Hello. My name is Hal. Prepare to die. Review

Hello. My name is Hal. Prepare to die.

Computers are out to destroy humanity. Don’t believe me? Look at Terminator

2 or The Matrix. Nobody knows how this whole argument started, but

the artificial intelligence punks that shot out my sun are going to be in a heap

of trouble, believe you me.

Until these binary spewing boxes of pure malevolence find the magical calculation

that places humans in petting zoos, computers

will have to be content with fragging our collective asses through games like

Unreal Tournament.

Unreal Tournament on the Dreamcast ports over those evil

number-crunching Bots from the PC, as well as allowing obligatory network

play against fellow humans. The result is a good console interpretation that

will take you across Deathmatches, Capture the Flag, Challenge, and Domination

modes, as you vie to be the number one gunner.

Still, the game experience pales compared to what the

PC version offers. I just have to say it. The PC brings you more levels,

modifications, updates, and the simple fact that you already have a keyboard

and mouse.

For example, where are the assault levels? Assault was my favorite game mode

– two teams pitted against one another in a match to be the king. The offensive

team must brave a mess of tasks compounded against an ever-dwindling time limit.

Levels such as securing a speeding train from the defenders to a full-scale

invasion of enemy shores were beautiful. And now, they are nowhere to be found.

However, the game does come with a surplus of Domination and Capture the Flag

levels. Domination involves securing territory throughout the level, aided by

team gameplay. Given, these same levels are easily obtainable for the PC through

the Unreal Tournament update. Chalk another one for PC over Dreamcast.

The Dreamcast limits you to three strict control configurations. Square pegs

being stuffed into round holes, these confining setups hurt the most with your

alternative fire capability. Pressing Up on the D-pad will give you your alternate

fire on Config 1 and 2, but once your thumb reaches down for that laser,

how are you going to aim? Config 3 fares no better, mucking up your aiming controls.

Why didn’t they just let me customize my own controls? Johnny finds this highly

confounding and illogical.

If you’ve got yourself a sugar daddy, you could get the expensive proprietary

mouse and keyboard for the Dreamcast. The keyboard is at least worthwhile with

other network games and Typing of the Dead,

but most people don’t even know that there’s a Dreamcast mouse. At least the

PS2 has USB hookups for some universal peripheral usage.

Even after you drop the cash on accessories, it will only “control” like the

PC. The experience still isn’t the same. Why eat imitation crab when you could

have the real deal?

The game boasts 8-player network play. The computer can do more than twice

that many, but a more direct comparison would be Quake III DC, which can only

handle 4. The lag can get annoying, but for a console it’s still impressive,

so I tip my hat.

Network play is relatively fun considering the limitation of a 56K modem.

And the Broadband adapter? Well, these puppies have only recently crawled back

into stock on Sega’s website and will set you back another 60 dollars. If you

already have broadband, then your computer is probably hefty enough for the

cheaper, grander PC version.

Despite

my attacks on DC Unreal, it still offers a fine helping of visceral fun..

The DC bots on the harder levels provide a good challenge, and even on lesser

levels, the single player experience makes for some good times. If you can deal

with the split screen, 2 player versus offers a kick…but 4 player matches will

drop the framerates and graphic detail noticeably.

The graphics are a little fuzzy. The framerates are well oiled, but the sharpness

is a few shades shy of wholly pleasing. The PS2

version of Unreal Tournament looks like the PC outputting to TV at

640 by 480. Dreamcast is a notch below that. Nonetheless, you can still see

the stylistic future world of UT adequately.

The character models are well constructed, but there are only skins for male

characters. I think that’s just more than a little bit sexist. How are lady

gamers supposed to feel when their entire sex hasn’t been represented? How are

hormonal pubescent boys supposed to feel when they can’t look at digital booty?

Speaking of which, the post game pelvic thrusting is also missing. How can

I celebrate my victories without a gratuitous jab into the air? I must assert

my superiority through a lewd gesture, yet I am woefully robbed of all such

abilities. Erh, anyway…

The sound and music translate beautifully, largely the equivalent of the PC

version.

Many will wonder if this is better than Quake

III for the DC. More than anything, it’s apples and oranges. I’ve always

been a fan of UT over QIII, so for me this game is more fun. Considering

the increased number of potential opponents in the online play, it’s closer

to what a FPS online console frag-fest should be.

If your PC is decent enough and you’ve got

the connection speeds, Unreal Tournament: Game of the Year Edition

is available for less than 20 dollars. And you won’t have to buy additional

equipment.

But lets say you don’t have a decent computer and can barely even run this

webpage – the Dreamcast is your only possible source of FPS mayhem with network

play. Unreal Tournament is a good choice; just remember, it’s not the

whole enchilada. I like the difficulty level of the bots within single player

as well as the possibility of 8-player network play. And where else can you

find a chance to put those damn dirty

robots in their rightful place?