Don’t believe the hype. Review

Don’t believe the hype.

What up, yo! It’s your boy B. Gizzle in the hizzle! Just the other day me and

my homies were layin’ back in the cut, talkin’ bout how the rap game ain’t gettin

no love from the peeps up in the video game joint. I mean, Def

Jam was tite and

all, but how’s a playa gonna work on his rhymes when all he got to spit is some

Michael Jackson and Bette Midler? Why can’t they get some Snoop or Dre up in

this b####? Fo reals, it’s all a conspiracy by some haters to keep us down,

yo.

If

you were actually able to understand all of that,

there’s at least a slight chance you’ll be interested in the new “rapaoke” game

from Eidos,

Get On Da Mic. That’s right – rapaoke. Finally, hip-hop gamers

can live out their dreams of rhyming along to their favorite beats and being

judged for it. Unfortunately, what sounds marginally good on paper is a nightmare

of a game, and despite its impressive musical lineup, should just be booed off

stage.

It’s odd that a music game with so many hits behind it can fall so flat. The

All-Star cast includes the likes of Biggie, Dre, Snoop and Tupac, as well as

other hits like ‘Ruff Ryder’s Anthem’ from DMX and even Digital Underground’s

‘Humpty Dance’ for the hip-hop clowns. Think that’s all? Get

On Da Mic brings

even more game with old-school classics like Salt N Pepa’s ‘Push It’ and ‘Rapper’s

Delight’ from The Sugarhill Gang. All that’s missing is a killer track from the

fast rappin’ Busta Rhymes or Twista for a a real challenge. The hip-hop crowd

has never seen a musical cast of this caliber assembled in one place outside

of one of those cheesy compilation infomercials.

But as soon as you start to actually play the game, things fall apart faster

than a Pimp

My Ride reject. The single-player game has a couple of uninteresting modes

including Exhibition, Practice and Freestyle. Career mode is where you’ll find

the meat of the game as you take one of six rappers from the bathroom to the

big time. As you progress, you’ll

earn cash for cars, clothes and cribs, though none of it has any real impact

on the game. Apparently, it’s still all about the bling.

In

true karaoke fashion, the awesome track list is butchered by horrific background

vocals. I’m amazed that they spent the money to get the licenses for these

songs, yet skimped on getting the actual artists that made them hits. Here,

all you’ll find are American Idol rejects rappin’ behind you.

There also seems to be some confusion about which lyrics to rap. Some songs want

you to include every little “yeah!” and “okay!” Lil’ Jon

style,

while others make you listen to the wannabe spit out the entire hook. There’s

just no rhyme or reason to it. And to add even more confusion, you’ll need

to rap censored curse words. The radio cuts were used for the majority of the

tracks to keep the game ‘Teen’ rated, but you’ve still got

plenty of words like “n####” and “b####” to

look forward to. What the f###?

The drugged out lyric bar doesn’t help things, either. Maybe it’s just the nature

of the rap game, but if you don’t already know the lyrics, there’s no way you’ll

be able to keep up with a bar that is flying through words one second and crawling

along the next. Even if you do know the track, the timing isn’t always exactly

the same as the original mix, making for a whole new way of rappin’ that song.

But

by far the biggest wrench thrown into this game is the fact that it doesn’t even

work. Since raps aren’t “sung” the same way traditional songs are, pitch doesn’t

come into play at all. That means that as long as you make some sort of noise

at the appropriate time, you’ll do fine. I was able to stumble through entire

songs and even nab top scores by making random barnyard noises. Can I get a quack

quack? Sometimes, even silence will garner big points. Or maybe that’s just the

game’s

way of telling you to be quiet. Whoever built this thing needs to lay off the

pipe.

A few multiplayer modes are included as well, but considering how broken the

game is, you won’t be able to talk anyone else into playing without a pretty

good assortment of forties as incentive. Eyetoy owners can hook up their camera

and watch themselves rap, but they can also just stand in front of a mirror.

And that’s probably a better idea than looking at Get

On Da Mic‘s lousy graphics. Stupid-looking digital thugs represent you

while you rap, but the bad lip synching and failure to move on the beat makes

it worse than a Milli

Vanilli concert (or for you youngsters, Ashlee

Simpson. That acid reflux disease is a real motherf#####.)

While it’s nice to see the rap game represented, it’s terrible to see it happen

like this. Get

On Da Mic sets the stage for success with an awesome track list, but

fails miserably with its totally weak skills. Please, put down the mic.