Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2) Full FAQ and Walkthrough Written by Chase "AggroSk8er" Ansok Version 2.1f (f meaning final) -- 21 February 2005 "And so I says to Mable, I says 'READ THE FAQ!' And then I says, 'Before asking me a question about the location of something, check the map that came with your game!'" This guide is pretty much complete, and updates will be very rare, if ever. If you see a website not using this version, please tell me so I can submit it to them. E-mails will still be answered. Thank you everyone who made this guide possible, and for making this the most widely read and distributed fan-made walkthrough ever written. 2.1f Notice: The Madd Dogg glitch has been debunked. See the FAQ/Glitch section for more details. Also, I apologize to anyone whose e-mail does not get read. Right now, I am swamped with school, hockey, and theatre work and very rarely get more than twenty minutes of free time. Please feel free to send e-mail, as there is still a good chance that I'll get around to it. IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION READ THE FAQ IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION READ THE FAQ FIRST ******************************************************************************* --_________----_________------------------________----------------___--------_- -|---------|--|---------|---|-------__---|--------|-------|------|---|------|-| -|---______|--|__-----__|--|-|-----|__|--|--______|------|-|-----|-||-|-----|-| -|--|------------|---|----|---|----------|-|------------|---|----|-|-|-|----|-| -|--|______------|---|---|--|--|---------|-|_______----|--|--|---|-|--|-|---|-| -|--_____--|-----|---|--|--|-|--|--------|_______--|--|--|-|--|--|-|---|-|--|-| -|-|-----|-|-----|---|-|--|___|--|---------------|-|-|--|___|--|-|-|---|-|--|-| -|-|-----|-|-----|---|-|---__----|--------_______|-|-|---__----|-|-|----|-|-|-| -|-|_____|-|-----|---|-|--|--|-|-|--__---|---------|-|--|--|-|-|-|-|----|-|-|-| -|_________|-----|___|-|__|--|___|-|__|--|_________|-|__|--|___|-|_|----|_____| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------___-------_---___------______---______---------------_________--- ------|------|---|-----|-|-|---|----|------|-|------|------|------|---------|-- -----|-|-----|-||-|----|-|-|--_-|---|--__--|-|--____|-----|-|-----|--_______|-- ----|---|----|-|-|-|---|-|-|-|-|-|--|-|--|-|-|-|---------|---|----|-|---------- ---|--|--|---|-|--|-|--|-|-|-|--|-|-|-|__|-|-|-|____----|--|--|---|-|_______--- --|--|-|--|--|-|--|-|--|-|-|-|--|-|-|-----_|-|--____|--|--|-|--|--|______---|-- -|--|___|--|-|-|--|-|--|-|-|-|--|-|-|--|-|---|-|------|--|___|--|--------|--|-- -|---__----|-|-|--|-|--|-|-|-|_|-|--|-|-|-|--|-|____--|---__----|--______|--|-- -|--|--|-|-|-|-|--|--|_|-|-|----|---|-|-|-|--|------|-|--|--|---|-|---------|-- -|__|--|___|-|_|--|______|-|___|----|_|--|_|-|______|-|__|--|___|-|_________|-- ******************************************************************************* IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION READ THE FAQ IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION READ THE FAQ FIRST My ASCII art sucks. Bite me. I still like it. Also, tags, snapshots, and horseshoes, oh my! http://hem.bredband.net/708145/ !!!E-mail Info!!! Before sending a question, ask yourself the following things: 1. Is my question answered in the FAQ? Section III, check it out. 2. Is my question answered in the guide? Look for it. 3. Is my question answered by common sense (i.e. How do I kill people)? If so, I will laugh at you and call you stupid when you send the e-mail. 4. Is my question about the location of a vehicle? If so, I really don't know where it is, unless it's an exportable car, in which case, check the section on the Import/Export Crane. 5. Is my question about a glitch, but not a submission (i.e. how to fix one)? If so, I can't help you. I am not tech support. 6. Is my question about MILLIE for the KEYCARD or MADD DOGG? If so, NO! I can't help you! These are glitches, and while people have sent in fixes, none of them are guaranteed. I've tried 30-40 different methods, and it looks to be very random, and very glitch. 7. Have I already tried doing something before asking it (i.e. What happens if I do this...)? If not, save, then try it. If it's bad, don't do it. If it's good, you should do it. 8. Is my question about a cheat? If so, don't send it. Period. End of story. 9. Is my question about PERMISSION TO USE THE GUIDE ON A WEBSITE? If so, don't even bother. No other websites can use the guide. 10. Is your question about a different glitch than the major ones above? If so, then check the glitch section. This mainly includes the GYM GLITCH. 11. Is my question something that sounds like it's been asked before (i.e. maybe something about the planes in Easter Bay Airport)? If so, read the FAQ! 12. Is my question written with the basic principles of the English language, such as at least an attempt to use grammar, spelling, and punctuation? If not, I will probably not respond to the e-mail. 13. Does my question have a proper heading (i.e. If it's about the mission Nines and AKs, put Nines and AKs Question as the title)? If not, please use one instead of having "GTA:SA" or something as the title. 14. Finally, do I understand that by taking the 60 seconds to read these 14 points, you have saved both you and I a lot of trouble? If so, then I love you. Before sending a submission, ask yourself the following things: 1. Is my submission already in the guide? If so, it will be disregarded. This is especially important for the Triathlon (Beat the Cock) races. 2. Is my submission a strategy for a mission that actually needs it? If not, it will be disregarded. Easy missions with no real alternate strategies will be ignored because they are just unnecessary. 3. Is my submission a glitch or Easter Egg? If so, make sure that the title is either GLITCH or EASTER EGG. 4. Is my submission utterly pointless (i.e. There are planes in this game, did you know that)? If so, then don't send that either. Current completion progress: 100% Total time logged to 100%: 68:05 I am: Playing World of Warcraft. The guide is pretty much done. O. Version History (dd/mm/yy) (555O) 2.1f -- 11/02/05 Sections updated: Criminal Rankings, Easter Eggs, FAQ Missions updated: Chiliad Challenge E-mail count: 6333 (look how much slower :D Paste in code for quick jump, leave the parentheses in and go case-sensitive for a perfect result) O. Version History (555O) I. Introduction (555I) a. Personal Rant (555Ia) b. About This Guide (555Ib) c. What I Want (And Don't Want) (555Ic) II. Legal Junk (555II) III. FAQ (555III) a. Basic Questions (555IIIa) b. When can I... (555IIIb) c. Last Missions and 100% (555IIIc) d. How do I... (555IIId) e. Why..., Why not..., Where is... and What is... (555IIIe) f. Cheats and Tech Support (555IIIf) g. Other (555IIIg) IV. *Los Santos Walkthrough* (555IV) a. Sean "Sweet" Johnson I (555IVa) 1. Big Smoke (555IVa1) 2. Ryder (555IVa2) 3. Tagging Up Turf (555IVa3) 4. Cleaning The Hood (555IVa4) 5. Drive-Thru (555IVa5) 6. Nines and AKs (555IVa6) 7. Drive-By (555IVa7) 8. Sweet's Girl (555IVa8) 9. Cesar Vialpando (555IVa9) b. Lance "Ryder" Wilson (555IVb) 1. Home Invasion (555IVb1) 2. Catalyst (555IVb2) 3. Robbing Uncle Sam (555IVb3) c. Cesar Vialpando (555IVc) 1. High Stakes, Low-Rider (555IVc1) d. Melvin "Big Smoke" Harris (555IVd) 1. OG Loc (555IVd1) 2. Running Dog (555IVd2) 3. Wrong Side Of The Tracks (555IVd3) 4. Just Business (555IVd4) e. Jefferey "OG Loc" Martin (555IVe) 1. Life's a Beach (555IVe1) 2. Madd Dogg's Rhymes (555IVe2) 3. Management Issues (555IVe3) 4. House Party (555IVe4) f. Officer Frank Tenpenny (555IVf) 1. Burning Desires (555IVf1) 2. Gray Imports (555IVf2) g. Sean "Sweet Johnson II (555IVg) 1. Doberman (555IVg1) 2. Los Sepulcros (555IVg2) 3. Reuniting the Families (555IVg3) 4. The Green Sabre (555IVg4) V. *Badlands Walkthrough* (555V) a. Officer Frank Tenpenny (555Va) 1. Badlands (555Va1) b. Catalina I (555Vb) 1. First Date (555Vb1) 2. Tanker Commander (555Vb2) c. The Truth I (555Vc) 1. Body Harvest (555Vc1) d. Cesar Vialpando I (555Vd) 1. King in Exile (555Vd1) e. Catalina II (555Ve) 1. First Base (555Ve1) 2. Against All Odds (555Ve2) 3. Gone Courting (555Ve3) 4. Small Town Bank (555Ve4) 5. Made In Heaven (555Ve5) 6. Local Liquor Store (555Ve6) f. Cesar Vialpando II (555Vf) 1. Wu Zi Mu (555Vf1) 2. Farewell, My Love... (555Vf2) g. The Truth II (555Vg) 1. Are You Going to San Fierro? (555Vg1) VI. *San Fierro Walkthrough* (555VI) a. Carl Johnson's Garage (555VIa) 1. Wear Flowers in Your Hair (555VIa1) 2. 555 We Tip (555VIa2) 3. Deconstruction (555VIa3) b. Smoke's Couriers (555VIb) 1. Big Smoke's Cash (555VIb1) 2. Yay Courier (555VIb2) c. Syndicate Missions (555VIc) 1. Photo Opportunity (555VIc1) 2. Mission: Jizzy (555VIc2) 3. T-Bone Mendez (555VIc3) 4. Mike Toreno (555VIc4) 5. Outrider (555VIc5) 6. Snail Trail (555VIc6) 7. Ice Cold Killa (555VIc7) 8. Pier 69 (555VIc8) 9. Toreno's Last Flight (555VIc9) d. Wu Zi Mu (555VId) 1. Mountain Cloud Boys (555VId1) 2. Ran Fa Li (555VId2) 3. Lure (555VId3) 4. Amphibious Assault (555VId4) 5. The Da Nang Thang (555VId5) e. Syndicate Missions II (555VIe) 1. Yay Ka-Boom-Boom (555VIe1) f. Zero's RC (555VIf) 1. Air Raid (555VIf1) 2. Supply Lines... (555VIf2) 3. New Model Army (555VIf3) g. Back to School (555VIg) 1. The 360 (555VIg1) 2. The 180 (555VIg2) 3. Whip and Terminate (555VIg3) 4. Pop and Control (555VIg4) 5. Burn and Lap (555VIg5) 6. Cone Coil (555VIg6) 7. The 90 (555VIg7) 8. Wheelie Weave (555VIg8) 9. Spin and Go (555VIg9) 10. P.I.T. Maneuver (555VIg10) 11. Alley Oop (555VIg11) 12. City Slicking (555VIg12) VII. *The Desert Walkthrough* (555VII) a. Mike Toreno (555VIIa) 1. Monster (555VIIa1) 2. Highjack (555VIIa2) 3. Interdiction (555VIIa3) 4. Verdant Meadows (555VIIa4) b. Learning to Fly (aka PILOT SCHOOL) (555VIIb) 1. Takeoff (555VIIb1) 2. Land Plane (555VIIb2) 3. Circle Airstrip (555VIIb3) 4. Circle Airstrip and Land (555VIIb4) 5. Takeoff Helicopter (555VIIb5) 6. Land Helicopter (555VIIb6) 7. Destroy Targets (555VIIb7) 8. Loop-the-Loop (555VIIb8) 9. Barrel Roll (555VIIb9) 10. Parachute Onto Target (555VIIb10) c. Airstrip Missions (555VIIc) 1. N.O.E. (555VIIc1) 2. Stowaway (555VIIc2) 3. Black Project (555VIIc3) 4. Green Goo (555VIIc4) d. Cesar Vialpando (555VIId) 1. Zeroing In (555VIId1) 2. Test Drive (555VIId2) 3. Customs Fast Track (555VIId3) 4. Puncture Wounds (555VIId4) VIII. *Las Venturas Walkthrough* (555VIII) a. Wu Zi Mu (555VIIIa) 1. Fender Ketchup (555VIIIa1) 2. Explosive Situation (555VIIIa2) 3. You've Had Your Chips (555VIIIa3) b. The Truth (555VIIIb) 1. Don Peyote (555VIIIb1) c. Ken Rosenburg (555VIIIc) 1. Intensive Care (555VIIIc1) 2. Meat Business (555VIIIc2) 3. Freefall (555VIIIc3) d. Officer Frank Tenpenny (555VIIId) 1. Misappropriation (555VIIId1) 2. High Noon (555VIIId2) e. Madd Dogg (555VIIIe) 1. Madd Dogg (555VIIIe1) f. Salvatore Leone (555VIIIf) 1. Saint Mark's Bistro (555VIIIf1) g. The Heist (555VIIIg) 1. Architectural Espionage (555VIIIg1) 2. Key to Her Heart (555VIIIg2) 3. Dam and Blast (555VIIIg3) 4. Cop Wheels (555VIIIg4) 5. Up, Up, and Away! (555VIIIg5) 6. Breaking the Bank at Caligula's (555VIIIg6) IX. *Return to Los Santos Walkthrough* (555IX) a. Opening Mission (555IXa) 1. A Home in the Hills (555IXa1) b. CJ's Mansion (555IXb) 1. Vertical Bird (555IXb1) 2. Home Coming (555IXb2) 3. Cut Throat Business (555IXb3) c. Sean "Sweet" Johnson (555IXc) 1. Beat Down on B-Dup (555IXc1) 2. Grove 4 Life (555IXc2) d. The Riots (555IXd) 1. Riot (555IXd1) 2. Los Desperados (555IXd2) 3. End of the Line (555IXd3) X. Side Missions (555X) a. Los Santos Missions (555Xa) 1. Firefighter (555Xa1) 2. Home Invasion (555Xa2)3. Paramedic (555Xa3) 4. Pimpin' (555Xa4) 5. Taxi Driver (555Xa5) 6. Vigilante (555Xa6) 7. Lowrider Challenge (555Xa7) 8. Los Santos Courier (555Xa8) 9. BMX Challenge (555Xa9) 10. Los Santos Arena (8-track) (555Xa10) b. Badlands + San Fierro Missions (555Xb) 1. Chiliad Challenge (555Xb1) a. Scotch Bonnet Yellow Route (555Xb1a) b. Birdseye Winder Yellow Route (555Xb1b) c. Cobra Run (555Xb1c) 2. San Fierro Arena (Blood Bowl) (555Xb2) 3. San Fierro Courier (555Xb3) 4. NRG Challenge (555Xb4) 5. Valet Parking (555Xb5) c. The Desert + Las Venturas Missions (555Xc) 1. Boating School (555Xc1) s. Basic Seamanship (555Xc1a) b. Plot a Course (555Xc1b) c. Fresh Slalom (555Xc1c) d. Flying Fish (555Xc1d) e. Land, Sea, and Air (555Xc1e) 2. Freight Train (555Xc2) 3. Trucking (555Xc3) 4. Ammunation Challenge (555Xc4) 5. Import/Export Crane (555Xc5) 6. Bike School (555Xc6) a. The 360 (555Xc6a) b. The 180 (555Xc6b) c. The Wheelie (555Xc6c) d. Jump and Stop (555Xc6d) e. The Stoppie (555Xc6e) f. Jump and Stoppie (555Xc6f) 7. Las Venturas Arena (Dirt Track) (555Xc7) 8. Las Venturas Arena (Kickstart) (555Xc8) 9. Las Venturas Courier (555Xc9) 10. Quarry Missions (555Xc10) d. Race Tournaments (555Xd) 1. Los Santos Circuit (555Xd1) 2. San Fierro Circuit (555Xd2) 3. Las Venturas Circuit (555Xd3) 4. Las Venturas Airport Checkpoints (555Xd4) XI. Basic Info (555XI) a. Controls (555XIa) 1. On Foot (555XIa1) 2. In Car (555XIa2) 3. On Bike (555XIa3) 4. In Helicopter (555XIa4) 5. In Plane (555XIa5) b. **** Tha Police! (555XIb) c. Statistics (555XIc) d. Respect (555XId) e. Weapon Info (555XIe) f. Stores Info (555XIf) g. Safe House Info (555XIg) h. Car Mods Info (555XIh) i. Girlfriend Info (555XIi) j. Gambling Info (555XIj) k. Tags, Oysters, etc. (555XIk) l. Extras (Needs Work) (555XIl) 1. Unique Jumps (555XIl1) 2. Two-player Stuff (555XIl2) 3. Arcades and Other Extraneous Stuff (555XIl3) 4. Beat the Cock (555XIl4) (THESE ARE THE TRIATHLON RACES) 5. Other Not 100% Stuff (555XIl5) m. Gangs and Turf Wars (555XIm) n. 100%, The Legacy (555XIn) XII. Vehicle Info (555XII) a. SUVs and Wagons (555XIIa) b. 2-Door Sedans (555XIIb) c. 4-Door Luxury Sedans (555XIIc) d. Muscle Cars (555XIId) e. Street Racers (555XIIe) f. High Performance Cars (555XIIf) g. Heavy Trucks and Utility (555XIIg) h. Light Trucks and Vans (555XIIh) i. Lowriders (555XIIi) j. Recreational (555XIIj) k. Bikes and Motorcycles (555XIIk) l. Civil Service and Transportation (555XIIl) m. R3 Vehicles (555XIIm) n. Airplanes (555XIIn) o. Helicopters (555XIIo) p. Boats (555XIIp) q. RC Cars (555XIIq) XIII. Extraneous Crap (555XIII) a. Glitches (555XIIIa) b. Easter Eggs (555XIIIb) c. Criminal Rankings (555XIIIc) d. Flight Rankings (555XIIId) XIV. Contact Information (555XIV) XV. Special Thanks (555XV) ******************************************************************************* I. Introduction (555I) Hello and welcome to my Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas FULL Walkthrough and FAQ. GTA:SA, as it will be referred to as of now, is the next installment of Rockstar's ground-breaking series. Grand Theft Auto 3 has won world-wide prestige for the amount of freedom and advanced gameplay that gamers had yet to see. GTA:VC, released a little over a year later, took the same game and made it even better. More weapons, more cars, more freedom. GTA:SA is the third installment of to GTA3, and looks to have the most freedom of all. The possibilities for this game are endless. A. Personal Rant (555Ia) This guide takes up a lot, a lot, a LOT of time. I go to school full time. I play for a travel hockey team out of San Mateo, California. I DO have a social life. So please, be gentle with me. I will work on this guide as much as possible, but I do have other things to do. As far as I know, I'm not getting paid for this. If someone wants to give me money to hurry up, then contact me. Money is good. B. About This Guide (555Ib) This is a COMPLETE walkthrough for San Andreas. It should cover everything you need to get 100% and some of the extra crap that's just fun. C. What I Want (And Don't Want) (555Ic) Here is what I want: Suggestions for missions, cool tricks that I haven't found, important information, pleasant e-mails, and questions that I haven't answered 40,000 times. If it's in the FAQ and you ask a question, you will be yelled at. I will swear at you and call you stupid. I'm not even kidding. What I don't want: Questions that I've already answered in the guide, questions answered in your instruction manual, mindless rants, viruses, bad porn (good porn is fine, so long as it's free), spam, and things in AOL gibberish. Please use decent grammar. "how i do M4-1 plz hlp" gets the trash can real fast, or in my "stupidest e-mails ever" section, as you can see at the end of the guide. If it isn't in either one, feel free to send it in. If it's good, I'll post it, if not, I'll probably give you a reply. Also note that it really helps if your title has something to do with your e-mail. "San Andreas", "GTA", "Question", and "(no subject)" get responded to last usually, because I don't know whether they're good things or not. ******************************************************************************* II. Legal Junk (555II) This document is copyrighted material of Chase Ansok and may not be used without expressed written consent of Chase Ansok. No part of this guide can be used without proper quoting and/or recognition. Any person(s) found violating this copyright is/are punishable by law and will be to the fullest extent. The following sites have permission to use this guide: www.GameFAQs.com www.GameSpot.com www.IGN.com www.GTAGuides.com www.CheatCC.com www.SuperCheats.com www.CheatPlanet.com www.GameRevolution.com www.PlanetGrandTheftAuto.com www.StuckGamer.com (Video Walkthroughs) As of 10/29, I think enough sites have this guide up and running. I know that you would love to boost traffic to your site, but most of these sites get over 500,000 hits a day, IGN and GameFAQs getting in the millions. It's safe to say that anyone that wants to read this guide can now. If you see another site using my guide and it is not listed here, please contact me with the title "Copyright Infringement". Your geocities, angelfire, livejournal, sphosting, etc. sites CANNOT use this guide! Registered websites dedicated to gaming or San Andreas can use this guide with my permission. You can LINK to my guide at the following address: http://pages.sbcglobal.net/cowoflight/safaq.txt GameFAQs is the best place to look for the guide, but you can't link directly to the FAQs there. That's the best link you'll get, since it's my webspace and I'll have it updated as soon as possible. However, it has limited bandwidth. Don't be sad if it's down for the day. ******************************************************************************* III. Frequently Asked Questions (555III) A. BASIC QUESTIONS (555IIIa) Q: When was Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas released? A: GTA: San Andreas was released 26/10/04 in the US, and 29/10/04 outside of North America. Q: Why do some places say 25/10/04? A: Many stores sold the game at 6-7:00 on the 25th. Q: What is GTA: SA's ESRB rating? A: M (17+), get a parent/college student to buy it for you. Q: Do you work for Rockstar or any development company? A: No, no, a thousand times no. I'm a freelance FAQ writer. I cannot fix your glitches or explain why something happened. I just play the game like anyone else, and I accept donations. If anyone wants exclusive rights to this guide, please contact me and we'll negotiate something. Q: What happened to that racist comment you made about that thing in the thing with all the things that thinged? A: It's gone. Despite the racism that litters this game, there won't be any here since people are offended by it. (But for some reason not the game.) Q: Hay where's the Madd Dogg Glitch info? A: One of the last questions in the FAQ. Scroll down. Q: LOL DILDO LOL? A: Yes, there's a ***** in the showers of the police station. Let's all giggle at the immature weapon everyone. And yes, you CAN give it to your girlfriends as a gift. Harharhar. -------------------------------------- B. 'WHEN CAN I...' (555IIIb) Q: When do I go to San Fierro? A: Sweet's mission Green Sabre opens up the Badlands and San Fierro. Q: When can I go to Las Venturas? A: The Syndicate mission Yay Ka-Boom Boom opens up the Desert and Las Venturas. Q: When can I fly planes/helicopters? A: At the very beginning of the game, just hop the fence to the airport by parking a truck or van next to the fence. You can also park a Packer and ride a vehicle over the fence. YOU DO NOT NEED TO GO TO PILOT SCHOOL YOU DO NOT NEED TO GO TO PILOT SCHOOL. These e-mails are getting very old, very quickly. Q: When can I go to driving/bike/boat/pilot school? A: Just keep doing the damned missions. There are no schools in Los Santos, but I know for a fact that the driving school is in San Fierro. More info comes as I play the game. YOU DO NOT NEED TO GO TO THESE SCHOOLS TO DRIVE CARS OR RIDE BIKES/BOATS OR FLY PLANES. JUST DO THE MISSIONS AND ENJOY THE SCHOOLS ONCE YOU CAN GET THEM. These e-mails are getting very old, very quickly. Q: PILOT ****ING SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A: I just did a filter of my Gmail. 9% of my e-mails have the word "school" in them, and all but twenty of them are about pilot school. Guys, just do the missions. You have to buy it as part of a mission, which comes right after you leave San Fierro. Freedom in GTA is earned, not given. Q: When do I get my pilot license? A: You can complete pilot school, or, if Paul Johnson is being truthful to me, simply breaking in a lot and flying lots of learjets and Dodos will net you a free pilot's license. (CONFIRMED, 20% FLYING SKILL = LICENSE) Q: When can I fly planes at Easter Bay? A: After you complete pilot school. Q: When can I do Cesar's missions in San Fierro? A: Complete Back to School and Yay Ka-Boom Boom and he'll call. Q: When do these stores open up? A: Read the stores section. ZIP opens up when SF is unlocked, Victim opens up when the Desert and LV are unlocked, and Didier Sachs opens when you return to Los Santos in A Home in the Hills. -------------------------------------- C. LAST MISSIONS AND 100% (555IIIc) Q: I finished the game and I only have ##%? Shouldn't I have 100%? A: Probably not. 99/100 times, people find out they missed some stupid detail. Q: WHY DON'T I HAVE 100%!?! I DID EVERYTHING!!! A: Apparently not. Double, triple, quadruple check to make sure you've done everything. If you're positive you have, then your game is glitched. Sorry. Remember, cheating induces glitches quite often. Q: If I did something in the secrets section, can I still get 100%? A: YES. SECRETS aren't cheats! Q: Do I need Big Smoke's Couriers for 100%? A: NO. -------------------------------------- D. 'HOW DO I...' (555IIId) Q: HOW DO I TWO-PLAYER!?!?!?!?!!?!!! A: There are two player icons scattered all throughout San Andreas. Hunt them down! I don't make maps, so I really can't help you. They are bright pink and have pictures of two people on them. Two-player mode has two types, rampage and free roam, and each icon has a different property to it. Happy hunting. Q: How do I recruit gang members? A: Target a GSF Member in green and hit up on the d-pad. Q: How do I take over territories after I've left Los Santos via mission? Q: When can I take over territories again? A: You can't. The Ballas have taken over and it will stay that way until you return to LS near the end of the game. You can take territories over again after the mission Homecoming. Q: How do I take over territories besides the Vagos and the Ballas? A: You can't. Q: How do I advance the game after I buy Verdant Meadows? A: Complete ALL ten pilot school challenges, not just the first four. Q: How do I turn off cheats? A: You can't. I told you not to save with them on. Q: How do I start Home Invasion? A: Enter the Black Boxville across the street from the gym in Ganton, Los Santos. Follow the instructions from there. Q: How do I get to the parachute location? A: It's on the tallest building in the southeast corner of Downtown Los Santos. Enter the building via the triangle and it's on the roof. There's also one on the very top of Mt. Chiliad. There are also like six more spawns. Q: How do I answer yes to a question, as with the Life's A Beach mission, or if I want to get a prostitute into my vehicle? A: Hit right on the d-pad for a positive response, or left for a negative. This is in your bloody goddamn instruction manual. Q: How do I take a shower? A: You can't really take a shower. If someone says, "You stink!", it's because you need either new clothes, or take some time swimming in the ocean. Q: How do I increase my sex appeal stat? A: Clothing, haircuts, fitness, respect, and the last car that you drove are all key to your sex appeal. Q: How do I dual wield weapons? A: Only the Tec9, MicroSMG, 9mm Pistol, and Sawn-off Shotgun can be dual weld. You need Hitman in those weapons to hold two of them. Get Hitman by shooting people, cars, cops, gang members, whatever. Q: How do I play pool? Everyone just raises their hands at me. A: If you ever attacked someone or targeted them in a bar, you are banned from pool. There is no fix to this. Q: How do I make millions of dollars doing nothing without being a cheating loserface dogbiscuit? A: Inside Track Betting! Head to Downtown Los Santos with about $10,000 and bet on the worst horse. If you fail, reload. If you win, take your cash and buy the closest safehouse (the one in Jefferson). Now take your $100k and bet that. Congrats, you now have $1.1 or so million. Winning a third time is very hard, since the game hates you for doing this. I got up to $18M, but it's possible to get into the billions if you are so inclined to do so. -------------------------------------- E. 'WHY...', 'WHY NOT...', 'WHERE IS' and 'WHAT IS...' (555IIIe) Q: What are L3 and R3? A: Press down on the left or right control stick for those buttons. Q: Where is the spray can? I died and lost mine/picked up a different special. A: In your starting house in Ganton, on the top floor in the bed room. Q: Where is this weapon? A: I don't know nor do I care. Bredband is working on creating a weapons location guide and I love him for it. Q: What are oysters/snapshots/horseshoes/spray paints? A: The equivalent of hidden packages. There are 100 sprays in Los Santos, 50 snapshots in San Fierro, 50 horseshoes in Las Venturas, and 50 oysters in the oceans of San Andreas. Q: Where do I find this car that doesn't start a mission? It's just cool!!! A: Does this LOOK like a car location guide? I don't know. Q: Where is this car that I need for the Import/Export garage? A: Scroll down or search for that section (555Xc5). It answers all the questions you might have. Q: Where is the strip club? A: I don't know, nor do I care. I believe that there is one across the street from the gym in San Fierro. Q: Where is all the hidden stuff? A: http://hem.bredband.net/708145/ Q: Where is the Vortex hovercraft? A: It's your reward for 25 Exports at the crane, and there's a parked one at Pirates in Men's Pants. Q: Where is the AT400? A: In Las Venturas airport, there is a huge hangar. Stand next to it to open it up, and the AT400 should be inside. If not, leave the airport and come back. Q: Where is the VTOL Fighter/Hydra? A: It's in the military base guarded by the army. You get one free for 100%, however, as well as for completing Vertical Bird. Q: Where is the Hunter? A: Also in the military base. It's your reward for all gold at flight school. Q: Where is the Import/Export crane? Why can't I use it? WHAT?!? A: It's unlocked after you complete Customs Fast Track for Cesar, the third mission that you get for him out in the desert. It explains everything you need to know about the stupid crane. Q: Where is this last Vagos territory that is not in Los Santos? Q: Why does it say that I still have a Vagos territory left? A: North of San Fierro, in the Bayside Marina, is a stray territory that will rarely spawn a set of Vagos. Kill them and kill a mere one wave of gang members and the territory is yours. Q: Why do people say I stink? A: You need to either get new clothes, or take some time swimming in the ocean. The remark means nothing, and has no effect on sex appeal. It's just annoying. Q: Why is Millie never home for Key to Her Heart? A: I have no idea. Try saving, reloading, leaving the city, coming back, checking at different hours, using different cars, wearing different clothes. She's a woman; she's fickle. Get used to it. Q: Why can't I play pool? Everyone just raises their hands. A: If you ever attacked someone or targeted them in a bar, you are banned from pool. There is no fix to this. Q: What is this Player Target thingamabobber on my map? A: Player Target is an awesome addition. Go to your map and zoom in. Hit circle. It goes away. Hit circle again and it comes back. Move around and place the target wherever you want to go. It's absolutely wonderful for plotting out routes in races or for missions, or just whenever you need to find things, like tags and oysters. I love that damn thing Q: What does "The Cluckin' Cock isn't ready yet mean? Q: When can I do the Triathlon (Beat the Cock) races? A: After you unlock Las Venturas. -------------------------------------- F. CHEATS AND TECH SUPPORT (555IIIf) Q: If I did something in the secrets section, can I still get 100%? A: YES. SECRETS aren't cheats! Q: How do I turn off cheats? A: You can't. I told you not to save with them on. Q: I have a problem with my game, and I can't fix it. Help. A: I'm not tech support. Call them, not me. Q: But it's a really annoying glitch. Please fix it for me. A: I'm still not tech support. Q: I cheated, am I screwed now? A: Maybe, maybe not. If you spawned something, change suits, or did anything besides the armor/health cheat, I'd be leery. All cheats are saved and if SA is anything like GTAIII or VC, they cannot be undone. Update: Actually, you probably are. The mission Madd Dogg loves to glitch on people that have cheated. You are unable to progress in the game if you get the glitch. Q: What are the cheats? Do you care about cheats? Cheats? CHEATS?!!? A: I hate cheats. I have never cheated in any of the GTA games. Please stop e-mailing me about cheats. If you're using cheats, why are you using a guide? -------------------------------------- G. OTHER (555IIIg) Q: Vice City? And anything regarding it? A: NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. A thousand bloody times: NO. I stopped replying to Vice City e-mail in January of 2003. January of two thousand and three. Stop sending me e-mail about Vice City. The e-mail in that guide hasn't been answered in almost TWO YEARS. Q: Why didn't you post my submission/reply to my e-mail/read my IM? A: I receive a whole lot e-mails because of these guides. I am very busy, so some stuff never gets read. Odds are, if it says "I have codes", I don't care. Most of the codes are already posted here, and the rest are probably crap. Q: I have your old e-mail address? Can I e-mail you there? A: Please, please, please don't use the e-mail in my Vice City guide. It's my personal e-mail address and it's really just not cool to do that. Q: I found this and it's not in your guide, and you want it, how do I send it in? Also, you want it! It's not useless crap! A: Awesome! My e-mail is sanandreasfaq@gmail.com! Remember, you get full credit for good finds, so don't hesitate to help. Q: I submitted something and you added it without credit! What gives? A: There are two explanations. If many people submit the same thing to me, I add it as "submitted by multiple people". If it's something that I already knew and just forgot to add, I usually thank you by e-mail and not in the guide. If it's a miniscule fix like a single typo, I probably correct it and move on. Q: I have a question that should be in this FAQ, can I send it in? A: Sure...it may not be posted, but it's worth a try. Q: Why are you so *****y about e-mails? A: Because there are a lot of stupid people, and they all have my e-mail address and come to that before ever using the walkthrough. It's incredibly annoying, and until the e-mails start to die down, there will be a lot of notices about stupid e-mails. ******************************************************************************* IV. Los Santos Storyline Walkthrough (555IV) Opening Mission: Ride the stupid bike home. Get a feel for the controls. Giggle as you ram into like twenty poles trying to get used to a bicycle. A. Sean "SWEET" Johnson, YO BROTHA (555IVa) 1. *Big Smoke* (555IVa1) Difficulty: 3/10 This is actually a pretty hard first mission because you're on a bike with no way to defend yourself against the Ballas. Watch the two cutscenes and follow Sweet. When Sweet breaks off, follow Ryder. Stay RIGHT behind them. Ballas will come up along side you, and they can't die for some reason. I watched Ryder get drilled with like three clips and he just kept riding and yelling at me. When you get back, Sweet calls. Reward: Sweet opens as a boss; Respect earned. (get used to that) 2. *Ryder* (555IVa2) Difficulty: 1/10 You're a taxi now. Drive to Reece's barber shop and get a cheap $50 cut, since Reece doesn't offer anything cool for under $400. Then, head to Well-Stacked Pizza (thanks D Stone >_>), run out when Ryder screws up and gets shot, and drive back to the Grove. Woo. Exciting. Reward: Respect earned. 3. *Tagging Up Turf* (555IVa3) Difficulty: 1/10 If you can read, you can do this. Just listen to what you're told and do what it says. Drive to the blip, spray paint the tags, repeat a second time. And hey, 7/100 on tags. Only 93 more to find!!!! If you can't do this, I have no idea how to help you. The markers appear on your in-game radar and map. Use them. Reward: $200 + Respect earned. 4. *Cleaning the Hood* (555IVa4) Difficulty: 2/10 Take Ryder to B-Dup's house and watch the inspiring cut scene. Check the minimap for the crack dealer, target him, and start punching the ever living crap out of him. When he hits the floor, take the bat, get back in the car, and cross the street. Go inside and target the people one by one, starting with the guy with the bat. When they're all down, head back to Sweet's. Reward: Respect earned. 5. *Drive Thru* (555IVa5) Difficulty: 3/10 Big Smoke is hungry and wants fried chicken (look! NO RACISM! Even though the entire mission is a play on the stereotype, this statement no longer contains ANY racism! There! Also, the gigantic disclaimer up top is gone as well!) Anyway, the Grove heads out to Cluckin' Bell, scopes out a Balla ride, and sees that they're planning a hit. Pin the Tornado against a wall and let the Groves do their thing. Make sure that when the car blows, you aren't still touching it. I did that once and they all died. It was very sad. Also, racism is bad. Afterwards, Sweet calls about the gym. Go there. Spend an hour or so just saving, working out, saving to a new day, working out. I had my stamina and muscle decked out and it helps an absolute ton. Reward: $500 + Respect earned. 6. *Nines and AKs* (555IVa6) Difficulty: 1/10 Go see Emmet. Go through stupid tutorial. Drive to Binco. Try on ugly clothes. I went with a dog tag and a backwards green bandana. Leave Binco. Reward: Respect earned. (though you really shouldn't have expected more) 7. *Drive-By* (555IVa7) Difficulty: 3/10 Whee. You still don't get to shoot anything. Get in the car and go to each set of Ballas and let the Grove take them out. Stay away from the cars, since they'll explode and wreck your ride. Afterwards, you get a two-star (oh nohs!) wanted rating. Head to the Pay-and-Spray for your complimentary tune up and cruise back to Sweet's. Jess Edwards also claims that you can just run over most of the Ballas and still get credit for the mission. Reward: $500, Respect earned, Ryder and Big Smoke open up as bosses. 8. *Sweet's Girl* (555IVa8) Difficulty: 2/10 You get to shoot stuff! Finally! Well, maybe not, if you did it the way I did. Just come in, run over all the Ballas and knife the one on the stairs. Or shoot him. Whatever. Sweet will call, so grab him and his girl and high tail it back to the Grove. Reward: Respect earned. 9. *Cesar Vialpando* (555IVa9) Difficulty: Depends how good you are at Amplitude/10 Go to the garage on the map, look at the expensive mods that you can foolishly add to a car. Head over to the lowriding competition and place your bet. I bet $1000 and it wasn't even close. Easy money if you ask me. The beat is slow, move the control stick, blahblahblah. When that's done, watch the lovely cutscene, and breathe a sigh of relief, we're done with Sweet for now. I really can't help you with this mission, since I can't come and dance for you. Reward: Your bet winnings + Respect earned. ############################################################################## B. Lance "RYDER" Wilson, THE GANGSTER WHO _LOVES_ TO SAY 'NIGGA' (555IVb) 1. *Home Invasion* (555IVb1) Difficulty: 2/10 This is your tutorial to home invasion. Nothing fancy here. Drive down to the guy's house quickly (try to make it by 6:30ish). Go in, follow the instructions by staying quiet. The six boxes are (1. In the first room, 2. Through the door on the right, 3. On the first flight of stairs, 4. At the end of the hallway, 5. In the guy's room to the left, and 6. In the guy's room behind his bed). You should have plenty of time to get them all, but I really don't know what getting them all adds. No reason not to though, really. Drive to the safe house and you're good to go. Reward: Respect earned. 2. *Catalyst* (555IVb2) Difficulty: 2.5/10 Start again by running over all of the Vagos. When the Vagos are gone, the Ballas show up. Kill all four of them and head into the red blip. Now you get to play some stupid minigame. You have an unlimited amount of cases, so just check them for the minute you have. Ryder will catch enough to win. At one point, he pulls up right next to you, so it's not a big problem. End the mission by working your way around the police (it's only three stars) and into the Pay N' Spray. Head home to finish. Reward: Respect earned. 3. *Robbing Uncle Sam* (555IVb3) Difficulty: 3.5/10 Follow the directions to the docks, jump over the wall (you should know how to do this by now), cap the guard, blow off the first security panel, then blow off the second security panel. Run in guns blazing and take out all of the National Guards. Get used to the fork lift, but expect to have to jump out a few times to help Ryder, and expect to get pulled out a few times by a magical guard that materializes right behind you. Take your time, and don't hit walls and drop the boxes. That's very bad. Drive the truck to the safehouse, dropping as many boxes as you see fit. If you can take out both of them, great. If you can't get it either, whatever. You can make it just fine. And that's it for Ryder. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Andrew Stuart has this spiffy strategy: When you get to the locked gate, kill the National Guardsmen and LEAVE THE GATE SWITCH ALONE. Head on in to the warehouse and blow the switch there. Kill the guards inside. Now, get in the forklift and move all of the boxes, including the two outside the warehouse into nice neat rows by the entrance. Now go out and blow the gate switch. Run back to the forklift and get ready to start loading the boxes immediately. After five crates, I got out and Ak'ed the guards who were trying to kill Ryder. Doing this way meant that Ryder only got shot once or twice, and it was a nice leisurely drive home...didn't have too much of a problem with the Hummers (I think one flipped on the first bridge out of the docks). --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reward: Respect earned. (Ryder's a cheap little ****, ain't he?) ############################################################################## C. CESAR VIALPANDO, THE MEXICAN THAT LOVES THE CHOCOLATE (555IVc) 1. *High Stakes, Low-Rider* (555IVc1) Difficulty: 5/10 Guh. The CPU hits a pole, it falls right over. You hit a pole, you spin and lose complete control. Keep working at it. You want to floor it on the the three main straightaways and take it really slow during the turn section. You don't need a fast lowrider, you need one that handles well. I was a stubborn moron and tried to do this in the Picador from the mission where we met Cesar, and it took me about fifteen tries. You can do this with any lowrider: Blade, Broadway, Remington, Savanna, Slamvan, Tornado, and Voodoo are the seven lowriders that are available. This mission IS required to advance the story, but in itself, it is not a storyline mission. Update: For all of you weird people that can't find a lowrider, open your eyes. Los Santos' ghetto is 90% lowriders. All of the Ballas and GSF members drive lowriders. There's one parked right across from Cesar's house for God's sake. Reward: $1000 ############################################################################## D. Melvin "BIG SMOKE" Harris, GREATLY ENJOYS FRIED CHICKEN (555IVd) 1. *OG Loc* (555IVd1) Difficulty: 4/10 This is a hilarious mission, but it's also pretty annoying. Pick up Jeff... I mean OG Loc at the police station and drive him over to Freddy's house. After some taunting and tales of Jeff's life in prison, Freddy takes off on a PCJ. Grab the other one and pursue him. You can't kill Freddy or do anything to the bike, so just stay on his tail. I'm not sure how close you have to stay, but I fell off an overpass and followed him under it and I didn't fail. Eventually, Freddy parks, and you can kill him and the Vagos. Afterwards, drive Jeff to his new job at Burger Shot. NEW INFO: Apparently, you CAN kill him on the bike. I tried my ass off a few times and I never got him, but some are claiming to have shot tires out, and then finishing him. He dies in any case. Reward: Respect earned; OG Loc opens as a boss. 2. *Running Dog* (555IVd2) Difficulty: 1/10 Easy stuff. Drive to the pickup location and watch the cutscene. Super- sprint by tapping the X button and take out the Vago with one or two shotgun blasts. If you can't do this mission, you need more Stamina. Get it by riding the bike or treadmill at the gym. Reward: Respect earned. 3. *Wrong Side of the Tracks* (555IVd3) Difficulty: 5/10 Hey, finally, a decently hard mission. And it's only hard because Smoke shoots like he's have an epileptic seizure. The driving isn't too hard, but you really just have to hope that Smoke hits something. Start by driving to the station and hopping on the Sanchez. Go as fast as you can to catch up to the train and let Smoke pump lead into them. Early on, there's a car on the tracks. Get past the car before the train hits it to make sure that you lose no speed at all. When Smoke says take the high road, take it, and stay on it until the tunnel. Smoke seems to hit more from that point. If you can't get them by the time they hit north Red County, they've escaped, and you have to restart (you can't trip skip this one either ; ;). If you do get them, drive Smoke back to his house and celebrate a long victory. This mission sucks. Q: Where do I ride the Sanchez so Smoke can hit? A: MC Face from the SA Forums was awesome enough to make this image: http://img18.exs.cx/img18/6608/trainpasss2.jpg -- There ya go. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alternate Strategy -- Ride The Train When Smoke says take the high road, FLOOR IT. When you hit the ramp, turn the bike sharply and land on top of the train. Ride to the Vagos and do a forward drive-by on them. It's hard to do at first, but it's probably easier than dealing with Smoke's shooting. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- JC has this speedy strategy: I ran to the parking garage in East Beach (1 block north of the Arena, halfway down the East-West side street - it is several stories tall, and distinctive because it features semi-circular ramps between the levels that stick out towards the street), and picked up a NRG-500. There are ALWAYS two of these in this garage - one on the second floor, and one on the very top. With the NRG, this job was easy! I parked it right near the red start marker, and after the cutscene it was still there. Smoke and I hoped on and took off down the tracks. We easily outran the train to the first bend, where there is a raised platform to the left. We rode up on that, hoped off, and started shooting as the train went by. After that we jumped back on the bike and repeated all the way out to the country until the job was done. The trick is that the bike is so fast that you have plenty of time to get ahead, set up, and blast them as they go past. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Orangemouse has another: Once you reach the tracks get on the bike quick as you can, drive past the train and the bend on the track. You will see a bridge coming up, before the car on the track comes up. Get off your bike and walk up the bridge and you should be level with the train coming towards you. You can leave Smoke behind for this bit and after this is complete you can go back and pick him up. When the train's in front of you, jump on it and start shooting the guys. Don't worry about your health too much because the guys on the train barely take any health off you. After you kill them all, jump off the train and run/drive back and pick Smoke up. He'll tell you to drop him back to his house. After dropping him, the mission is complete. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reward: Respect earned. 4. *Just Business* (555IVd4) Difficulty: 5/10 Oh wow, this mission is so ridiculously fun that I had a small orgasm in my pants. It starts off slow with a fight inside. If you've found an AK or M4 in hidden spots in Los Santos, pick them off with two shot bursts. If not, use your SMG, but make sure not to run out of ammo. Pick up the MP5s that the Ruskies drop and grab the armor behind a pillar. Meet up with Smoke and head outside for more gunnin' and runnin'. Just target, kill, retarget, and repeat until everyone is dead. Pick up as much money and ammo as you can and start the FUN part of the mission. You're on the back of the bike, and stay facing that way. The main targets for this whole section are the motorcycles. Take out the driver first, and everything else falls. But really, just make sure that every cycle falls down fast, since they can do some major damage. The Packer is indestructible; don't deal with it. When you hit the road block, just spray the people down, or if you're a true gunman, hit the gas tank of one of the cars to start a chain reaction. The true challenge is in the LS River (the aqueducts). Take down every motorcycle and car gunman as soon as you see them! Two of the most stunning cinematics come down here, and this is where you'll need new underwear. After the jump, shoot out the sewer gates or all of your work will be for nothing. Shoot the explosive barrels to take out the last motorcycles and finally take a deep breath. It's over. Reward: More respect earned. ############################################################################## E. Jefferey "OG LOC" Martin, I HOPE WE KILL HIM LATER (555IVe) 1. *Life's a Beach* (Must start between 20:00 and 6:00) (555IVe1) Difficulty: 2/10 These are some of the worst missions in the game. Seriously. The voice actor of OG Loc (Jas Anderson) does an excellent job of really making you hate this guy. The first mission for Jeff (I'm not calling him OG. Get used to Jeff) involves driving to a beach, playing some Amplitude, stealing a van, and driving it to a lockup. That's the whole thing. Q: How do I start dancing? The DJ talks but I can't do anything. A: Hit right on the D-Pad to give a positive response. Keep hitting this until she finally lets you dance. Now stop e-mailing me. Q: Hlep!!!!!!I mean, Help!!! Welp! Raroo! A: I can't come dance for you. This is up to you to learn how to beat. Reward: Respect earned; Dancing now available whenever. 2. *Madd Dogg's Rhymes* (555IVe2) Difficulty: 3/10 This is your introduction to stealth missions. I'd give a strategy, but really, this is a tutorial, and the game tells you what to do. The only thing I have to say is to not bother sneaking out. Just take an MP5 or whatever and blast out. There's a body armor pickup in the building, so just pick that up and let loose. Head back to the Burger Shot to complete the mission. Reward: Respect earned; Tenpenny opens up as a boss. 3. *Management Issues* (Must start between 12:00 and 17:00) (555IVe3) Difficulty: 3/10 Drive QUICKLY to the Burger Shot so you can take the car before it has a chance to get anywhere. I grabbed it at the stop light and just jacked it. If not, you'll have to ram him out of the vehicle and head to a Pay N' Spray. Get to the rendezvous by 22:00 in perfect condition to continue. Park the car and follow the motorcade to pick up the manager. Floor the car and head down to the pier. Get some speed and bail out as the car flies into the ocean. Grab the bike and head to the Burger Shot for a cut scene. Reward: Respect earned. 4. *House Party* (555IVe4) Difficulty: 3.5/10 After the cut scene, head back to Grove Street to save and whatnot. You don't HAVE to get a hair cut and a change of clothes; I certainly didn't. My CJ is bling'd >_>. Get to the OG on the map by 20:00 to get a call from Jeff about his party. Head to the blip for a cut scene. Oh nohs! The Ballas are attacking. Take your SMG, get behind cover, and start auto-targeting and firing. The second wave is up on the bridge. If you have an assault rifle, just target, if not, use manual aim. The final wave has Ballas from all sides. Just target anyone with an arrow over their head and protect Sweet. If Sweet dies, you fail. Body armor helps immensely here, as it does in most missions. Reward: Respect earned. ############################################################################## F. OFFICER FRANK TENPENNY, IT'S SAMUEL ****IN' JACKSON (555IVf) 1. *Burning Desires* (555IVf1) Difficulty: 4/10 Woo. Time to play with fire. Head to the molotov pickup in the alley and then head over to the house. Start on the door to the left and work your way around so that the last window you throw through is right by the front door. Ignore the gang members shooting you if you have body armor and just line your cocktails up. They'll break the windows, so you don't have to shoot them. Make sure that you don't burn yourself, as it takes away some 30 or 40 health for each one. Once all five windows are on fire, run inside to rescue the girl. Walk around the fires into the kitchen to find a fire extinguisher. Hit L1 to pick it up and head to the back-left of the house and head up the stairs. Once in her room, you'll have to start fighting fires by hitting R1 and holding down circle to the base of the fire. There are about ten fires you need to put out on your path to back to the door. Once outside, get in the lowrider and head back to Grove St., where you can drop Denise off. Reward: Denise is now your girlfriend. How girlfriends work: Hunt around town for some flowers and pick them up with L1. Head to Denise's house and hand her the flowers. This starts the date off nicely. Make sure you have a nice car for her and she'll get in and say where to go. Take her on her date, doing whatever you have to do to keep her happy. Afterwards, take her home and try to give her a kiss by walking up close and hitting L1. Getting 100% on your date meter gives you a pimp suit, and you can add to your "Times Laid" total on the Misc. stats page :D. Sweet also calls after this mission, but you should finish up with Officer Tenpenny anyway. 2. *Gray Imports* (555IVf2) Difficulty: 4.5/10 This mission is far easier if you've wandered around town to pick up an AK or M4, and brought it up to Gangster or better in skill. I had a Gangster in AK when I did this and 180 shots with it. You WILL need a rifle to do this, or you'll need a prayer instead. Start by driving to the blip, then after the cutscene, drive around back. Hop on your car and then over the fence. This is a good thing, as even though you probably won't be able to get total stealth kills, you can at least take them out without taking a bunch of damage. Walk all the way around hitting R1 to target people and take them out fast. Towards the warehouse is a set of blocks with armor on it. Grab the armor and watch the two forklifts drive to you. Manually blow up the crates there to set off a nice chain reaction that'll alert the attention of the people in the warehouse. As they run out, pick them off. Head inside and just target, shoot, and move until everyone is dead. Grab the cash/ammo they drop, as well as the AK under the stairs and get to the office up top. There are armor/health pickups along the way, which is why I put low difficulty. You get two lives basically. Once the Russian arms dealer starts to run. Follow him close. Here are some ways to kill him, since I did the mission a few times. Hard: Let him go into the car and follow him on the PCJ, doing drive-bys until he explodes. Medium: Shoot him a LOT before he ever makes it to the car. He has a ton of health, but some AK shots to the head drop him in a few seconds, and a shotgun does a pretty nice job too. Easy as pie: Follow him, don't even bother shooting. When he runs to the Banshee, get in and back over him. Tada, mission passed and all the Ruskies are gone. I fell over laughing that I didn't figure that out the first time, but now you can revel in my genius. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mack Morely has this suggestion: When you get to the back room of the warehouse, do NOT go in the room. Kill the two Ballas from the doorway and go to the left of the door. If you stand against the wall to the left of the door, you can see at least a part of the arms dealer. Just shoot whatever part of him you can see until he's dead. He won't even move if you don't enter the back room. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reward: Not a dilly-damn thing, except Sweet called me afterwards and said that Ammunation was open. So check that out. ############################################################################### G. Sean "SWEET" Johnson, THE RETURN (Part II) (555IVg) 1. *Doberman* (555IVg1) Difficulty: 3/10 This is your tutorial to gang warfare. Start by heading into Ammunation and picking up some armor, maybe a shotgun and an SMG. Whatever you like, but head to the Ballas turf in Glen Park next. Find a group of 3+ Ballas and blow them away. A turf war has now started, here's how it works for THIS mission. Three waves of lightly clad Ballas attack and you can kill them without even flinching. Target, shoot, target, shoot, repeat, repeat, repeat. When they're all dead, track down the bad homie on the radar and waste him however you like. Reward: Respect earned. 2. *Los Sepulcos* (Must be started between 9:00 and 17:00) (555IVg2) Difficulty: 4/10 Sweet wants revenge on the Ballas, and they're all going to be at a big funeral in Vinewood. One of the biggest names in the Ballas, Kane, is going to be there out pretty much in the open. You have four minutes (very generous) to get to the cemetery. Once you get there, follow the instructions given to you, and head STRAIGHT for Kane. Ignore all other Ballas. If you have body armor, you win. Run to Kane, let your homies take care of the rest. Pump Kane full of AK/Shotgun lead, and finish off the rest of the Ballas. Get in Sweet's car and drive home. You have a two-star wanted level, so one cop might follow you. Not a problem; it goes away after the mission completion. Reward: Mas respeto. 3. *Reuniting the Families* (555IVg3) Difficulty: 5/10 To do this mission, the following six must be completed: Sweet's Los Sepulcos; Ryder's Robbing Uncle Sam; Cesar's High Stakes, Lowrider; OG Loc's House Party; Big Smoke's Just Business; and Tenpenny's Gray Imports. If any of those six are NOT completed, this mission will not appear. You also need some respect (i.e. taken over territories) to get this. There are so many parts to this mission it's ridiculous. But man, it's a lot of fun. Part 1: Drive the Grove to the motel and watch the police ambush. Start targeting all the SWAT you see. The higher your AK/SMG stat, the easier this mission is. Hitman makes this far easier than it should be. You can skip this part if you want, but I suggest it for the money and ammo. Part 2: Inside the motel. When you enter the hotel, there is a vending machine that dispenses health soda. The game tells you this, so it's not really a secret everyone. This is just a room-by-room sweep of the motel. See SWAT, target SWAT, blow SWAT's face away. They will drop from the ceiling, roll in front of you, and hide behind boxes. Spam R1 like your life depends on it (CJ's does). Head up the stairs and through the hallways until you meet Sweet. Part 3: Chopper attack. When you get to the roof, a chopper with four SWAT firing from it appears. Kill the SWAT, then manually aim at the chopper to take it down. I think it's just constant fire, since I couldn't find a fuel line or a way to shoot the pilot. Steven G says: There is a blue arrow pointing at the rotating blade just below the main rotor. Shoot there a few times to take it down. Part 4: Escape. Follow Sweet and get in the car with Ryder and Smoke. This is the most annoying part of the mission since you have to destroy the police cars; you can't get the driver. You have infinite ammo, use it. Try to set off chain reactions by blowing one car into another and saving yourself some heartache. Keep the cops off until Smoke goes through a car wash and the AK jams. You've won at this point, but watch the awesome cutscenes and celebrate. You're one mission away from getting out of Los Santos. Oh, and keep an eye on the billboard before and after you go through it. Reward: Respect earned. 4. *Green Sabre* (555IVg4) Difficulty: 4/10 This is the final mission for Los Santos. Completing this mission removes all of your guns and turns LS into a festering pile of crap. Finish every- thing you want to do in LS before doing this mission. Sweet is planning to roll on the Ballas. Before you get a chance to go, Cesar calls and begs you to come see what he has to show you. Drive to the blip where Cesar is and watch Smoke, Ryder, and Officer Tenpenny show their betrayal to the Grove. Once the scene is over, Sweet's health bar appears under the HUD. It starts dropping really quickly, so pause to the map and plan your route out. Once you get there, start blowing Ballas away. If you've got hitman in AK or at least SMG, this is pretty damn easy. Do the tried and true, "target, shoot, target, shoot, repeat" strategy, this time mainly going for cars. Once the last Balla dies, the screen goes black and you find yourself in the back of Tenpenny's car. You're now in the middle of nowhere, the Badlands, Angel Pine. Reward: Respect earned. ******************************************************************************* V. *The Badlands Walkthrough* (555V) The Badlands is a very large area. If you have the cash, I suggest you buy as many save points as you can afford before doing some of the missions. A. OFFICER FRANK TENPENNY, I STILL LOVE YOU SAMMY (555Va) 1. *Badlands* (555Va1) Difficulty: 3/10 Fairly easy mission. Pick up some Body Armor and an SMG from the Ammunation nearby, or hunt behind the trailer parks for a Tec9. Head up the mountain on a Sanchez until you get near the cabin. There are quite a few ways to do this. You can sneak up behind the cabin and kill the guy right as he runs out, then wipe out the feds and take a picture. You can chase him down and drive-by him until he gets out. You can blow up his car before he gets in it. Do whatever you like; the only thing you can't do is blow him up in his car, since you need a photo of his body, not his ashes. Head back to the trailer park to end this mission and get a phone call from Cesar. His cousin Catalina is staying in Dillimore, and you should head over. Edit: Apparently you CAN blow up the car. The body just hangs out the window and you photograph it. Reward: Respect earned; Catalina opens as a boss. ############################################################################### B. CATALINA, IT'S THE BITCH FROM GTA3 PART I (555Vb) 1. *First Date* (555Vb1) Catalina, the ? on the map, is robbing a diner when you walk in. The whole mission is just the cutscene of you meeting her and a description of what you have to do. There are four robberies you commit with Catalina: the gas station in Dillimore, the OTB in Montgomery, the liquor store in Blueberry, and the bank in Palomino Creek. You can do them in any order. 2. *Tanker Commander* (555Vb2) Difficulty: 2/10 You don't HAVE to do this first, but it's right there, and it's fairly simple. Nearly everyone does this as their first robbery, and I did too. Head over to the gas station and follow the ingame instruction. Make sure that the cab is backed perfectly in. Being off a little won't attach it. When you start to pull away, the gas attendants follow. Ignore them. They will crash, or flip, or fly into the water if you just drive safely. Use the pause menu map to plan a route and just drive slowly and steadily. No insane stunts or hairpin turns. If the cab detaches, you fail. Park in the blip and watch the attendants run into the gas tanks. Teehee. Reward: $5000, RS Haul Tanker missions open up. ############################################################################### C. THE TRUTH, HIPPIE EXTRAORDINARE PART I (555Vc) 1. *Body Harvest* (555Vc1) Difficulty: 2/10 The cutscene for this is awesome just because seeing Tenpenny stoned out of his mind kicks ass. Tenpenny wants The Truth to give him some more weed, so you have to do The Truth a favor. Drive to "The Farm". Drive around back, break through the fence, and take the harvester. There are two ways to get out of The Farm. The first is to just take the combine harvester and use it as a body harvester, but take more damage and possibly explode, or to drive forward to each group of hicks, step out, own with SMG fire, then get back in. Either way works, and either way you get to drive to The Truth's farm. The harvest has front wheel drive, so steering is a little screwy. Go slow, don't try any stupid crap, and park it in the garage. Cesar calls afterwards and needs you to talk to him. Reward: Respect earned. ############################################################################### D. CESAR VIALPANDO, OH BOY A CUT SCENE PART I (555Vd) 1. *King in Exile* (555Vd1) It's just a cut scene back in Angel Pine between Kendl and Cesar about Smoke's betrayal. Catalina calls after this, however, so let's go back to her. ############################################################################### E. CATALINA, FIRY MEXICAN PASSION PART II (555Ve) 1. *First Base* (555Ve1) This is the cut scene you get for your second meeting with Catalina. You get to go out robbing again. Remember, you can do these robberies in any order. 2. *Against All Odds* (555Ve2) Difficulty: 3/10 This is surprisingly easy as well. Drive to Montgomery and enter the ITB betting place. When the alarm goes off, you get a two-star wanted level. Ignore it. Place a remote explosive on the door and blow it off, then put one on the safe and blow it off. When you step out, you now have a four- star wanted level. It's a special four-star level, since for some reason, there are almost no SWAT units. Head to the Pay N' Spray in Dillimore to remove the rating, then back to Catalina's cabin. Reward: $2000, Cesar calls and opens up for street racing. 3. *Gone Courting* (555Ve3) This is the cut scene you get for your third meeting with Catalina. 4. *Small Town Bank* (555Ve4) Difficulty: 4/10 Head to the bank in Palomino Creek for this mission. Don't bother trying to keep the hands of the people up. No matter what, one of their hands will go down. You have a three-star wanted level once the alarm is hit. When Catalina starts yelling at you (surprise!), bash open all three ATM machines and follow her outside. Catalina can't shoot well at all, so stay slightly in front and shoot all of the cops that are on the roofs, sides, behind crates, etc. Once they're dead, two motorcycle cops pull in. Take them out and get on the bikes. Try to follow Catalina, but don't worry if you can't. She eventually gets knocked off her bike and is trapped by the cops. On the way to her, pick up the police bribe. Kill all of the redneck cops around Catalina and take one of the Ranchers back to her hideout. Reward: $10000 5. *Made in Heaven* (555Ve5) This is the last cutscene for the robberies with Catalina. 6. *Local Liquor Store* (555Ve6) Difficulty: 5/10 I hated this mission. It's not really that hard, just annoying. Head to the liquor store in Blueberry and watch the quadbikers rob the store before you can. You get to follow them in a chase! Catalina still can't shoot for her life, so shoot them down yourself if you can. You can forward drive-by on a quad, so get right behind a bike and kill the guy. The quad handles like CRAP on roads, so stay off road! It doesn't handle well at all really, but stay off the roads as much as possible, making note not to miss any bridges. Whenever you kill a quadbiker, he drops a briefcase. Ignore it unless you can pick it up while still moving forward. Kill all three of them, retrieve the cases, and head back to the hideout. We're finally done with Catalina's nonsense. Also, since so many people wanted this obvious trick added, you can just park a Sanchez or something outside of the store and grab that instead of the stupid quad bike. Reward: $1000, and a sigh of relief. ############################################################################### F. CESAR VIALPANDO, OH BOY STREET RACES PART II (555Vf) 1. *Wu Zi Mu* (555Vf1) Difficulty: 2/10 I put this race as very easy since you can use whatever vehicle you want. You can do this a few ways. Take an SUV, like a Rancher for a mix of off and on-road speed, take a Sanchez for off-road mastery, take a Buffalo for on-road speed, or do what I did: Take a Linerunner or Tanker. These huge things can pick up a ton of speed and bang the other cars into the rivers, making this race pathetically easy. Make sure to go around the barn jump if you have one of these though. You can't fit under the barns. Edit: Some people have complained that you can't use a Sanchez. I was able to, but as I understand it, your vehicle needs to have at least four wheels. Guess I got lucky with a glitch. Reward: $5000 2. *Farewell, My Love...* (555Vf2) Difficulty: 4.5/10 Hey, everyone! It's the GTA3 guy! And his name is Claude! Everyone say "Hi GTA3 guy! Fido was a cooler name than Claude anyway!" Francis Santos-Viola has this spiffy info: You mentioned that the GTA3 guy's name is Claude. His full name is Claude Speed, and he is, in fact, also the GTA2 guy. Rockstar made a little movie about him at this link: http://www.rockstargames.com/gta2/downloads/movie.html This one is quite a bit harder, since the course is harder to beat going backwards than forwards, since you can't get an early lead very easily. Try not to cut corners, since the ZR-350 doesn't go off-road well. Also, there is no barn jump. Go around instead of crashing into a wall of hay like I did. Get some speed and a good lead when you finally get some straightaways and make sure not to flip into the ocean. A good trick for this is to get first up until a bridge, then park at the entrance to the bridge, covering the whole thing. The other drivers will swerve into the river most of the time, or run into you and lose momentum at least. Reward: Property in San Fierro. Thanks to Bob Smith for some tips on these two races. ############################################################################### G. THE TRUTH, IT'S LIKE, A MISSION, MAN, WHOA PART II (555Vg) 1. *Are You Going to San Fierro?* (555Vg1) Difficulty: 2/10 Yes, in fact we are going to San Fierro after this. Once you've done all the other missions, The Truth calls, and you now have his payment for all of the weed. Unfortunately, the cops have spotted the fields and you have to burn them all with your handy Flamethrower. Stand in the middle of a few patches and spray from side to side. Repeat this for all the rows, and you should have about two minutes to spare when you get to the van. The Truth hands you a rocket launcher with ten shots and tells you to shoot the chopper down. Do it fast! The chopper hovers for a second right as you get the RPG, take it down in one shot. You get to keep all the rockets you don't use. After the chopper hits the ground, get in the "Mothership" and drive to San Fierro, enjoying The Truth's commentary. Reward: Respect earned, missions begin in San Fierro. BONUS POINT by John Doe: After you shoot the chopper down, get into the Mothership and then out of it. You can now commit crimes, such as going to Las Venturas or Area 69 with no penalties except for a slight hit to your meaningless criminal ranking. ******************************************************************************* VI. *San Fierro Walkthrough* (555VI) Ah, beautiful San Fran--Fierro. Finally, a new city. A. CARL JOHNSON, THE RUN-DOWN GARAGE OF LAME (555VIa) 1. *Wear Flowers in Your Hair* (555VIa1) Difficulty: 1/10 This is your intro to San Fierro. Drive to the gas station to meet Jethro, the hospital to watch a cut scene, the hot dog stand to meet Dwaine, the police station to watch a cut scene, and finally, Zero's to talk to him. Head back to the garage. Just take your time, enjoy the sites, and don't flip your ride. Reward: Nada, Zero calls and says you can come buy his shop for $30000. 2. *555 We Tip* (555VIa2) Difficulty: 2/10 This is a Tenpenny mission, but I don't feel like adding a whole new section for this thing. Drive downtown to the Vank Hoff (harhar) Hotel, and follow the valet's car. When he gets out of the car, kill him however you like, making sure that no one sees you. Take the uniform and head back to the front of the hotel. Wait for the DA to arrive, ignoring all cars before his. You have four minutes to head to the garage. You can hit cars on this trip, just don't get a wanted level. Get to the garage, then get back Downtown on the same timer, this time making sure not to get a scratch on the car. Park the car, run outside, and watch the cutscene. Reward: You can now do the Valet side mission. 3. *Deconstruction* (555VIa3) Difficulty: 2/10 The timer for this starts as soon as you hit the first portable. Steal a Dozer, preferably from the guy driving one, since he gets annoying if you don't kick him out. Get some speed and ram all of the portables, making note not to run into the explosive barrels. Keep your speed up to make sure you don't get pulled out. You can also use the huge crane in the middle of the site if you feel like being risque. After they're all destroyed, the timer is removed and you can go on to part two. Take the Dozer and push the porta-potty into the ditch. Then get in a cement truck and back the Dozer STRAIGHT into the blip. It has to be straight. It can't be even a little off, and it has to be backwards. Fill the hole to complete the last mission for the garage. Reward: Nothing. Jethro calls and opens up Driving School for you. ############################################################################## B. BIG SMOKE'S COURIERS, DUMBEST MISSIONS EVER (555VIb) These are *NOT* required for 100%! It's been confirmed by a few people now. They are also not needed for storyline completion! I have this section here just because people ask so many questions about them. 1. *Big Smoke's Cash* (555VIb1) Difficulty: 2/10 Every Monday and Friday in game time, Cesar calls saying that the cash is leaving Los Santos. He's carrying six packages, ram the Patriot to get up to six packages. Destroy the Patriot to end the mission and complete it. You have until it reaches Pier 69 of San Fierro. Reward: The cash from the pickups. 2. *Yay Courier* (555VIb2) Difficulty: 2/10 Every Wednesday and Saturday in game time, Cesar calls saying that the yay is leaving San Fierro. He's on a Sanchez, so get one yourself to follow him without losing traction. Kill him fast, since putting a hole in his backpack makes you receive less money. Kill him to end the mission. Reward: Cash for turning in the yay. These missions must be completed before the ten Syndicate Missions are completed, the last being Yay Ka-Boom Boom. Cesar will stop calling after that point. ############################################################################## C. SYNDICATE MISSIONS, TOO MANY DIFFERENT PEOPLE FOR SEPARATE SECTIONS (555VIc) 1. *Photo Opportunity* (555VIc1) Difficulty: 2/10 This is just a simple, "Let's drive long distances in crappy cars!" mission. Head out to southwest Blueberry and pick up Cesar, listening to what he has to say. Head down to Angel Pine, where we just spent half of our last missions. Get up on the roof and get ready to take some pictures. Picture 1: Ryder, as he steps out of his truck. Picture 2: T-Bone Mendez, as he steps out of his car. Picture 3: Dude in a suit, as he steps out of his brown sedan. Picture 4: Jizzy B, just as he steps out of his Broadway. Make sure you get a picture of their faces. A side shot does not count, and missing one shot fails you. Take the shots and head back to the garage in San Fierro. Whee. Reward: Respect earned. 2. *Mission: Jizzy* (555VIc2) Difficulty: 3/10 A step up from the last one, this is "Drive a car and kill things too." First, drop Jizzy's girl off at the hotel downtown, then head over to Hashbury (the two minutes is very kind), and kill the pimp. Next, head underneath the overpass in Doherty and kill the two guys beating up Jizzy's girl; the health bar is also very kind. Finally, head back to Downtown to find a priest and his protection assisting the whore off the streets. Concentrate on the limo and let it catch fire. Once it explodes, the protection will stop and get out. Run them down or shoot them. You get a two-star wanted level AFTER the mission, so head out and save. Reward: $3000; Respect earned. Woozie calls and opens for business. Stick to the Syndicate for now. 3. *T-Bone Mendez* (555VIc3) Difficulty: 3/10 Head over to the vehicle and get on the PCJ. Pick a thief and follow him. You can either drive-by him and kill him, or just get right behind the bike and take the package off with L1. If you do the latter, the thief will pursue and shoot you for a while until he gets bored, or something. After five minutes, the thieves will start making a run for their rendezvous points. Take them down before they get there, but you should have plenty of times. Once you get all the packages, head back to the Pleasure Dome. Reward: $5000; respect earned. 4. *Mike Toreno* (555VIc4) Difficulty: 5/10 This mission sucks because there are so many ways to fail. You start with a 5:30 time limit and you have to do a whole lot, and do a lot of different things. Start by getting in the car and driving to the construction site behind your garage in Doherty. Oh no, wrong spot. Go through the site and down onto the road below, cutting across the railroad tracks and some grass. Head into the docks area and then...wrong spot. Head all the way over to the Easter Bay Airport. The game confirms for you that this is indeed the final spot. Once you get there, a signal meter starts to come on. Usually the van is on the far runway, but watch the road and don't fly into the ocean like I did the first time. Once the van is located, the timer goes away and you can go to work. Drive-by and ram the van until it smokes. Do not let it explode! Mike is in the van and if he dies, you fail! Let the van come to a stop, then drive away a bit and pick off all of the goons. Watch the cutscene with Toreno, then blow up the van, preferably with a shotgun or something that'll do it fast without wasting ammo. Get in the Stretch and leave the airport. As soon as you get out of the airport, you get a three-star wanted level. Hit pause and plan your route. Don't get caught on the lower freeway, since you'll have no way to get to a Pay-and-Spray. Once you spray the limo, just drive back to the Pleasure Domes. No one is allowed to die in this mission. If Jizzy, T-Bone, or Mike dies, you fail. I think I let everyone die at least once before everything finally came together. Edit: You can also just drive straight to the airport. The signal meter will show up and all is well. It kind of cuts off all the dialogue, but it saves a lot of time. Reward: $7000; respect earned. 5. *Outrider* (555VIc5) Difficulty: 4/10 You get a call from Jizzy when you step into the circle at your garage. He needs you to run some support for a business associate. Get to the car by the Xoomer station, then head to the van. Grab the Sniper Rifle and Rocket Launcher and get on the Sanchez. Floor it to the first road block, getting as much time between you and the van as you can. Every second helps. The first roadblock can be taken out with just two rockets. Fire them at the closest end of the cars and move on, making sure not to catch your bike on fire. At the second roadblock, fire a couple of rockets and snipe the rest down. Take an assault rifle or SMG and pick off the snipers from the windows. The third roadblock is just the same, but by now the van should be starting to catch up. At the fourth roadblock, clear it and wait for the van to show up. Escort it to the compound to complete the mission. You get stuck with a three-star wanted level afterwards, so go save. Reward: $9000; respect earned; you get to keep the weapons. 6. *Snail Trail* (555VIc6) Difficulty: 2/10 I gave it a two just because it's so hard to not get antsy and blow your cover. This mission takes so much longer than it needs to. First, pick up the sniper rifle and head to the Sanchez parked out by the station. When you get towards the train, it speeds off. You can't catch the guy in it yet, so don't try. Follow the train all the way to frickin' Los Santos, and let him get out of the train. Follow him slowly to his cab, and then follow him even more slowly to the docks. He's really easy to follow, just don't be impatient. When he finally gets to the docks, park as close as you can without being too close, and snipe the first guy. The second guy will run around like an idiot, so don't try sniping him. Run up to him and blow him away. Reward: Not a damn thing, and you get to drive all the way back to San Fierro! Oh boy! Screw you Tenpenny. 7. *Ice Cold Killa* (555VIc7) Difficulty: 2/10 Whee, another easy one. Drive to the club, and do what everyone and their grandmother has e-mailed me about. Shoot the tires out on the parked Broadway. You'll see why later. Step into the blip and watch the short little bit, and follow the instructions. Climb up the scaffolding, on to the roof, and into the Pleasure Domes. Walk around or just jump down and you'll watch the cutscene with Jizzy. After that, run like hell, since everyone is shooting at you. Get out the door and watch Jizzy run to the Broadway...which has no tires. If you still have the rocket launcher from a while ago, use it. If not, get in the Stretch and start ramming the car, which doesn't go very far. Do drive- bys, whatever. When Jizzy gets out, kill him and take the phone. Reward: $12000 + Respect earned. 8. *Pier 69* (555VIc8) Difficulty: 3/10 Here's what it takes to beat this mission: The ability to hit R1 and L1, or maybe Circle, depending on what you prefer. I like the new L1 fire. Head over to the pier and meet Cesar. Run up the stairs and grab the Sniper Rifle. Pick off the guards with like seven total shots, saving your ammo. After the cutscene, pick off as many as you can see from the roof, then run back down the stairs. Use the tried and true R1+L1+Repeat strategy while moving up the pier, wiping out everything. Get a good view of T-Bone, pull out the Sniper Rifle, and blow a hole through his head, and then shoot him again when he's down for good measure. After he dies, watch Ryder flee into the ocean. Dive in after him and tap X in the water to sprint-swim. You can't catch him yet, but get to the boat and follow him. Pull up along side of him and match his speed, then let loose with a hail of drive-by. When his boat catches fire, steer away. When the boat explodes, you win. You can also do what I did and jump onto his boat, then cut off his head with a Katana and scream out a warcry. Edit: You can also just snipe Ryder. A lot of people did it that way. Make sure to stay away from the giant tanker in the docks. For some reason you get an instant FIVE stars for going near it. Get to shore without going within the bounds of that tanker. Reward: $15000 + Respect earned. 9. *Toreno's Last Flight* (555VIc9) Difficulty: 3/10 Kay, so like totally drive to the helipad and run over all the dudes that are like shooting at you, right? Then kill the rest and run up to the helicopter, but *shocker* it gets away. Grab the rocket launcher, get on the PCJ and haul ass onto the freeway to catch the chopper. Just follow it for now. Let it get to the countryside, and it'll stop and face you while hovering for a few seconds. Take one well aimed rocket and blow it out of the sky. You can take it down earlier, but you better have good aim. You only get five rockets. When the chopper goes down, you win the mission. Reward: $18000 + Respect earned. There is one more Syndicate mission, but we have to go see Wu Zi Mu first. ############################################################################## D. WU ZI MU, HEY GUYS HE'S BLIND NO REALLY I SWEAR -- BLIND (555VId) 1. *Mountain Cloud Boys* (555VId1) Difficulty: 2/10 Did I mention that Woozie is blind? Yea. He's blind. They run that fact into the ground during these missions, so get used to it. Get in a car and head around the block and watch Woozie run into walls and all sorts of random crap. (It's because he's blind.) When the Da Nang start attacking, just use the same old R1+L1+Repeat strategy to take them all down, taking note of the sniper on the roof of the last end. Get in the car at the end and have Woozie start doing drive-bys. Since he takes too damn long to blow the cars up, help him out with your own drive-by. Once they blow up, head back to Woozie's place for a reward. He's blind. Reward: $5000 + Respect earned + cheap laughs at a blind guy. 2. *Ran Fa Li* (555VId2) Difficulty: 3/10 Wow, some of the names they mention in this line of missions are pretty funny. Anyway, head to the parking garage in the airport and grab everyone's favorite car, the Manana. It's been one of the worst cars since GTA3, and it still stands as such. Oh, it's an ambush. What ever shall we do? Go through whatever ambushes you see and get on the main road from the airport. Hang a right and follow the road along the eastern side of San Fierro. Tip: Get out of the car and kill the guys on the bikes before you even start going. With them out of the picture, the damage meter won't be a problem at all. Park the car and claim your reward. Reward: $6000 + Respect earned. 3. *Lure* (555VId3) Difficulty: 3/10 This is just a whole lot of driving and not a lot of fun. You get to drive out to the wilderness and do a checkpoint race against idiotic opponents. Start the checkpoint bit by doing a quick drive-by on each of the motor- cycles. You can't kill the driver, but you can take out the gunman, making the damage meter again, not a problem. Just drive safely, and if you feel like having fun, try forcing the motorcyclists into the water. Just follow the path, making sure not to flip, and park out front of the 24/7. Watch the cutscene and trek back to San Fierro. Note: This is one of the few missions that uses the Trip Skip feature. If you fail the checkpoint section but make it to the Badlands at least, head back to San Fierro and restart the mission. Hit right on the D-pad and it will take you to the start of the checkpoints. A nice time saver. Reward: $8000 + Respect earned. 4. *Amphibious Assault* (555VId4) Difficulty: 3/10 You need 20% lung capacity to do this mission. Obtain more lung capacity by swimming underwater (this will take maybe 30 minutes of work) or by collecting hidden oysters throughout San Andreas (total of 50). He's still blind. Head to the docks and follow the instructions to get to the bay. Listen to the information about the guards and stay underwater as much as possible. If you have to come up for air, do not move. They won't detect you if you are stationary. Get to the tanker and swim under it, then pull yourself onto the dock. Pick up the knife and try to be stealthy if you like. If not, blast your way through. I got about halfway and got bored, so I just whipped out the AK and went to town. Plant the bug and get off the boat. Take note that the guards will still shoot at you, so don't do what I did and try to steal a boat. They're still manned with gunners and backup. Swim to shore to complete the mission. Reward: $11000 + Respect earned. 5. *The Da Nang Thang* (555VId5) Difficulty: 4/10 This mission will strip you of all of your weapons except a knife, so kiss them goodbye while you have the chance. The first part of this mission is pointless. I thought it was going to be a fun raid on the ship, but don't even bother firing. You'll get hit by an RPG no matter what and your helicopter crashes into the ocean. Swim to the pink blip and start the main part of the mission. Perform a stealth kill on the nearest Da Nang and take his shotgun. Try to be stealthy for now, since you don't have much ammo. Kill the three guards on top of the boxes, and head over to the second set. There will be armed guards watching as you come around the corner, so whip out the shotgun or a Tec9 and start firing. Take the guns and get ready to use the R1+L1+Repeat strategy. Check around some corners for a health pickup and fight your way through. Drop down the stairs and watch the quick cutscene. Before you start fighting, climb some boxes on the right to find some body armor and a weapon. Helpful stuff right there. Kill all of the guards while moving forward until you reach the container. Blow the padlock off (you can target it) and start heading back to the bridge. Follow the map and start heading to the cabin. There is one guard near the entrance and two on the following stairs. Take them out until you meet the Snakehead. He tosses you a Katana, and you can either fight him with honor, or just blow him away. With full muscle, it took me two hits to kill him with the sword. Whee. Head back to the Vietnamese refugees to complete the mission, and drive back home. Edit: Yes, you can go all the way back to Ammunation and buy guns and armor after you crash, but come on, is that really necessary? Reward: $15000 + Respect earned. ############################################################################### E. SYNDICATE MISSIONS II, LAST SAN FIERRO MISSION (555VIe) 1. *Yay Ka-Boom-Boom* (555VIe1) Difficulty: 3/10 So anti-climatic that it sickens me. Not even remotely difficult for a mission, much less the last San Fierro mission. Drive over to Downtown and pick up the car with the bomb in it and head over to the crack lab, which is right next to driving school. Do a drive-by on the two gate guards and watch the rest of the guards run out. Don't bother shooting them, just run them all over and head to the blip. Hit the ramp and drive into the crack lab, ignoring all the people there. They don't do anything. Park the car, get out, and again, ignore everyone. You have forty seconds to run out, you can run out in ten and take no damage and have no worries. To escape the compound, take out an AK (you can buy them at Ammunation now, if you didn't already know) and pop everyone in the head. Go all the way around, killing everyone as fast as you can, but with Hitman on an AK, it's not even close to a problem. When the front gate closes, get in the Voodoo. You can't hop park the car and hop over the fence, you HAVE to hit the ramp. Stupid, but whatever. Get some speed, hit the ramp, and drive home. That's the whole thing. Piff. Reward: $25000 + Respect earned. You get two cell phone calls after this. One is from the MYSTERY MAN!!! The other is from Cesar. You can do these missions in either order. If you want to get used to piloting, get your license, and do some annoying missions for the MYSTERY MAN!!! If you want to do some quick car-boosting missions for your homeboy Cesar, and unlock the ever-riveting Import/Export crane, go with him. Either way, it's up to you. I'm doing MYSTERY MAN!!! first. Oh, all of the Desert and Las Venturas is open now. Cool beans. ############################################################################## F. ZERO RC, I NOW HATE DAVID CROSS WITH A BURNING PASSION (555VIf) This is not a required strand of missions to complete the story. To start Zero's missions, buy his shop for $30,000 after completion of Wear Flowers in Your Hair. 1. *Air Raid* (555VIf1) Difficulty: 5/10 Five out of ten? Oh nohs! It's really not that bad if you have good aim. As you talk to Zero and realize how pathetic this guy is, you are suddenly attacked by Berkley's RC Barons and Goblins. Take the minigun (sweet), and start shooting! Do not let go of the trigger. The gun takes too long to wind up. Use the minimap to see what's coming and take the toys out just as they appear on your screen. Some of them will get past you, just make sure you minimize how many actually do. The last forty seconds are crazy, make sure you have at least 25% health left before this time. The toys come from all sides and you need to focus on an area and take them out, since it's impossible to get them all. If just one transmitter survives, you win. Sort of. You win the chance to go on to an even more horrible mission. Reward: $3000 2. *Supply Lines...* (555VIf2) Difficulty: 7/10 This is the first mission that I've seen a ton of people have problems with. It took me about five tries. It just takes patience. The key for this is to plan your route. There are five couriers: Target 1: A van right at the start. Shoot his van and he gets out, then rail him again to kill him. This should take no more than five seconds. Target 2: A bicycle just to the left. Turn around and get behind him. Fire until he gets off, then shoot him again. This shouldn't take very long either. Target 3: Another van down the street. This guy won't get out of the van when you shoot him, so get behind him at a steady speed and unload until he catches fire. You should have these first three down in about thirty seconds, and no more. You need all the fuel you can get now. Target 4: A Sanchez towards Downtown. This is your first difficult target, and it takes some practice. Get behind him at a steady speed and follow him as soon as you start shooting. You need to blow him up before he gets his speed up, or else you'll never see him again. It's all about timing and practice, and once he's gone, you should be free for this mission. Target 5: A third van northeast of the Sanchez. You should have about 50% fuel after target four, and if you do, you've got this made. Get behind this van as well, follow him for a bit, and then unload until the van catches fire. As soon as it does, start high tailing it back to Zero's. When you can see his pink blip on the roof, start decelerating and land somewhere near the spot. It doesn't have to be exact. I had about thirty seconds of fuel left when I finally got this mission down. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alternate Strategy by Deadly Samurai: The way I beat this mission with fuel to spare is to take off, cut left, and just shoot the van until the driver gets out. Don't kill him yet! Next, go left again to shoot the biker to make him get off the bike. Don't kill him either! Both of these guys will chase after you, so go west now and blow up the van. I find getting right up in front of him works best. Now wait. You do not burn fuel while idle, so position the plane on the street accordingly and just wait. The first two guys will come after you, and shoot them down as they appear on the street. You should still have a 95% full fuel tank at this point simply by being patient. This should be more than enough to go north after the last two guys and get back to Zero's roof. I got back with about a quarter tank of fuel left. You still need to position yourself correctly to kill the last two guys, but if you follow this strategy the pressure is off, and you won't be as frustrated even if you fail because one of the couriers kills you because this strategy is nearly foolproof. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reward: $5000 3. *New Model Army* (555VIf3) Difficulty: 4/10 Whee. Much easier than the last one. First thing first, get a feel for the controls. The Goblin handles like crap and you really need to get used to how it maneuvers. Next, mute the game. David Cross' voice is so annoying in these missions, it's disgusting. Next, pick up a bomb and head to a red blip on the map. It's a tank. Blow it up now before it becomes a problem later. Repeat for the other two. Ignore the helicopter. You can blow it up if you like, but it's not worth the hassle if you ask me. Now, take a plank to each of the two broken waterways and set it down in the middle so that it makes a bridge. You should have about 4:30 left at this point on the 8:00 timer. Move the barrels that block Zero's path until he gets to his destination in Berkley's territory. Tada, you're done with this douchebag for the rest of the game (I hope). Reward: $7000, Zero's RC becomes an asset that collects $5000 daily. ############################################################################## G. BACK TO SCHOOL, MORE LIKE DRIVING UNIVERSITY FOR THE GIFTED (555VIg) This is not a required strand of missions to complete the story. Located in Doherty and unlocked after Deconstruction. There are twelve challenges, you need bronze in each to complete this mission, and to get credit for 100%. Gold is NOT required, but fun to try for. If you're into masochism that is. The Hotknife is so worth it. 1. *The 360* (555VIg1) Difficulty: 1/10 Hold X and Square and press left. Easy. Get gold by getting back into your starting position and heading. 2. *The 180* (555VIg2) Difficulty: 2/10 Speed to the cone, hit R1 and wheel around it, then park. Get gold by parking perfectly straight, and doing this as fast as possible. 3. *Whip and Terminate* (555VIg3) Difficulty: 2/10 Hit square and powerslide the corner, then park. Get gold by parking perfectly straight, and doing this as fast possible. 4. *Pop and Control* (555VIg4) Difficulty: 2/10 This is a simple wave with a blown out right rear tire. Get gold by parking perfectly straight in the allotted time. 5. *Burn and Lap* (555VIg5) Difficulty: 4/10 Annoying. Do five laps of tight 180 turns without hitting a single cone the entire way through. Get gold by finishing in under 36 seconds. 6. *Cone Coil* (555VIg6) Difficulty: 3/10 This is a fun one. Speed around the cones, do a 180, then come back and park. Get gold by parking perfectly straight at the end. 7. *The 90* (555VIg7) Difficulty: 7/10 I got gold! The key is to not try to compensate for the spin at all. Hit just the handbrake and spin from the right side, landing the nose in first and letting the back follow its way in. It just takes some practice and a bit of notetaking to know when to start braking and when to slide. Good luck. Get gold by parking utterly ****ing perfectly. 8. *Wheelie Weave* (555VIg8) Difficulty: 4/10 Get near the ramp to go up on two wheels and stop in the circle. Get gold by parking in the center of the circle, facing straight. 9. *Spin and Go* (555VIg9) Difficulty: 4/10 Start by using R2 and L2 to look behind, then whip around without hitting any cones. The time limit isn't too bad, so don't go at full speed. Get gold by parking perfectly straight. 10. *P.I.T. Maneuver* (555VIg10) Difficulty: 3/10 Get to the side of the car and push its right rear tire to spin it out. Get gold by forming a perfect T with the target car, and touching the center of the car. 11. *Alley Oop* (555VIg11) Difficulty: 4/10 This one is awesome. Hit as close to the side of the ramp as you can without missing it. Force your control stick to the side you want to rotate and lay off the gas. Get gold by parking perfectly straight and making a perfect barrel roll. 12. *City Slicking* (555VIg12) Difficulty: 6/10 This one BLOWS. You have to speed down the streets, using the middle of the road the whole time. Make a right at the Burger Shot and make sure you slow down quickly at the turns. Go DIRECTLY through the checkpoint and work back. Get gold by taking no damage and finishing in under 100 seconds. Reward for all Bronze: Super GT parked outside. Reward for all Silver: Bullet Reward for all Gold: Hotknife, not found anywhere else in the game. You get a driving skill upgrade for every gold medal you get. It's kind of catch 22, since to get some of the golds, you have to have really high driving skill (cough, CITY SLICKING, cough), as well as a large upgrade just for completing it. ******************************************************************************* VII. *The Desert Walkthrough* (555VII) A. MYSTERY MAN!!!, OK, IT'S MIKE TORENO, ENOUGH OF THAT CRAP (555VIIa) 1. *Monster* (555VIIa1) Difficulty: 3/10 The Monster truck is really a fun ride and it's not really a hard challenge. Just use your minimap to keep an eye on where you're headed and watch the icons inside the checkpoints, as they will tell you where you're headed. If you're like me and use R1 for all your turning, DON'T here. The 4-wheel steering does funky things on turns, and takes them a lot different than a handbrake turn would. Stick to the regular brake. You can go over any hill or whatever, except for rocks. The big rocks in the ground will flip you like a pancake. You do not have to get first to complete this mission, simply break 6:30. 4:20 is the top time. Toreno calls after this and wants to talk to you back at the ranch Reward: $1000 for 5th, $2000 for 4th, $3000 for 3rd, $4000 for 2nd, $5000 for 1st. 2. *Highjack* (555VIIa2) Difficulty: 3/10 Damn, this is a fun mission. Haul ass onto the freeway, leaning forward on the bike to maximize your speed. The faster you catch up to the truck, the better. There IS a sort of time limit here, so be wary of it. If you enter Foster Valley before Cesar can overtake the truck, you're screwed. Line up Cesar to the cab of the truck and stay there for 5-10 seconds. When he starts to pull the driver out, stay there. It takes him a while to pull the driver out. Once Cesar takes him down, hop off the bike and get in the truck. Head back to the garage, taking note of where an exit is. The tanker can't do any fancy flips, as much as you'd like to. Reward: $7000 3. *Interdiction* (555VIIa3) Difficulty: 3.5/10 These multi-part missions get really old some times. Start off by driving to the El Castillo del Diablo, making sure to go across the river via a bridge or the Sherman Dam. Zoom into Las Brujas, take the rockets, and grab the Sanchez. Head up the mountain side and drive into the blip. You can't walk into it; I tried. Watch the cutscene and get ready to roll. Wait for the helicopters to stop momentarily before you fire. You can hit them while moving, but it's a lot harder to register a hit. Don't shoot straight up either, as a helicopter will land on you and screw you up badly. If you run out of ammo, there's a rocket launcher up there, and if you run out of health, there's a health icon up there as well, next to a parachute. In any case, take down all five choppers and start driving to the pickup. When you get there, look over into the sea. See the helicopter? Yea, take that. It's a Sea Sparrow (hit L1 for a minigun), and will get you there fast. Unfortunately, there's no way to save helicopters, only planes. Fly over to the dropoff, and then back to Toreno's cabin. Edit: Ok, fine fine fine. You can save helicopters after you do the next mission and somehow get the helicopter into the hangar safely and then somehow to pull it safely out without extensive damage. Blargh... Reward: $1000 4. *Verdant Meadows* (555VIIa4) Difficulty: A bajillion/10 Take the Sea Sparrow and fly it over to Verdant Meadows on your map. DO NOT FLY OVER THE RESTRICTED AREA. This is a No Fly Zone and they will blow you out of the sky with rockets and all sorts of crazy weaponry. Just go around and land the chopper. Buy Verdant Meadows, then head around back to the control tower and step in the red circle. Listen to the cell phone call, then save. Pilot school is Hell. Reward: -$80000, but Verdant Meadows is sweet. Oh, and Jethro finally called me about the street races at this point. ############################################################################## B. Learning to Fly (555VIIb) First person helps for basically all of these missions, but I have never used first person in GTA, so it just annoyed me. You must complete all ten challenges with bronze or better to advance in the storyline missions in this game. 1. *Takeoff* (555VIIb1) Difficulty: 2/10 Accelerate, lift the nose up, and retract the landing gear with R3. I'll be the first to say that that command should've been L3, but whatever. Fly through both coronas quickly, I believe |FIXED| 30 seconds is gold. 2. *Land Plane* (555VIIb2) Difficulty: 4/10 Lower the landing gear with R3 and tip the nose down whole decelerating with square. Land with the plane almost level to the ground and slow down quickly. Use the rudders to stop in the center of the blip for gold. 3. *Circle Airstrip* (555VIIb3) Difficulty: 7/10 Wow. This is *****. Pardon my language, but this is really just a huge step up from the last two challenges. It's ridiculous. Go counter-clockwise, since turning left with the left analog stick is much more natural. Take the plane off, and make sure to retract the landing gear. You will stall if you don't. Put it back on if you want to slow the plane down (lower time, more control). Push SLIGHTLY for each turn and use the rudder to pull you through. Gold is 1:00. You should get your pilot's license at the end of this one, but you still have to do the rest of the challenges. 4. *Circle Airstrip and Land* (555VIIb4) Difficulty: 8/10 Bahaha...exactly the same, only now you get to land while speeding along with an unbalanced plane. Use the above strategies, but focus on the landing. It took me about 30 minutes to get silver, and I ended up with 99%. Got 100% eventually though. 5. *Takeoff Helicopter* (555VIIb5) Difficulty: 3/10 Ahh...much better. Take off by holding X and rotate 180 degrees with L2 (or R2, if you so choose). Push forward on the analog stick while still holding X to get some speed and head towards the corona. Use square to lose some height if you have to. Gold is gotten by being very quick about everything. 6. *Land Helicopter* (555VIIb6) Difficulty: 2/10 Cake. Ignore 90% of what the game says. Head to the landing spot, hover for a second, then slam down square. Get gold by landing in the center. 7. *Destroy Targets* (555VIIb7) Difficulty: 5/10 Back to Hell. Aim the nose down at the trucks and start firing both the gun and the missiles as soon as you can. The guns help a lot more than you'd think. You have to get these in one run for gold. Next, head to the moving cars and repeat the strategy. You need some well-aimed missiles for this. Finally, head back to the landing area on the runway. Land in the center, coupled with a fast time, to receive gold. 8. *Loop-the-Loop* (555VIIb8) Difficulty: 3/10 Dip the plane down a bit and head to the first corona. Pull back on the left analog stick and ride it out for a few seconds. When the plane starts to come back down, ease up on the stick and finish. Get gold by doing this in 21 seconds. 9. *Barrel Roll* (555VIIb9) Difficulty: 3/10 The same as the last one, only this time push to the left on the analog stick. It has to be to the left. The problem with this is that the plane tends to go nuts after the roll, but force it into the corona to complete this. Get gold by doing this in 18 seconds. Phil_a_steen says to hold down R2 while barrel rolling to keep control as you make the spin. 10. *Parachute onto Target* (555VIIb10) Difficulty: 4/10 The last challenge! We're here! Just follow the instructions and land on the target for bronze. For gold, hold forward on the stick for as long as you can, and when the parachute comes out, tap back on the stick until you get to the runway. Keep tapping until you are just over the target, then land on the 35. Gold is achieved by a low time and getting on the center. Reward for all Bronze: Rustler found in a hangar. Reward for all Silver: Stuntplane found outside the hangar. Reward for all Gold: Hunter found on the helipad. You get a flying skill upgrade for every challenge completed. Reward for completion: Respect earned + a lot of flying skill. ############################################################################### C. AIRSTRIP MISSIONS, DAMN MIKE TORENO IS AWESOME (555VIIc) 1. *N.O.E.* (555VIIc1) Difficulty: 3/10 Hey guys, remember Circle Airstrip and Land? Of course you do. Guess what? You get to do it again, except this time, you have an incredibly annoying visibility meter and a less strict time limit. Start by flying through the canyon and out into the bay. Your goal is to get as far west as you can, over towards the beaches of Mt. Chiliad. Stay low, have fun trying to fly under bridges if you want to, then get to the drop point. Make a U-Turn and start flying back to the airstrip, all the while staying under the radar. If you are caught, you can avoid the Hydras by flowing low under bridges et cetera until they lose you. It's hard to do, and you're better off just retrying. Anyway, make it back to the airstrip and land, but don't worry. You don't have to land in the circle, just land anywhere on the airstrip to complete this mission. This is the last time you have to fly, which really pisses me off that we had to go through all of pilot school just for that. Edit: Or you can be lame and do it the way everyone else does it, which is to fly to the side of the map and then go all the way around. This is one of the additions that I lost to a power failure and forgot to read. Reward: $15000 2. *Stowaway* (555VIIc2) Difficulty: 3/10 This is an AWESOME mission. So much better than the last few that we've had to do. It made me giddy. Start off by leaning forward on the bike to get a speed boost. Stay on the outside and then cut in. As soon as you touch the ramp, the cutscene will put you inside the plane. Now, here's where pretty much everyone will screw up once. You cannot use a gun in here! You can try, but eventually a stray bullet will blow the plane. Just use you fists, melee weapon, flowers, or a *****. Beat the agents to death, then take out the guy with the parachute. Grab the 'chute, throw the remote explosive, and stand on the back of the plane. Jump off, detonate it, and watch the fireworks as you come down. Make sure not to land in the military base, eh? Reward: $20000 3. *Black Project* (555VIIc3) Difficulty: 5/10 I gave it a higher difficulty because I know some people will have some problems. I didn't, but it's not that easy of a mission. Start by taking your binoculars and turning on heat vision. Scope in with the Sniper Rifle and start picking off guards. Kill as many as you can. There are two ways to go from here. The first is to be a stealthy sniper by taking out key targets by sniping them, then going up in a guard tower and sniping everyone until you run out of bullets. You can then drop down, avoid spot towers, and head into the blast doors. The other way is to ignore the existence of the word "stealth", and run in with an AK or M4 with Hitman and just start blasting people away. This is how I did it, and it was a whole lot of fun. When you're detected, just follow the instructions to get to the vent. Shoot it out and drop down. Once inside, just pick off anyone that comes near and keep your eyes peeled for health and armor pickups. Eventually, you should find a room with a big green radar. Kill everyone around it and step into the circle to cut off the SAM sites. You'll appreciate this later. Anyway, keep running around until you get to a lab. Let the scientist drop his keycard, then head through the doors into the secret area. Wipe out every guard on the stairs and get to the bottom. Claim your prize, a sexy little jetpack, and fly out of the base. Outside, you're safe if you disabled the SAM sites. If not, book ass out of there, since a flurry of missiles is coming your way. It is very possible to escape without disabling the SAMs. Head to the dropoff point. Reward: Nada, except some Sniper Rifle ammo and Thermal Goggles. The Truth will call afterwards saying to meet him at the airstrip. 4. *Green Goo* (555VIIc4) Difficulty: 4/10 You'll need Gangster or better in MicroSMG for this, just in case anyone was wondering. Fly towards the train and get to the back of it. You can start from the front and work back, but it's easier this way in my opinion. Nail down every guard you see while flying, or standing on boxes. Whatever floats your boat. Destroy each box until you get to the third one, which has the item you need. It's always the third box. It doesn't matter where you start. Once you get the green goo, fly back to The Truth. I really hope that this comes back later in the game, since it seems really cool. Reward: The motherload. $20000, Jetpack delivered to Verdant Meadows, and Verdant Meadows becomes an asset that collects $10000 every day. That'll pay back the starting fee in a hurry. ############################################################################### D. CESAR VIALPANDO, LET'S STEAL CARS ESE (555VIId) You must complete Back to School and Yay Ka-Boom Boom to unlock these missions. Buy Wang Cars to start these missions at the garage. These missions are not required to advance the story. 1. *Zeroing In* (555VIId1) Difficulty: 4/10 This mission is hard because of all the stupid glitches. Her car likes to warp around if it gets stuck behind a pole for a few seconds, and all the poles in the city are now uber-durable and spin you like a top if you touch them. Get through all of that and follow the blips before they turn gray (cold trail), and get to her car. Spin it out by tapping the left or right of her car, but do NOT total it! The more damage you do, the harder the return to the garage will be. Head back to the garage and park the car for your reward. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alternate strategy by Cradea2: As soon as the mission starts, do a quick U-turn to the left, and cut through the construction site behind the garage. Drive straight out on to the road, and the target car should get there about one second later. Crash into her rear fender to spin her out, grab her car, and take the short drive back to the garage. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reward: $5000; Respect earned; WheelArch Angels opens for car modding. 2. *Test Drive* (555VIId2) Difficulty: 4/10 I have no idea what the point of this mission is. It could've been really simple if you just went straight for the garage, but instead, Cesar wants to screw around. Just follow him for a while. When the police come, get ahead of them. Try to keep them off Cesar, since even though his car is nigh indestructible, it can flip and blow. When he hits his Nitrous, do the same, but slow down when he makes the turn at the end. You will have some left, just let it burn out at a slow pace. When Cesar heads into the alley, back up quickly, then follow him to the garage. Reward: $5000; Respect earned. 3. *Customs Fast Track* (555VIId3) Difficulty: 3/10 This is your intro to the Import/Export crane. Just get used to the crane for a bit, and use the shadow to judge where you need to drop the crate. Don't drop it from too high of a spot, or it will break open and you fail. Anyway, once you break open the third crate (it's always the third), you find the car. But gasp, there's a twist. Here come people to stop your thievery. Not a problem. Target them and kill them, then grab the car and head back to the garage. Drive carefully, as your reward is... Reward: $10000 - damage done to car; Respect earned; Import/Export crane opens up for car delivery. 4. *Puncture Wounds* (555VIId4) Difficulty: 3/10 This is kind of a fun one. Drive your Clover over along the highway until you catch up to the crazy woman's car somewhere near the Badlands. Wait until you can cut right in front of her, then drop the spike strip. You have three chances and infinite time, so don't worry. Just time it right and let it rip. Once her tires are popped and Carl fixes them, drive it back to the garage. Stop at the Pay-and-Spray before you drop it off if you want to, then claim your final rewards. Edit: If you take so long that the car gets to Angel Pine, it's possible to fail it. However, I have faith that most of you that you'll get it by then. Reward: $5000; Respect earned; Wang Cars becomes an asset that collects $8000 a day. ******************************************************************************* VIII. *Las Venturas Walkthrough* (555VIII) A. WU ZI MU, BLIND TRIAD LEADERS ARE FUNNY TEEHEE (555VIIIa) 1. *Fender Ketchup* (555VIIIa1) Difficulty: 2/10 I think we can all concur that this is one of the best names for a mission ever. It's a really simple mission though. Just drive over to the airport, spin some donuts on the runway, get speed, hit some insane stunt jumps, then laugh as the guy wets himself. As long as you don't smash the hood and kill the guy, you win. Drive back to The Four Dragons to complete the mission. Also, you can't use first person view in this mission, which really makes me sad. Reward: $5000 + Respect earned. 2. *Explosive Situation* (555VIIIa2) Difficulty: 2/10 I don't like this mission. There's no freedom allowed in it at all. Anyway, it's very straightforward. Drive to the quarry, grab the Dumper, smash the four dynamite blocks, run to each dynamite stick, grab it, then get on the Sanchez. This is the part that I don't like. You MUST follow the check- points, even if you know another way out. Just follow the blips of red light, making sure to keep your speed up since there are a lot of random jumps throughout the course. Once you escape, head down the freeway and drop the dynamite off to Woozie's man. Reward: $7000 + Respect earned. The Quarry Side Missions open up, as do the first Heist missions. 3. *You've Had Your Chips* (555VIIIa3) Difficulty: 4/10 Also another awesome name for a mission. This is your test of how well you can shoot stuff. Yay. Head to the factory in a car and jump on the car to hop over the fence. Blow up the car waiting in front, then head into the warehouse. Kill a few people, then back out. As they run to you, pick them off one by one until most of them are dead. Run and take out the rest. You can destroy the machines however you like. I set up Satchel Explosives and detonated them all at one time. After you blow them up, a few Mafia men in an Admiral show up. Blow them to bits, then drive back to the casino. Reward: $10000 + Respect earned. The Casino start point now moves, and your next bosses for this strand are all sorts of people, much like the Syndicate section above. ############################################################################### B. THE TRUTH, NEVER LET BRITS GETS HIGH, EVER(555VIIIb) When you step into the marker at the Four Dragons, The Truth calls for one quick mission. 1. *Don Peyote* (555VIIIb1) Difficulty: 1.5/10 Start by driving over to the Arco del Oeste and into the red marker. Watch the cutscene and head down to the road and pick a four-door car. Drive it back up and pick the two Brits up and take them to the Snake Farm down the road. When they start yapping, blow their brains all over the sand. Take them back to Caligula's Palace to meet Ken Rosenburg. Watch the final cutscene and step out. Update by Jhi Ameti: This name refers the "Peyote" cactus which grows naturally in American deserts. I think it's pretty common in Texas. This cactus contains the hallucinogen "Mescaline", and since these guys are in the desert trippin', it's obvious what it means. Update by Richard Murphy: Also, it refers to a great work of European Spanish fiction from the seventeenth century by Cervantes called "Don Quixote" (pronounced Ki-hoe-tay - to rhyme with Peyote). This book title also gives us the English word "Quixotic", meaning a far fetched or unrealistic pursuit, and the character was painted a number of times by, amongst others, Pablo Picasso. Wow, this game is deep =P Reward: Respect earned; Rosenburg opens as a boss at Caligula's. ############################################################################### C. KEN ROSENBURG, HEY, I REMEMBER THIS GUY (555VIIIc) 1. *Intensive Care* (555VIIIc1) Difficulty: 2/10 Drive over to the hospital and find out that Johnny's been moved. Woops. Track down an ambulance and ram it. The first one is guaranteed to not be the right one. Take your pick of the other two, one of them might be the right one. If it's not, it's still not a problem. If there is a time limit for this, it's huge. Smash the mafia ambulance by PITing it, ramming it, and doing small drive-bys. The less damage you do, the better, since you have to drive this thing back. Once the Sindaccos get out of the ambulance, blow them away and take it. Try to ignore the following Mafia members and and drive over to the meat factory to drop Johnny off. Reward: $5000 + Respect earned. Tenpenny opens up as a boss again, but let's finish off with Ken first. 2. *Meat Business* (555VIIIc2) Difficulty: 3.5/10 Drive over to the meat factory with your cracked out buddy Ken and watch the cutscene. Johnny has a heart attack and dies. Oh snap. Start off by blowing away the guards in the first room and as many in the next as you can. Use a gun you want to level up at first, since these guys are worth killer weapon skill points. Anyway, kill every guard you see. When Ken runs to the freezer, stand guard for a second. Don't let the mafiosos lock him in, since it'll put a time limit on the mission for you. Don't get locked in yourself either, since you'll die and fail. Use the everlasting R1+L1+ Repeat strategy and kill every guard. They all must die to complete the mission. Once they're dead, lead Rosenburg out, and then drive him back to the casino. Reward: $8000 + Respect earned. 3. *Freefall* (555VIIIc3) Difficulty: 3/10 Go watch the cutscene entitled "Fish in a Barrel" back at the Four Dragons to get a call from Ken. This is actually a Salvatore mission, but we're saving Ken's ass, so I'm putting it here for space purposes. Head over the airport and steal the Dodo in the hangar. Fly the long flight over to the arriving plane. Once you see it, notice the corona behind it. Fly into the corona to trigger the most unrealistic cutscene in the game. Wow, that was out of place and uncalled for. Anyway...kill the four guards via manual aim, then take down the pilot. The guards can't aim for their lives, so just pick them off. Take cover only to reload. Fly the plane back and land it to complete the mission and claim your reward. Reward: $15000 + Respect earned. Madd Dogg's mission opens for availability. ############################################################################### D. OFFICER FRANK TENPENNY, HEY, I REMEMBER HIM TOO (555VIIId) 1. *Misappropriation* (555VIIId1) Difficulty: 3/10, or 1/10, depending on how you do it. Method 1: Drive over to Aldea Molvada and start picking off federal agents. When they get too close, whip out your assault rifle and go to work. Kill as many as you can, then take the helicopter and pursue the target. When he lands, or bails out, kill him however you choose. I landed on him with my helicopter. Grab the dossier to complete the mission. Method 2: Go to the other side of Aldea Molvada and blow the target's head off with a Sniper Rifle. Grab the dossier and get out before the feds kill you. Either way, you complete the mission Reward: Tenpenny lets you live. 2. *High Noon* (555VIIId2) Difficulty: 3.5/10 You must do Misappropriation and Freefall to start this mission. Watch the super fun cutscenes, then start following Pulaski. Take out as many of the car's tires as you can. Get at least one or this mission sucks. It's almost impossible to catch up to the car. Get in the Bandito and chase Pulaski's car done. Get up next to it and drive-by it until it starts to explode. Take cover from Pulaski's desert eagle. It really hurts if he can get you enough times. Take him out however you choose. I managed to use a flamethrower on him and torched him to death. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alternate Strategies: You can also try these other ideas if that simples strategy doesn't work for you. You can attach a satchel to the car if you run fast enough, then detonate it; you can speed ahead of him on the road and hit him with an RPG; you can push him off the side of the cliff and make him lose control; you can push him into the water and have him drown. All of those work, so just do it however you want. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reward: Respect earned. ############################################################################### E. SNOOP DOGG, OH, MY BAD...I MEAN, MADD DOGG -- WOOF (555VIIIe) 1. *Madd Dogg* (555VIIIe1) Difficulty: 2/10 I don't know why you guys said this was hard. Watch the cutscene, then run over to the pickup. Kill the driver and then drive into the marker. Start moving the truck backwards and forwards so that the bed is always lined up with Madd Dogg. When he finally jumps, he should land on the bed. Drive the wounded Madd Dogg to the drive-through mental hospital to complete this short mission. Edit: There is a horrible glitch with this mission where Madd Dogg jumps before you ever get to the truck. I do NOT know how to fix this. If anyone has an active solution, please send it to me. Reward: Respect earned. ############################################################################### F. SALVATORE LEONE, IT'S LIKE A REUNION OF EVERYONE WE EVER KNEW (555VIIIf) You must complete Green Goo, Freefall, High Noon, and Madd Dogg to get the call to start this mission. 1. *Saint Mark's Bistro* (555VIIIf1) Difficulty: 2/10 I am so disappointed in this mission. It had so much potential. It was the return to Liberty City for God's sake! It was really depressing. Drive to the airport, fly the long flight to Liberty City, enter St. Mark's, and start shooting. Take out the first few with a shotgun, since the close range power owns them. Throw some grenades or molotovs off the balcony to take out the ones below you. Head down the stairs, killing each Forelli you see. Some of them take quite a few shots to kill for some reason. Once they're all dead, which shouldn't take long, fly back to Las Venturas and land. That's all there is to it. Reward: $20000 + Respect earned. You can also now start the Return to Los Santos, since the Heist, as it appears, is optional. YOU CANNOT RETURN TO LIBERTY CITY AFTER THIS MISSION. ############################################################################### G. THE HEIST, IT'S LIKE OCEAN'S ELEVEN BECAME A VIDEO GAME AND THAT VIDEO GAME IS CALLED SAN ANDREAS (555VIIIg) Shut up about the tagline :( 1. *Architectural Espionage* (555VIIIg1) Difficulty: 1.5/10 All of the missions in this strand have a lot of parts to them. This one is fairly simple though. Start by flattening/killing the tourists and taking the camera. Head to the city planning department and holster your weapon before you go in. Answer yes, no, yes to the questions the receptionist asks. Head to the top floor, then back down. Plant some satchel explosives on the air conditioning units. You can use whatever you want to destroy them, but satchels are the coolest way. Head back up the stairs and take a picture of the blueprints. On the way out, try not to kill any cops. The less cops you kill, the more damage you take, but the easier the drive home is. I had like four stars when I left the building, you can leave with two. Head back to the casino to finish the mission. Oh, and take note that when the game says "front of the casino", it means the side. Edit: Woops. Kill all the cops anyway. You get four stars as soon as you leave, and that was my mistake for not doublechecking my own info. Reward: Respect earned. 2. *Key to Her Heart* (555VIIIg2) Difficulty: 2.5/10 Head to the Caligula's and start following the croupier. She drives really weird...she'll pass any car in front of her, but she slams on the brakes at every red light. Just keep your distance until she gets to the sex shop. Follow her in and head to the changing rooms. After the kinky cutscene, go into the changing room to get the gimp suit. On the way out, your car will probably be gone, so steal a new one and follow Millie to her house near Prickle Pines. When the gimp shows up, kill him and take the ***** from him. Head inside and get laid. Getting the card from Millie is easy. Show up with a gimp suit on between 14:00 and 18:00, or 2:00 and 10:00 and head into the marker. Instant sex. There's no reason to ever have to take her out for dinner or do any of that boring crap. You can also just kill Millie and come back later and break into her house. Many, many people have asked why Millie is never home. Sadly, I have no answer to this question. She was there all three times I came to her house with gimp suit and ***** ready. I have no fix to this problem. Anyway, get her progress bar up to 33% (two scores with the gimp suit will get this), and you'll get a call from her. Head into the house and steal the key card. Woozie will call with a quick, "You da man!" The best way to guarantee that Millie is home is to date her IMMEDIATELY after this mission. Drive to the safe house in Prickle Pine, put on the gimp suit, grab the *****, and head over. Sex her up, save until she comes back, and repeat until you can get the key card. I did this and had NO problems at all. Reward: Respect earned. 3. *Dam and Blast* (555VIIIg3) Difficulty: 2.5/10 Head to the airport and take the Nevada. You'll need to gain altitude from as soon as you takeoff to hit the corona on one run. Once you get to the corona, bail out and freefall. Land as close to the marker as you can, or just fall into the water and swim to the dock stairs. From here, you can do whatever you want. Snipe the guards, blow them away, or take the knife and stab them. Once they're dead, run into the building. Climb the stairs and again, do whatever you want. I sniped the guards; you can stab them. Plant all the explosives, then run out. Watch CJ dive into the reservoir to complete the mission. Swim to the Reefer, then over to the docks for a free Seasparrow or Skimmer. Reward: Respect earned. 4. *Cop Wheels* (555VIIIg4) Difficulty: 3/10 Not a whole lot of strategy here, so I'll give you the order that I did the bikes in. Linden Station -> Las Venturas Airport -> Roca Escalante -> Julius Thruway East. Once you steal a bike, get on the freeway and head to the Packer. Drive up slowly, jump off, steal a car, and repeat. If the cop runs, don't shoot him! Just chase him down and knock him off. This mission is easy if you can keep it down to a one-star wanted level. Once all four bikes are delivered, you win. This is stupid, since in the final mission, you only use two bikes. But whatever. Reward: Respect earned. 5. *Up, Up, and Away!* (555VIIIg5) Difficulty: 4.5/10 This is a difficult mission. The army actually knows how to shoot a gun, and they all have M4s. Drive to the army base and enter as the Patriot leaves. Kill the first few guards, then head into the warehouse. The ware- house is dangerous, and you'll have to pick the guards off one by one. Stand near a wall and use the right analog stick to look around the corner. Pop out, target the guard with an AK/M4 and go back to the wall. If you can, whip out the sniper rifle and kill a guard or two from a distance. Once you clear out the room, head over to the right side and grab the armor and health pickups. Note that you can't just go around, since later, all the guards that you didn't kill will come back and finish you before you can leave. Anyway, leave the warehouse and kill all the remaining guards on the way to the helipad, and the two on the helipad. When the Hunters arrive, man the minigun and take them down. It's good to note that if they crash right on you, you still don't take damage. Once the Hunters are down, steal the Leviathan. Edit: Since so many people have submitted this, it's being added. You can fly over and parachute onto the helipad or take a jetpack and land. Just take out all of the guards and shoot down the Hunters. The rest of the mission is a simple flight. Head to the van and use the right analog stick to pick it up. Gain some altitude, then fly over to Verdant Meadows. Make sure not to ram the van into any buildings, since that will kind of make the van the explode and fail you. At Verdant Meadows, set the van down on one marker, then land on the other to complete this mission. Reward: Respect earned; the Leviathan spawns at Verdant Meadows, but doesn't have the magnet. What a gyp. 6. *Breaking the Bank at Caligula's* (555VIIIg6) Difficulty: 4/10 This is a long mission. Really long. You must have the key card from Millie, as well as Saint Mark's Bistro completed before you can do this awesome mission. Holster your weapon before entering the casino, then start running. You only have four minutes for this part; you can get it done in under three. Head to the swipe door, then to the generator room. Throw the gas grenade into the vent, then move on to the next keycard door. When the lights go out, switch to the Nightvision Goggles and activate them. Next, head to the service bay door. Head over to the right and grab the Forklift. Park it under the door and lift it up. Once the van rolls in, the next part of the mission begins. Run in front of Woozie's crew and start taking out everyone you see. The MP5 or Micro-SMG are both great for this part; don't waste AK ammo. When you finally get downstairs, watch Woozie's gang get to work. When Zero whines at you, grab the satchels and head to the backup generators. Plant the charges, then blow them once you get away. Head downstairs to see Woozie and the gang open the safe. Grab the body armor in the safe and get ready to shoot. Kill all the guards in the room, then head by the stairs. Use satchels or just rifle fire to kill all the mafia that come down the stairs. Once they're all dead, start moving back through the casino. Kill all the mafia that get in your way, using the Triads as bait if you have to. They can take a whole lot of hits, whereas you probably can't at this point. The final doorway has a bunch of guys rolling in front of you; take them out and keep going. When you get to Zero, try to resist blowing him away. Kill all the guards that try to stop you from getting to the service elevator and follow the map to it. Step into the red marker. Ride up to the top and hang a right, killing everyone as you go up the stairs. It's a jaunt to the roof. On the rooftops, run and jump your way to the parachute. Even if you already have one, you need to pick this one up to advance the mission. Now, you're supposed to land on the roof across. If you do that, you have to kill SWAT members, blow up some helicopters, then steal the chopper and fly to Verdant Meadows, which racks up wanted levels and is really just unnecesary. Land away from the roof and steal a car. Drive either to the airport to steal a plane, or just drive to Verdant Meadows. The following choppers won't even bother you if you keep moving. Park in the red blip, and watch as you finally get to punch Zero in the mouth. The whole mission is worth it just for that. Reward: $100000 + Lots of respect earned. ******************************************************************************* IX. *Return to Los Santos Walkthrough* (555IX) A. OPENING MISSION, HOME...WE'RE COMING HOME AGAIN (555IXa) 1. *A Home in the Hills* (555IXa1) Difficulty: 4/10 The problem with all missions that involve killing is that they aren't that hard, no matter what they do with them. Targeting and shooting isn't that difficult in GTA. Anyway, parachute towards the mansion and land on or near the helipad. Take some cover and get your assault rifle out. Gangsters will attack from all sides in waves of three to five, so just pick them off as they come. When the Triads come, protect them on the landing, grab the armor on the side of the helipad, then head down into the mansion. When a Triad with you is killed, go on a killing spree and take out every gangster room by room. When you get to the stairs, lob some explosives down below and take as many out as you can. Grab the health pickup in the kitchen if you need it, and start following Big Poppa. Take out any guard you can with an SMG, since you can fire that while running. Follow the path you took way back in Madd Dogg's Rhymes to get outside. Take the car and start following Big Poppa. Take note that "running off the road" means "blowing to hell via a drive-by". Just catch up with Big Poppa and blow his car up. Reward: Respect earned and Madd Dogg's mansion, which comes with a personal gym, a basketball court, a body armor pickup, and some video games. Also, Didier Sachs opens up in Rodeo, so you can deck yourself out with some nice threads and enjoy CJ's new lines, such as "I'm rich, but I'm a ****in' maniac!" Good stuff. B. CJ'S MANSION, OH BOY WE CAN DO TURF WARS AGAIN (555IXb) 1. *Vertical Bird* (555IXb1) Difficulty: 5/10 This, I believe, is the last we mission we do for Toreno. It's a hell of a mission, and a damn fine way to end his work. Drive the speed boat to the aircraft carrier and pull up along side. Swim into the docking bay. Now, as usual, stealth is completely pointless. Whip out your assault rifle and go to town. There are very few guards here, and you should be able to take them easily. Head up the stairs and to the SAM controls; step in the red marker to disable them. Head down the hall to the Hydra jets, killing the guards that get in your way. Blow up the two Hydras closest to you with Satchels or any other explosive, then head to the third Hydra. The Hydra controls as both a helicopter and a plane. Use the right analog stick to switch between modes. Use R1 to establish a target lock, and L1 to fire missiles. Use Circle to drop a jet chaff. After you takeoff, another Hydra will pursue you. Had you not destroyed the other Hydras, there would be three following you. Dogfight it and hit it with a couple missiles to take it down. The rest of the mission is all about control. Slow the plane down and lower altitude to sink the spy flotilla. The boats do not shoot back, so don't force yourself to hurry. After they are destroyed, fly to Verdant Meadows and land it. Taxi it into the hangar to complete the mission. Reward: $50000; Hydra now spawns at Verdant Meadows. A complete Verdant Meadows will spawn a Jetpack, a PCJ600, a Leviathan, a Hunter, a Rustler, a Stuntplane, and a Hydra. Now that's a hideout. Also, a Flamethrower, a Minigun, a Rocket Launcher, and a Heat-Seeking RPG Launcher all spawn at Mike Toreno's ranch in the Desert. 2. *Home Coming* (555IXb2) Difficulty: 2.5/10 Toreno finally gives you some good news. You can go pick up Sweet outside the police station. Once you get there, the narrow-minded Sweet explains that he wants to go home, not to the mansion. Once you get to Grove Street, start taking down crack dealers. At one point, you will inevitably start a war with the Ballas. Fight for your turf as you would any gang war, then finish off the crack dealers. Oh, and make sure that Sweet doesn't die. Reward: Respect earned. Sweet opens up as a boss, and you can now do turf wars. Don't go too overboard though, since you'll be losing and gaining some territory during the next missions. 3. *Cut Throat Business* (555IXb3) Difficulty: 2/10 This is one of the most unfulfilling missions ever. Drive over to Flint County to the video shoot. When OG Loc flees on the Vortex, follow him. You don't have to be incredibly close, but just enough to see him. Follow him over the jump and along the beach. When he gets to the pier, you switch to a Go-Kart. Follow him in the stupidest chase ever. Again, you don't need to be right on him; just enough to see him. When the chase ends, you get the lovely cutscene that involves you not killing Jeffrey. What a crock. Note that you can't kill him before he reaches the final destination, since there would be no cutscene. Don't even try. Reward: Respect earned; Kart now spawns outside the mansion. ############################################################################### C. SEAN "SWEET" JOHNSON, LET'S DISGUISE TURF WARS AS MISSIONS (555IXc) 1. *Beat Down on B-Dup* (555IXc1) Difficulty: 3/10 Head over to B-Dup's house and watch the cutscene to find out that you need to head over to Glen Park. Hunt down a pack of Ballas and take them out. Once the turf war is started, keep Sweet close to you. Kill all three waves with your handy assault rifle, making sure not to accidentally kill Sweet. Once you take over all of Glen Park, you get a short cutscene. Snipe or gun down all of the guards around B-Dup's house. Once they're all dead, head into the marker for a confrontation with B-Dup and Bear. Once the scene is over, the mission is complete. Reward: Respect earned. 2. *Grove 4 Life* (555IXc2) Difficulty: 3/10 This is just another turf war. Take some OG members with you for some meat shields and head into Idlewood. Use the general turf war strategies to take over the first territory, then march into the next and take that one over. That's all there is to this mission. Afterwards, take Sweet home to get some monetary compensation for all your work. Reward: $10000 + Respect earned. Take over 35% of Los Santos before you start the next strand of missions. You need that much to start the final mission, and once the riots start, it's absolute hell to take territory over. Get it done now so you don't have to spend hours doing it later. I also HIGHLY suggest that you do the Firefighter missions before this, since the final mission nearly depends on it being done. ############################################################################### D. THE RIOTS, THE HILLS OF LOS SANTOS ARE ****ING BURNING (555IXd) 1. *Riot* (555IXd1) Difficulty: 1/10 Oh snap. Tenpenny got off and now all of LS is going insane. Sweet needs to get back to the Grove to secure the hood. Hop into Sweet's car and start driving. Just enjoy the dialogue and stay away from the fires. Someone told me that it's impossible to get a wanted level on this mission, and he's full of it. There is nothing special about this mission; just drive to Sweet's house in one piece. Reward: Respect earned. 2. *Los Desperados* (555IXd2) Difficulty: 4/10 Get a four-door car before you start this mission, or at least make sure that there's one parked outside the house. Recruit two OGs and hop into the car. Drive over to Unity Station and pick up the Varrios. The rest of this mission is all killing. Take an assault rifle, or better yet, some molotovs if you've done the firetruck missions. Torch and kill all of the Vagos. If you're taking too much damage, let the Varrios take the hits. They can take a whole lot of damage throughout this mission. After the projects are wiped clean, head over to the alleyway. For the next section, just listen to what's being yelled. Kill some Vagos and watch Hazer get shot. As more Vagos come, watch for exploding cars. If one of the cars explodes, it has a good chance of killing one of the other Varrios, which is instant failure. Once all of the Vagos are down, the final part of the mission begins. There are only about ten Vagos, but one of them is on a roof with a rocket launcher. Snipe his head off, then pick of all the other Vagos methodically. When all of the Vagos are dead, the mission is over, and Cesar has a home. Update: Having trouble find gang members? Just drive around territories you own and find a group of GSFs that are not rioting. Target one of them and hit up or down on the d-pad. You should know how to do this already. Reward: Respect earned. Sweet should call a few times after this if you've already taken over 35% of Los Santos. If not, get to work. The final mission opens up after you take control of the city. PROGRESS CHECK: If you're going for 100%, you should have 99.47% at this point. If not, check and find whatever you missed. 3. *End of the Line* (555IXd3) Difficulty: 5.5/10 Here we are people. The final mission of the game. It's been a hell of a run, spanning just over 100 missions. It all comes down to this. Sweet and CJ are ready to ride on Big Smoke, so drive over to his crack factory through the riots. When you get there, you find out that you thankfully don't have to protect Sweet through all of this. Get a vantage point of the SWAT unit and start picking people off. When you can't get any more clean shots, run in guns blazing until everything is down. Take the SWAT tank and ram it through the crack house. Run over to the door to start the main part of this mission. NOTE: This is the only time you can ever get the SWAT tank in this game. If you want to play with it, save it now. There are four floors to get to Big Smoke. The first is the Security Area. There are body armor and health pickups through these floors, but you should conserve them. Go as far as you can without picking up armor, then run back and grab it. As you enter a room, scan it for vantage points and key threats. Some rooms have a shotgun toting thug. These are not your friends, and you should wipe them out first. If there's a group of them, take them out with some molotovs. Otherwise, get behind cover and pick each enemy off one by one. The second floor is the drug lab. You can take out the explosive barrels here to save yourself some trouble. The drug lab has a lot of people on higher ground, so concentrate on what's on the floor before you start aiming up top. Follow the upper catwalk around to get to the third floor, the Ballas Lounge. There are a whole lot of Ballas here and most of them are behind closed doors. As soon as you open a door, target and blast something. A lot of them have some heavy weaponry. After you get to the statue of Big Smoke, you're almost there. Pick up the armor and health in the adjacent rooms before you confront Smoke. You can plainly see that Smoke is wearing Body Armor, so realize that it takes a lot of shots to take him out. The lights will go out, but follow his red marker with your crosshairs. Put a few clips of M4/AK ammo, with maybe a side of molotovs to take Smoke down. Once he's down, your best friend walks up behind you. After Tenpenny rushes out of the building, a timer appears. You have seven minutes to fight your way out of a burning crackhouse, probably with very little life left after all of this. For this part, you will need to be fireproof. I don't care if some people pulled this off by actually using the fire extinguisher; it's just not worth it to try. If you're fireproof, just do a room-by-room shootout with the nightvision goggles constantly on. As you run through the rooms and stairs, constantly scan for enemies around you. You can run out pretty quickly, but there's always a roadblock somewhere. Once you finally get down to the first level, you get to watch Sweet latch on to the ladder of Tenpenny's escaping firetruck. Edit: Yes, it IS possible to put the fires out and side step your way through the fights. However, it is far more safe, and far easier to spend the thirty minutes and do the firefighter missions. The first part of the chase is just that--a chase. You can't catch the firetruck, but stay on it. When the cop starts smashing Sweet's fingers, then you can pull up behind the firetruck and let Sweet drop. When he takes the wheel, it's Just Business all over again. Shoot cops off of the indestructible firetruck, then focus on the squad cars behind you. Go for the drivers, then the cars. When motorcycles appear, take them out quickly. If a car pulls along side you, do the same. After about a minute and a half of this chase, Tenpenny loses control of the firetruck and crashes over a bridge, right into Grove Street. A death caused by a traffic accident in the riots...what a shame. Sit back, crack a beer, and watch the credits. You've just completed the storyline of one of the greatest games ever created. God bless you Rockstar. Reward: Respect earned. You also receive an additional $250,000 for completion of all missions. ******************************************************************************* X. Side Missions (555X) A. Los Santos Missions (555Xa) These are missions you can do before ever leaving Los Santos, and they stay open forever. 1. Firefighter (555Xa1) Difficulty: 3/10 Activated by a Firetruck. Locate the fire on a map, put the fire out, then put the people who are on fire out. A person is added for every level. It starts with one car, then becomes a car with one person, then two people, then three people. Then another car is added. Level 12 is three cars with three people each. To put a person out, force them against a wall and hammer them with a steady stream of water. The police are your worst enemy, since the idiots just love to jump in front of you car to rack on wanted levels. Getting rid of a wanted level is very hard to do while doing these missions since you rarely have time to speed through an area working the level off. Just drive slowly and safely. By level 12, you should have almost 10 minutes on the clock. Reward for level 12: Fireproof on foot. 2. Home Invasion (Must complete Home Invasion mission) (555Xa2) Difficulty: 2/10 There is a Black Boxville across the street from the Ganton gym in Los Santos. This is the only vehicle for this mission, and it must be done at night. First, you need to drive around and see what houses you want to rob (they have a yellow entrance arrow). After this, enter them and creep slowly (crouching helps). Take the expensive items like TVs, VCRs, PS2s, etc (yes, this is an anachronism). Load up the Boxville and case another house. You have until 6:00 to get to the lockup in the southeast corner of Los Santos, in La Playa de Seville. Better Strategy: Since so many people submitted this, I'm changing it. You can rob the same house over and over again. Head to the lockup in Playa and check out the apartment complex. There should be a driveway and a house on each side. Park in the middle, rob the four things from one house, then rob the four from the other. Now, go back to the first house. Everything should be back. You have nine minutes and forty-five seconds to steal as many items as possible, and then head to the lockup. Someone claims to have gotten 56 in one night and made well over $40k. This is the best way to make money without abusing the track betting (see the FAQ). There are locations in SF and LV as well, but you can find those on your own. This isn't a locations guide. For the San Fierro Boxville: From the safehouse by the sign that says Brown Streak go west and take the first right and you should see the building. It has a tilted sign that says: "Hairy Plums Wholesale Fruit". Thanks to afroholic. Reward for stealing $10,000: The money you stole + $3000. 3. Paramedic (555Xa3) Activated by an Ambulance. Do these in a Angel Pine to make it insanely easy. Locate the injured person on a map, park next to them, drive them to the hospital. One person is added for every level. Reward for level 12: Health bar increased. 4. Pimpin' (555Xa4) Difficulty: 2/10 The pimping convertible is in the parking lot of the car wash near the Pay N' Spray in Idlewood. This isn't too hard as long as you stop by a Pay N' Spray every once in a while. After a few levels, you have to protect the girls through various ways of force. You can use any Broadway for this mission, but that's the only parked location thusfar, besides the one behind the sign in Vinewood. Important note: Use your damned map guys. If you're getting a "mission failed" for beating up the john, you're beating up the wrong one. Look on the map. See the pretty icon? You need to go back to the previous whore and protect her, not the one you just dropped off. Reward for completing 10 of 10 pimps: Lots of cash and hookers now GIVE you money instead of taking it away. 5. Taxi Driver (555Xa5) Difficulty: 1/10 Activated by any Taxi. Pick someone up on the road, drive them to their destination. Rinse, lather, repeat. This is a good way to learn a new area and to make some quick cash. Reward for 50 dropoffs (NOT IN A ROW): NOS Taxis. 6. Vigilante (555Xa6) Difficulty: 3/10 Activated by any police car. Locate the enemy on the map and kill them in whatever way possible. A fugitive is added for every level. You should recruit gang members and have them drive-by for you. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Horrible horrible glitch by VGK: Get in a Police CAR (it must be a car) and drive to a building you can enter, like Cluckin' Bell. Start Vigilante, the enter the building. Wait about ten seconds, and the target is eliminated. Get back in the car and repeat. If the targets aren't destroyed, get back in the car and do it again. This works forever, and can complete Vigilante to level 12 for your body armor plus and percent completion. Edit: It can be a motorcycle as well. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reward for completing level 12: Armor up to 150. 7. Lowrider Challenge (555Xa7) Difficulty: 2/10 The same as the Sweet mission, Cesar Vialpando. Take a lowrider with hydraulics to the mechanic standing outside Unity Station. The game is the same and the wagers are the same, but they get progressively harder. I've done it three times, and I can't even come close on the fourth set of beats. You only have to beat this once, during the mission, but I still consider it required. Reward: Your bet winnings. 8. Los Santos Courier (555Xa8) Difficulty: 2/10 There's a parked BMX in front of the 24-7 in Conference, north of Verdant Bluffs. This is a good way to make some cash as well as raise your Cycle Skill in a hurry. I maxed it out on one trip from about 60%. It's really quite easy, since the time limit is very generous on all the parts. Just pause and check the map before you actually head off for each set of deliveries and plan your path, noticing what paths have to be taken for each location. Throw the package via drive-by. If you miss, pick up the package and try again. It's always better to pick up a fallen package than it is to run out and fail. Take your time, drive safe, and rake in an easy $10k. There are four levels: Six packages total, four dropoff points, 5 minutes, very close. Six packages total, four dropoff points, 5 minutes, spread apart. Seven packages total, five dropoff points, 5 minutes, very close. Eight packages total, six dropoff points, 10 minutes, VERY spread apart. Reward: Cash and the 24/7 is now your asset and collects $2000 every 24 in-game hours (24 minutes real time). 9. BMX Challenge (555Xa9) Difficulty: 4/10 In Glen Park, Los Santos, there is a huge skate park. You really can't miss it if you're driving by. There are two huge half pipes that stick up past the fence. The BMX is near one of these halfpipes. Getting on it starts this challenge. You start with ten seconds, each checkpoint adds ten seconds, and there are 19 checkpoints. Start with the easier ones on the ground that you can bunny hop or ride to get. Finish with the annoying ones that you have to use a half pipe or clear a gap to get. You can get your time up to 2:00 with a properly planned route. Your BMX skill has to be 20% to start, but 100% makes this CAKE. You can just bunny hop to like 16 of the checkpoints. Reward: % Completion +. There is no real reward :/ 10. Los Santos Arena (8-track) (555Xa10) Difficulty: 5.5/10 You need 20%+ driving skill to do this race. Who remembers Hotring from Vice? Ooh! I do, I do! Who remembers how disgustingly hard and long it was! Ooh! Me again! Yea, it's back, and it's even worse now. The opponents suck at driving and create crashes that screw you over. They attack you like crazy, and it's 12 laps long. Twelve bloody laps! This is a long race. It's a test of endurance, not of your driving skill. Drive at a steady pace and stick to the track except to avoid dumb accidents. There is NO pit stop, unlike Hotring. I highly suggest doing drive-bys to make the opposition explode. Take first early and stay there. Control the pack. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bill Radloff has this PITiful strategy: Here's an easy trick to win 8-track...use the "Pit" maneuver to spin out your opponents (pull up alongside their rear wheel, then pull into them...the car will spin around yours, while you go straight), and muscle your way to the front at the beginning of the race. Once you're in front, as long as you stay off the walls (you can actually drive pretty slow) you have the race made...just be careful because you'll catch back up to traffic towards lap 10 or so, so your best bet is to just stay behind any cars you come across at this point, since by then the worst drivers aren't trying to cause accidents any more. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reward: $10,000 + Monster (Monster truck) and Hotring Racer (incredibly fast stock car) now both spawn in the NW corner of the stadium. ############################################################################## B. Badlands + San Fierro Missions (555Xb) These are missions that can be completed after Green Sabre but before Yay Ka-Boom Boom. Notice that I said CAN, and not MUST. You can do them whenever, but they only unlock after Green Sabre. 1. Chiliad Challenge (555Xb1) Difficulty: 6.5/10 At the top of Mt. Chiliad is a Mountain Bike and some Campers. Getting on the Mountain Bike between 7:00 and 18:00 activates the Chiliad Challenge. You need 40% bike skill to attempt this, 100% is recommended. a. Scotch Bonnet Yellow Route (555Xb1a) Difficulty: 5/10 The first race is the easiest, and it's not very easy at all. The best way to win this is to be cheap and park a Camper around the first bend, so that the other racers hit it and fall of the mountain. Use this opening lead and pedal at a safe and steady pace for the rest of the race. Only cut corners if you can do it safely, without a chance of falling off the mountain. b. Birdseye Winder Yellow Route (555Xb1b) Difficulty: 6/10 Use the same strategy as the last, but be a LOT more careful. There are no borders for most of this race, and there are a few blind corners around shrubbery. Get a lead and keep the lead by racing with intelligence, not blind speed. c. Cobra Run (555Xb1c) Difficulty: 7.5/10 This race sucks. The first half is spent with your thumb on the brake and handbrake staying steady along the wood path. Start by getting a lead and getting onto the platform first. If you push the computer off the path, you won't see him for a long time. There are only two competitors, rather than six, for this race. Be very slow and cautious on the planks, then pedal your ass off once you get to to the downhill run. You can fly for a couple of jumps and take a huge lead in a matter of seconds. Slow down for the last leg, since it's very easy to slip off the side. Once you get a straight path, floor it and do a victory bunny-hop. Alternate strategy by many people: You can go slowly along the side of the wooden path and bunny hop to the checkpoints if you mess up. I thought this was common knowledge, but a lot of people submitted it over the last couple of days. Thomas Spartinos says that you can also snipe them near the finish line; a confirmation would be appreciated. Reward: % Completion. 2. San Fierro Arena (Blood Bowl) (555Xb2) Difficulty: 3/10 This is unlocked as soon as you open up San Fierro, no need for driving skill here. This is the same as Bloodring from Vice. You start with 30 seconds on the clock, each checkpoint adds 15 seconds, you need to get it to over a minute. The twists now are that you have someone in the car to do drive-bys for you, and now the other cars can steal checkpoints from you. Just keep the timer going at the beginning, and when the other cars start to kill each other, rack up a bunch of checkpoints in a row for the win. You get bonus cash if you blow up a car yourself, but the timer is far more important. The time required goes up by a minute every time you repeat this mission. Reward: $10,000 + Bloodring Banger spawns outside the stadium. 3. San Fierro Courier (Hippy Shopper in HASHBURY, not Garcia) (555Xb3) Difficulty: 3/10 You have a Freeway this time, so you're faster, but less agile. Six packages total, three dropoff points, 3 minutes, close together. Six packages total, four dropoff points, 5 minutes, spread apart. Seven packages total, Five dropoff points, 5 minutes, close together. Eight packages total, six dropoff points, 6 minutes, spread apart. Reward: % Completion + the money you made. 4. NRG Challenge (555Xb4) Difficulty: 7/10 Parked under the dry dock near the Import/Export Crane in San Fierro. It's next to a stack of boxes. This is like the BMX Challenge, only infinitely harder. The NRG-500 is crazy fast, and totally awesome, but this is damn hard. Get the ones on the ground around the dock, then speed up to the very end of the bowl to get the highest point. Circle around and pick up all the ones along the bowl and on the ramp. After this, just pretend you're a skateboarder on a halfpipe and go back and forth, picking up all of the remaining checkpoints. This is not an easy side mission, and you need to be damn confident with your skills on a bike before you do this. Josh Levine says that if you get a corona just as time is about to tick to -1:00 (as in, it's at 0:00 and about to change) that time may become unlimited. Try that if you're having problems. Reward: % Completion. 5. Valet Parking (555Xb5) Difficulty: 2/10 This is unlocked after you complete 555 We Tip in San Fierro. This is really easy stuff. You start with a minute, you get bonus time for every car you park. To start the side mission, head to your safe house and change into the Valet Uniform, then stand in the red circle at the hotel. When a car drives up, take it and park it in the garage. Simple stuff. Make sure not to take any damage, as 45 seconds helps a ton. You get up to 15 seconds as a parking bonus, but just get 5 or more and you're fine. There are five levels, each one adds a car that you have to park. The most important stat for this is stamina. High stamina lets you super- sprint back to the front of the hotel to park more cars. Other than that, just get this out of the way for percentage. Reward: Vank Hoff Hotel becomes an asset that collects $2000 daily. ############################################################################### C. The Desert + Las Venturas Missions (555Xc) These are missions that can be completed after Yay Ka-Boom Boom, since the Desert and LV open at this point. 1. Boating School (555Xc1) Located in the Bayside Marina, near Tierra Robada. Opens after the completion of Pier 69, but easier after Las Venturas is opened. a. *Basic Seamanship* (555Xc1a) Difficulty: 0/10 Go forward. Stop. Wow. Get gold by doing anything but kill yourself. b. *Plot a Course* (555Xc1b) Difficulty: 1/10 Go through the buoys, making sure not to hit them. Get gold by going fast and not hitting buoys. c. *Fresh Slalom* (555Xc1c) Difficulty: 2/10 Use R1 to make tight turns. Same as Plot a Course, but with sharper turns to make it a bit harder. That's about it. Get gold by going fast and not hitting buoys. d. *Flying Fish* (555Xc1d) Difficulty: 2/10 Screw this up once so you can see where the ramp is. Go again and hit the ramp straight going as fast you can. Over 67 meters is gold. e. *Land, Sea, and Air* (555Xc1e) Difficulty: 4/10 The problem with this is that LV has to be open to make it easy. If you swam over to do this, then you start on the Desert, which gives you a four-star wanted level. It made it a lot more fun, and I still got gold on it. Just follow the buoys, hit the ramps, and avoid the rocks. I think 2:15 gives you gold, but it's probably a little bit more or less. It's easy. It doesn't matter. Reward for all Bronze: Marquis, crappy boat. Reward for all Silver: Squallo, good, fast boat. Reward for all Gold: Jetmax, killer fast boat. 2. Freight Train (555Xc2) Difficulty: 3/10 Another new addition. Jacking the trains in any city allows you to try out this mission. Stop the fast moving train at each stop on the map to earn some cash and bragging rights. Go at speed 44 the whole time. Speed 45 can derail you. Speed 44 can't. Start the brakes at about Distance 600 and just coast it in. Time really isn't a factor. To start level 2, enter and exit your train. Reward for completion: $50,000 and free transportation by train. 3. Trucking (Must complete Tanker Commander from Catalina) (555Xc3) North of the Flint Intersection is RS Haul. There are different levels to this mission. Las Venturas must be opened to complete all levels. The key to all of these missions is to plan a safe route before you start going anywhere. Level 1. 120 seconds to head to the brewery in Red County. Difficulty: 1/10 Just drive quickly. Not a big problem here. No weird routes at all. Reward: $1000 Level 2. A damage meter (no time limit) to get to around Montgomery. Difficulty: 2/10 Just drive safely. Not a big problem here. No weird routes at all. Reward: $2000 - damage. Level 3. 3-star wanted level (no damage/time) to get to around El Corona. Difficulty: 4/10 Oh. This sucks. Drive quickly to avoid the cops and safely. The cops will try to dislodge your trailer, and they're pretty good at it. Force them into walls, do whatever you have to do. Just follow your route and park the truck. The wanted level disappears upon completion. Reward: $3000 Level 4. 300 seconds to get to Angel Pines or related areas. Difficulty: 2/10 Try to get on the freeway at the Flint Intersection and just ride it out, this strategy applies to the mission six as well. If you don't get Angel Pines as your delivery, blow up the tanker and restart. It's really easy if you get Angel Pine. Reward: $4000 Level 5. A damage meter to get to somewhere in San Fierro (random). Difficulty: 3/10 Drive safely. There is no excuse for taking too much damage. You can go as slow as you want. It doesn't matter. Reward: $4000 - damage. Level 6. 3-star wanted level to get to Angel Pines or related areas. Difficulty: 4/10 Take the same route as in four and ignore the police. They won't bother you much on the freeways. Reward: $5000 Level 7. Damage meter + 360 seconds to get to northern San Andreas. Difficulty: 5/10 Here we go; these last two are the toughies. You want to get Tierra Robada as your location. Cross the bridge to Las Venturas very quickly, then take your time on the desert highways. The time limit really isn't a problem here unless you dislodge the trailer by accident. Don't do that. Reward: $7000 - damage. Level 8. 4-star wanted level to get to LAS VENTURAS! Long run! Difficulty: 5/10 Last one! Just keep moving constantly! Plot your route to start the same as in mission 7, then take a right into Venturas. The freeways of Venturas are very fast and are a direct route to the Rockshores. East or West is fine; they are both easy locations. Avoid the police at all costs, park the truck, and claim your final rewards. Strategy by Guto: 1 - As soon as you enter the truck, pull up the map. What you are looking for is for the mission to end at the lower right corner of Las Venturas (right next to the tracks). 2 - If it is anywhere else, exit the truck before you move, run to the side of the compound out of explosion range and shoot the truck until it catches fire and explodes. 3 - Restart the mission until this location is the one selected. Note that you do not get the four stars until the truck leaves the trucking depot. 4 - Once this location comes up as your finish point, leave the truck depot going completely straight ahead toward the tracks and hang a right onto the train tracks (counterclockwise around the train loop). 5 - Follow the tracks to the end. This makes it oh so easy except for step six. 6 - Watch out for the train! I had to restart this several times. Make sure you have plenty of daylight left (like more than 10-12 minutes) when entering the truck to give you the most light in the tunnels as possible! Reward: $10,000; RS Haul collects $2000 as an asset. Las Venturas must be unlocked to complete this. 4. Ammunation Challenge (555Xc4) Difficulty: 3/10 These are located in the large Ammunations of each cities, as well as one in the Badlands. These missions are kind of catch-22, since they are designed to help you increase weapon skill, but to complete them, you really need to have Hitman skill. There are four levels, 9mm, mini-SMG, Shotgun, and AK-47. They open up as you progress missions. There are three rounds, the first is to hit a stationary target that gets placed farther back for each target you destroy. Destroy three to move on. Stage two is with a target that moves towards you. Destroy three to move on. Stage three is the only hard one, since you are in hard competition for one target that moves side to side. Take out as many as you can, getting 20 before either of the CPU opponents. Complete all four weapons to get credit for this. Reward: % Completion and some free weapon skill. 5. Import/Export Crane (555xc5) Difficulty: 5.5/10 The I/E crane becomes available after Customs Fast Track for Cesar in the Steal Cars strand of missions. Each list is ten cars long. Some are easy and some are hard. Some are nigh impossible. Each car has a maximum value that it starts with and loses as it takes damage. Here is a starting map for basic locations: http://db.gamefaqs.com/console/ps2/file/grand_theft_auto_sa_vehicle_loc.png Thanks to GamerLady for that. It's by no means a bible, but it really does help. Note that some of the vehicles there are spawned by completing certain things (obviously, there is no Rhino on Grove St. until you get 100%). List 1: | List 2: | List 3: Patriot ($40,000) | Slamvan ($19,000) | Blade ($19,000) Sanchez ($10,000) | Blista Compact ($35,000) | Freeway ($10,000) Stretch ($40,000) | Stafford ($35,000) | Mesa ($25,000) Feltzer ($35,000) | Sabre ($19,000) | ZR-350 ($45,000) Remington ($30,000) | FCR-900 ($10,000) | Euros ($35,000) Buffalo ($35,000) | Cheetah ($105,000) | Banshee ($45,000) Sentinel ($35,000) | Rancher ($40,000) | Super GT ($105,000) Infernus ($95,000) | Stallion ($19,000) | Journey ($22,000) Camper ($26,000) | Tanker ($35,000) | Huntley ($40,000) Admiral ($35,000) | Comet ($45,000) | BF Injection ($15,000) As you can see, a nice fortune can be made off of this crane. Use it well! I will add extra locations for each car as time goes on, but for now, the map has every location you need. The Patriot is best found at Easter Bay Chemicals, not the naval or army base. Other than that, happy hunting. Importing works on certain days of the week. Every car you export can be imported on a select day of each week. The Club ($28,000), Perennial ($8,000), and Jester ($28,000) are the three starting importable cars. Special imports: [5] List 1: Monster ($32,000); 2: Bandito ($12,000); 3: Vortex ($20,000) [10] List 1: Windsor ($28,000); 2: Turismo ($76,000); 3: Bullet ($84,000) Most of these special imports suck, except for the Turismo. The Bullet you can get for free if you got silver at driving school, which is very easy. Pretty stupid. Anyway, that's it for the Crane. Locations for cars that need them: Patriot - Easter Bay Chemicals Feltzer - All throughout Downtown. Also at a gas station in the southeast corner of Flint County. Remington - Parked at Unity Station where the Lowrider Challenge is. Buffalo - Parked by Catalina's cabin. Sentinel - Usually on the Strip. Parked location on the map I gave above. Infernus - Usually in Prickle Pine. Parked location on the map I gave. Camper - On top of Mt. Chiliad. Admiral - Usually found in Richman. Also found parked north of Verdant Bluffs. Slamvan - Found along the Strip. Parked behind a strip club near Unity Station. Stafford - Parked in the circular parking area in King's. Also drives around there frequently. FCR-900 - Drives all over San Fierro. Reward for all silver at Bike School. Cheetah - Prickle Pine. All sports cars frequent Prickle Pine. Tanker - Usually found driving around the Desert. Looks like a Linerunner, only bigger. Commonly mistaken; just keep checking. Comet - Parked outside Alviso Country Club, near the tennis courts. Mesa - Parked near the finish line at Mt. Chiliad. Euros - Parked under the Camel's Toe. Banshee - Found mine near Alviso Country Club. Also frequents Prickle Pine, and has a parked location in Come-a-Lot. CapoeiristaCH says he found a parked one behind the gym in San Fierro. Huntley - Drive a Rancher to help it spawn. Also spawns in place of the Hotknife at Driving School sometimes. Just check for it. BF Injection - Along Santa Maria Beach. Key Tips: -Drive the railroad tracks from LS->SF or LV->SF. They're the safest way to travel long distances and they lead straight to the crane. -If a car is locked or not spawned, drive around the block a few times. It should unlock/respawn. -Need a sports car? Drive one. Need an SUV? Drive one. It's in the game's coding to spawn cars of like type. -Use your garages. There's about 100 spaces in garages worth of car space. If you see a car on a later list, jack it and save it somewhere. -Use the map I posted. It kicks major amounts of ass. 6. Biking School (555Xc6) Located just south of the Las Venturas stadium. Open as soon as you get access to Las Venturas. a. *The 360* (555Xc6a) Difficulty: 1/10 Hold down square and X while turning in a circle. Get gold by heading back to your starting position. b. *The 180* (555Xc6b) Difficulty: 1/10 Go forward quickly, hit the handbrake, turn, come back. Get gold by parking perfectly. c. *The Wheelie* (555Xc6c) Difficulty: 2/10 You can't start the wheelie until right before you get to the cones. Just note that and you're fine. Get gold by parking perfectly. d. *Jump and Stop* (555Xc6d) Difficulty: 2/10 Jump! Stop! Get gold by parking perfectly. e. *The Stoppie* (555Xc6e) Difficulty: 3/10 Start your stoppie right as you get to the cones and end it as soon as you can to maintain balance. Get gold by parking perfectly. f. *Jump and Stoppie* (555Xc6f) Difficulty: 3/10 Getting gold is easier than bronze here. Floor it and lean forward to get as much speed as possible. Land completely straight, NOT on your front wheel. The game will stop you automatically, and perfectly straight. Work on your timing and you end up right in the middle. It's cheap, but very effective. Reward for all Bronze: Freeway Reward for all Silver: FCR-900 Reward for all Gold: NRG-500, drool. Biking skill goes up for completion and for every gold. Higher bike skill isn't necessary for this since Bike School is stupidly easy. 7. Las Venturas Arena (Dirt Track) (555Xc7) Difficulty: 3/10 Come to the Las Venturas stadium on Mondays and Wednesdays for this Sanchez racing challenge. This challenge is easy if you just ignore all the other races. There is a scripted crash for the computer that will get you a huge lead or put a lot of distance. I had a lead by lap 4, and by lap 6, I was lapping the last few racers. Just take the turns slowly and take the jumps straight, and try not to get caught up in all the accidents. Reward: $25000, and the BF Injection spawns outside on Monday and Wednesday. It also spawns all over the desert. What a prize. 8. Las Venturas Arena (Kickstart) (555Xc8) Difficulty: 3.5/10 Come to the Las Venturas stadium on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Friday through Sunday for this Sanchez obstacle course of death. This is so not as bad as I thought it was going to be. With maxed Bike skill, you can run face first into a wall and not fall off. Believe me, I did it a few times. I did this by collection a few easy greens, then getting some harder ambers, and I only went for two reds. I had about 23 points at that point, so I grabbed all the remaining greens that I hadn't gotten and finished with 29. There's a total of almost 50, so just take your pick and go with it. You have 4:00 to get 26 points. 25 will not give you victory. Reward: $0. The Dune now spawns outside on every not Monday or Wednesday. 9. Las Venturas Courier (555Xc9) Difficulty: 2/10 The same as the other Couriers except that this one starts in Redsands East at the Burger Shot, and your vehicle is the Faggio (Fah-jee-oh). You have a Faggio this time, so you're slow, but you can pick up quite a bit of speed if you lean forward on the scooter and ride the center of the road for the whole thing. Use the basic Courier strategies and don't stress about the time limits. Oh, and on the fourth level, the checkpoints spawn in strip malls with annoying walls around them. Find the entrance; don't try to force your way over. Six packages total, three dropoff points, 3 minutes, close together. Six packages total, four dropoff points, 5 minutes, somewhat close. Seven packages total, Five dropoff points, 5 minutes, somewhat spread out. Eight packages total, six dropoff points, 7 minutes, very spread apart. Reward: % Completion + the money you made. 10. Quarry Missions (555Xc10) Complete Explosive Situation (the 2nd Woozie Casino mission) and head to Hunter Quarry for these seven challenges. Mission 1 -- Difficulty: 1/10 You have 3:30 to clear seven rocks. This is easy stuff. The Bulldozer cannot flip over and explode, so feel free to just roll down the sides of the quarry to get to lower levels. The Dozer sucks at climbing, so try to only go down if you have the chance. Other than that, just get a feel for the controls. We use the Dozer a lot. Reward: $500 Mission 2 -- Difficulty: 2/10 You have set times to defuse the bombs. The times are really generous if you know what you're doing with the Dozer. If you aren't comfortable with the controls, you better learn fast. Just push the explosives away and then get away from the barrels and move on. The time limits are preset, so it doesn't matter how fast you finish the previous explosive. Remove all four explosives to complete this mission. Reward: $1000 Mission 3 -- Difficulty: 1.5/10 The Dumper is our other best buddy. This huge truck can take a mammoth beating and rolls over everything like a damned tank. I love it. Just speed along the highway until you catch the thieves. Either push them into the water or pull along side and dump a clip of drive-by into them. Don't stick around after the other truck catches on fire, since you're out in the middle of nowhere and you'll need a ride home. Reward: $2000 Mission 4 -- Difficulty: 3/10 This is your intro to hauling crap with the Dumper. It's not fun, and it can be very frustrating later. Do NOT let a body fall out of the bed of the truck. They also stick really well until you get to the quarry, but as soon as you touch the familiar dirt, they start slipping around like fish. Go slowly -- SLOWLY down the sides. You don't have to go slow now, but later, you will rely on it. Back to the fire and raise the back end to dump the bodies into the makeshift furnace. Reward: $3000 Mission 5 -- Difficulty: 5/10 One of the two hard Quarry missions. Your Dumper is now a gentle snowflake. Treat it like your girlfriend, unless of course you're an abusive rapist or something. Take the first left followed by the first right and follow the bend at Cluckin' Bell. Take a left onto a side road and then a dirt path to Verdant Meadows. This is the safest, fastest route I could find, and it worked on the second try. The problem is really just that hitting anything going faster than a bug will cause you to explode instantly. It's really not cool if you hadn't saved for a while. Dump the explosives directly into the red marker to complete the mission. Reward: $5000 Mission 6 -- Difficulty: 2.5/10 Just drive the Dozer to the tracks and start pushing the barrels. They should all start falling off to the side. Finish the tracks, then come back and remove the ones that didn't quite make it. If the train goes by without hitting any barrels, or you for that matter, you win. Reward: $7500 Mission 7 -- Difficulty: 6/10 I broke my favorite controller over this. This mission is frustrating because it shouldn't be hard. Push, pull, drive, dump. Except it's "push a body that rolls down hills faster than a Banshee", "pull with a crane that controls worse than the RC Baron", "drive at the speed of piss because the body and bike slide as if friction didn't exist", and then "dump off the side of an inclined cliff, praying that your handbrake finger doesn't slip for a half second." Three times that happened to me. There really isn't much of a strategy here. Just put everything from the above missions together and don't do anything stupid. Oh, but I did fix the controller, so need to pour a 40 for it or anything. Tip by Dmitri W.: Go up the slope backwards with the Dumper to keep the bodies in the truck. Reward: $10000, Hunter Quarry becomes a $2000/day asset, Dumper and Dozer spawn at the bottom of the Quarry. ############################################################################### D. Race Tournaments (555Xd) Race tournaments are marked by a checkered flag on your in-game map. All races net $10,000 except Badlands A and B, which are $5000 each. You must place first to receive your money and credit towards 100%. You cannot destroy the other racers by any means. They are all bulletproof, even the motorcyclists themselves. You cannot keep any car you race with, since the screen fades to black if you win or fail. You will need very high or maxed driving and biking skills for these races, and flying for the last ones. These races are worth a huge chunk of percentage since all of them count as full missions. If you save, you'll notice that the title of the save is the name of the last race completed. Yowch. I believe they open up after you complete Driving School and purchase Verdant Meadows. There may be other requirements, but I am unaware of it. 1. Los Santos Circuit (555Xd1) Lowrider Race - 1.46 miles - Blade Difficulty: 4/10 You've already done this one for Cesar as a mission. I did it again and got no % complete. However, you should do it again, since it's a good warmup. Little Loop - .82 miles - NRG-500 Difficulty: 1/10 The NRG-500 kicks so much ass it's ridiculous. Just floor it, and ignore the other competitors. You'll leave them in the dust in the first quarter of a mile. Use the handbrake for all turns and just ride it out. Oh, and since everyone thinks it's so cool and unknown, here's the trick for all motorcycles: lean slightly forward via the left control stick to go faster. I thought everyone already knew that. Backroad Wanderer - 2.05 miles - FCR-900 Difficulty: 2/10 Yay motorcycle races. These are all so easy because the fact that you can speed boost and the computers can't. Just take it slow and then floor it on the straightaways. Dodge traffic by riding the center of the road, or staying off to the right. This is a very easy track to navigate. City Circuit - 2.26 miles - FCR-900 Difficulty: 1.5/10 Use the same strategy as above. Slow on corners, fast as hell on the straightaways. The FCR isn't an NRG, but it can haul ass if you use it right. Ignore the competitors and enjoy the sights. Vinewood - 2.41 miles - Sunrise Difficulty: 5.5/10 This race sucks just because the Sunrise is a piece of crap. The sedan races are all horrible because the cars aren't meant to move like that. Just race intelligently, avoiding traffic. Use the PIT maneuver if you have to, but really just focus on the road. Once you get a lead, it's pretty easy to keep. There's a nice straightaway before the finish to take back a lead if you lost it. Freeway - 2.62 miles - Super GT Difficulty: 4.5/10 Suck suck suck. This race sucks. The race is made artificially hard by the fact that the Super GT is slower than most of the other cars, but not by a lot. The problem is that they all corner like the road was sandpaper. The entire race you get to watch these cars corner like nothing. Start the race off by staying in the middle of the road and PITing whatever cars you catch up to. When you get to the island, slow down and go over it. This screws the other racers up to give you a quick lead. Once you get past the island, floor it until the turn. Slow down for a bit, get on the freeway, and floor it again. You should now have a commanding lead that you can hold as you head back through the city. Into the Country - 5.22 miles - Bullet Difficulty: 2/10 Easy as a Los Santos hooker. Straightaway -- floor it. What? The straight- away goes on for 75% of the race? Awesome! Yea, it's that easy. The Bullet is your daddy and it will take you the entire race without a problem. Badlands A - 2.99 miles - Sabre Difficulty: 3/10 You already did this as a mission called Wu Zi Mu. You don't have to do it again. Look back there for a strategy. Badlands B - 2.99 miles - ZR-350 Difficulty: 4/10 You already did this as a mission called Farewell, My Love... You don't have to do it again. Look back there for a strategy. 2. San Fierro Circuit (555Xd2) Dirtbike Danger - 1.99 miles - Sanchez Difficulty: 1/10 This is a very easy race. Cut as many corners as you can and take an early lead. You can hold the lead easily just by racing intelligently. Bandito County - 2.02 miles - Bandito Difficulty: 1.5/10 The Bandito rolls easily, but can't flip over and explode. You can take sharp turns, but slow down before them so that you don't lose valuable time and placement. When you're crossing water, speed up greatly to make sure that you don't get stuck. Other than that, stay on the path except to cut a few quick corners. Go-Go Carting - 1.18 miles - Kart Difficulty: 3/10 CJ in a Gokart is so funny it's ridiculous. It's almost impossible to roll the Kart, but it's very easy to spin. Hitting a pole, wall, person, cat, or leaf can easily screw the race up for a bit. However, the other racers are horrible at karting, so take a lead and just slow it down. Speed up along the alley straightaways and finish in a circle. San Fierro Fastlane - 1.64 miles - Alpha Difficulty: 4.5/10 This is one of the first hard races because the other racers are faster than you and take turns like butter. However, at the start of the race, they are far too focused on each other than the corners. Take a quick lead and cut the first grassy corner to get a decent lead. You may lose it along the hills, but gain it on the huge straightaway through Chinatown and then in Palisades. You can go from 4th to 1st very quickly towards the end, so don't give up until the very end. San Fierro Hills - 5.2 miles - Phoenix Difficulty: 4/10 This is a pretty easy race despite the length. The other cars are driving cars slower than yours, so you can get an early lead if you play your cards correctly. The key to this race is simple. On the long straightaway on the freeway -- FLOOR IT! There are almost no cars during this race for some reason, so put the pedal to the metal and let the Phoenix fly. Once you've gotten that lead, keep the rest of the race smart, and don't total your car. Most of this information stands for the next race as well. Country Endurance - 6.68! miles - Bullet Difficulty: 5/10 This is basically the same as the last race except longer and the cars are all faster. The Bullet is a speed demon, and YOU are your own worst enemy. Do not abuse the speed of this car. There are tons of hairpin turns that lead to dips in the ocean if you aren't careful. However, feel free to let the car drive you during the few long straightaways. Once you get a lead, you can keep it easily by flooring it on the straightaways and taking clean turns. The other cars try to go the same speed the whole race and they fail miserably. For a random story, since I don't put many in this guide, I was headed around the sharp turns at the end when all of the sudden the ZR350 comes flying over my car and down the road, flipping and rolling until it landed on its wheels and started back up the path. Teehe. 3. Las Venturas Circuit (555Xd3) San Fierro to Las Venturas - 4.85 miles - Banshee Difficulty: 2/10 Oh damn I love the Banshee. It's the best car in the game. Hands down. Don't even argue with me. It's fast and it handles like a dream. Just ride the race out, enjoying the freeway once you get on it. You don't even have to try on this one guys. Dam Rider - 2.67 miles - NRG-500 Difficulty: 2/10 All motorcycle races are still easy. You will have to ride slower than you usually do for the next two races, but it's not a problem. Just take the turns with a handbrake and floor it across the Sherman Dam. The NRG is the fastest vehicle in the game. Enjoy it. Desert Tricks - 2.91 miles - FCR-900 Difficulty: 2.5/10 This race starts hard because you really can't see the path that you're on. Once you get on the road, you can get a quick lead because the other racers are idiots. Floor it along the northern straightaway, slow down, then get speed again on the southern straightaway. After the dam, there's a sharp turn down the dirt road again. Don't miss it and blow the whole thing. Las Venturas Ringroad - 3.7 miles - Turismo Difficulty: 3/10 All of the LV races are pretty easy, actually. This race is all straight- aways with turns. Hence, ringroad. The Turismo is a very fast car, but the freeway has a lot of traffic and no drive-able median. Stay on the right side of the road and just watch for random traffic. This is the last time you get to street race a car, so enjoy it. 4. Las Venturas Airport Checkpoints (555Xd4) There are no opponents or time limits for these races. However, they are mostly difficult. World War Aces - 4.24 miles - Rustler Difficulty: 4/10 I'm putting all of these at high difficulties because flying a plane in this game is not easy. They aren't that bad, but a lot of people really suck at flying. Really no strategies here, except to take it slow and try to go through the center of each corona to line yourself up for the next one. Oh, and don't forget to remove your landing gear. Barnstorming - 7.64 miles - Stuntplane Difficulty: 5.5/10 The Stuntplane handles like an RC plane. However, it does have the nice ability to miss a turn and just do a loop and pick it up. Only hold down X to go higher. It is far safe to just cruise at a steady speed and tap the control stick to move around. Watch for trees mainly, and just cruise along. There is no need for speed. Military Service - 10.8! miles - HYDRA :D Difficulty: 3/10 Remember what I just said about no need for speed? It took me 15 minutes to do this race, but dammit, I didn't explode. Keep it as a helicopter and cruise along at the speed of smell. It's horribly slow and boring, but you almost can't fail this way. If you want to be a stickler, hold back on the right analog stick to use it as a jet. It's scary fast though, so just watch every turn. You are far safer as a helicopter. Edit: Many people have said to just leave the landing gear on to provide the drag needed. I haven't tested this a lot, but it works pretty well. Chopper Checkpoint - 3.05 miles - Maverick Difficulty: 2/10 Oh wow. This is a nice change. The Maverick is my second favorite helicopter because it handles perfectly. It goes wherever you want and isn't too fickle about controls. Enjoy these next two. They are your preparation for Heli Hell. Whirly Bird Waypoint - 2.73 miles - Maverick Difficulty: 3/10 Same as above, but watch for the underpasses. Take them slowly and don't try to go up too early. It's very easy to go, "Yay! Got it!" and then crash right into the bridge. This also feels a lot longer than 2.73 miles. Heli Hell - 3.08 miles - Hunter Difficulty: 4.5/10 This is your test of helicopter prowess. It's really not too bad if you, as usual, take it slow! The Hunter is very fast, and very fast is very bad when you're not trying to go very far. There are two major overpasses, the first of which is a long section of freeways that you have to be very careful about, and the second is a quick dip under one. After the second one, it's a free ride back to the airport. Oh, the Hunter can also take quite a beating. I crashed mine into some walls, some billboards, some freeways, and it just kept ticking. Reward for completion all 25 races: $1,000,000 (NICE) ******************************************************************************* XI. Basic Info (555XI) A. Controls (555XIa) 1. Controls on Foot (555XIa1) D-Pad----------------Gang Sign/Response Control Left Control Stick---Move around/Move scope while shooting Right Control Stick--First person view (can't move) Start----------------Pause to menu Select---------------Change camera X--------------------Hold: Sprint; Tap: Supersprint Square---------------Jump Circle---------------Dive underwater/Shoot Triangle-------------Enter vehicle L1-------------------Display stats/Shoot while targeted L2-------------------Change weapons back L3-------------------Duck R1-------------------Target/Untarget R2-------------------Change weapons forward R3-------------------Look behind --------------------- 2. Controls in Car (555XIa2) D-Pad----------------Up/Down: Cycle Radio; Right: Trip Skip (back to previous mission start) Left Control Stick---Turn vehicle Right Control Stick--Turret control/Manual Camera Start----------------Pause to menu Select---------------Toggle camera X--------------------Accelerate Square---------------Brake/Reverse Circle---------------Nitrous/Drive-by (hold L2 or R2) Triangle-------------Exit vehicle L1-------------------Nitrous/Drive-by L2-------------------Look left L3-------------------Horn R1-------------------Hand brake R2-------------------Look right L2 + R2--------------Look behind R3-------------------Toggle R3 mission (L3 and R3 buttons are accessed by pressing down on corresponding control stick) --------------------- 3: Controls on Bike (555XIa3) Left Control Stick---Turn bike Right Control Stick--Manual camera Start----------------Pause to menu Select---------------Toggle camera X--------------------Tap to pedal Square---------------Brakes Circle---------------Drive-by Triangle-------------Get on/off bike L1-------------------Hold to bunny-hop L2-------------------Look left L3-------------------Ring bell R1-------------------Handbrake R2-------------------Look right L2 + R2--------------Look behind --------------------- 4. Controls in Helicopter (555XIa4) L Control Stick Up---Accelerate forward L Control Stick Down-Accelerate backwards Left Control Stick---Pitch/Roll Right Control Stick--Turret/Camera Start----------------Pause to menu Select---------------Toggle camera X--------------------Ascend Square---------------Descend Circle---------------Secondary weapon (Hunter only) Triangle-------------Enter/exit vehicle R2-------------------Rudder right R3-------------------Brown Thunder (Hunter only) L1-------------------Primary weapon L2-------------------Rudder left L3-------------------Hover --------------------- 5. Controls in Plane (555XIa5) Left Control Stick---Pitch/Roll Right Control Stick--Turret/Camera Start----------------Pause to menu Select---------------Toggle camera X--------------------Forward thrust Square---------------Reverse thrust Circle---------------Alternate weapon (Hydra only) Triangle-------------Enter/exit vehicle R1-------------------Hold to target (Hydra only) R2-------------------Rudder right R3-------------------Raise/Lower landing gear L1-------------------Primary weapon L2-------------------Rudder left ############################################################################### B. **** Tha Police! (555XIb) * --- Maybe one or two cops will trot over to your car and nonchalantly try to take you out. Not a problem. It goes away over time. ** -- Some cops will come, but hiding inside of a building will drop the wanted level. ** -- Lots of cops start to come, as well as a police helicopter from Hell. * This thing hurts a lot more than the one from VC. ** -- The SWAT start to come via Enforcer and they drop from the heli- ** copter. A Pay N' Spray or at least a police bribe would be a good idea at this point. *** - The FBI comes and they have MP5s. This is some serious trouble. Find ** a Pay N' Spray! *** - It's the army. Tanks, Barracks, mayhem. Get a tank or get to a save *** house, fast. You can remove a wanted level by picking up a police bribe, getting sprayed at a Pay N' Spray, completing a mission, saving, dying, or getting busted. Changing clothes also removes a wanted level (thanks to Wistre for pointing this out first; yes, I know others submitted it). Wanted levels are amassed by killing lots of pedestrians, killing cops, blowing up lots of vehicles, performing certain missions that involve lots of illegal stuff, and some other minor things. You get a one star warning for hitting a cop car or motorcycle, so try not to. It's not a problem, just annoying. ############################################################################### C. Statistics (555XIc) 78% of All Statistics Are Made Up on the Spot There are all sorts of stats in this game. Each one has it's own special purpose in life. Muscle -- Muscle is one of the two biggest stats. Raise this by working out in the gyms and pumping iron. There is no penalty for being buffed up to the max. Muscle decreases over time if you don't eat. Stamina -- This is the other main stat. The higher your stamina, the longer you can sprint, bike, and swim. Stamina never decreases, so max it by riding bikes or running on the treadmill. Fat -- You get fat by eating any food that isn't salad. Having SOME fat is a good thing. You want like 2% fat. If you aren't burning fat when you run, you are burning muscle. This sucks, and makes you have to go back to the gym every day to fix your losses. Lung Capacity -- Swimming underwater increases this stat. Hit circle to dive underwater and swim around. Driving -- Driving stat increases by driving. The higher your driving stat, the less you spin out on turns and the harder your car is to flip over by hitting little bumps. Driving increases the slowest of any vehicle stat. Bike -- Bike skill increases by riding motorcycles. The higher your bike stat, the harder it is to fall off and the faster you can reverse. You also take less damage for falls. Cycle -- Cycle skill increases by, get this, riding bicycles. The more you pedal, the more bike skill raises. Cycle increases the fastest of any vehicle statistic. Flying -- The more you fly, the more responsive the controls are and the less you tend to drift off away from where you want to go. Getting 20% flying skill nets you a free pilot's license. Gambling -- The more you gamble, the more you can bet on a single wager and the more luck you have while betting. Dating -- Dating girls and keeping them happy raises your dating stat, which allows you to increase your "Times Laid" stat. It's all for fun. Your sex appeal stat is tied into this as well. Weapon -- Weapon stats increase by shooting pedestrians, gang members, cops, and vehicles. The higher the weapon stat, the more you can do with the gun. Walk while shooting, run while shooting, pin point heads, or in the case of the 9mm, sawnoff shotgun, Tec9, and mini-SMG, carry two at once. There are three weapon skills, Poor, Gangster, and Hitman. Respect -- I've got a section on respect down below. Check it out. ############################################################################### D. I Tell Ya, I Get No Respect (555XId) Here's how respect works. Respect simply allows you to recruit more gangsters to follow you around as lackeys. You can get up to seven followers. Recruit a gang member by targeting an Grove Street member in green and hitting down on the D-pad. Running respect is 40% of your total. Mission progress is 36%. Turf control is 6%, money is 6%, fitness is 4%, girlfriends are 4%, and clothes are 4%. Running respect is raised and lowered in these ways: Kill a drug dealer +.005% Kill a gang member +.5% Take over territory +30% Kill an OG member -.005% An OG member dies -2% Territory is lost -3% Turf wars are by far the best way to raise respect quickly. ############################################################################### E. Weaponry Info (555XIe) Hands: Your fist -- Just what it sounds like, it's your fist. Brass Knuckles -- Attach these to your fists for an extra punch. Melee: Baseball Bat -- Great for beating the hell out of anything you want to. Chainsaw -- Vroom vroom. You know what it is. Golf Club -- Great for hitting balls, and not just golf balls. Katana -- Carl Johnson. Thug. Gangsta. Samurai. Knife -- Walk up behind someone and hit Triangle to slit their throat. A lot of hookers carry these. Nightstick -- A cop's beatin' stick. Pool Stick -- For those who can't stand pool. Shovel -- Your standard all-purpose spade. There's one behind Ryder's house. Pistols: 9mm -- A plain ol' 9mm. Found on nearly all gangsters and cops. Gangster level reached at 10%, able to be dual weld at 100% by picking up another 9mm. Desert Eagle -- A .50 caliber handgun that hurts like hell. Gangster reached at 20%. Silenced 9mm -- A 9mm with a silencer. Gangster level reached at 20%. Cannot be dual weld. Shotguns: Combat Shotgun -- A killer Spaz-12 auto-shotgun. Gangster at 20%. Sawn-off Shotgun -- Here you go. This is the ultimate melee weapon at Hitman level. You can dual wield these babies. Gangster at 20%. Shotgun -- A double-barreled shotgun that packs a punch. Gangster at 20%. SMGs: Micro-SMG -- Faster than the Tec and slightly harder hitting. Gangster at 10%. Can also be dual weld. MP5 -- The best of the SMGs by far. Gangster at 30%. Tec9 -- A thug's gat. Weak, but effective. Gangster at 10%. Can be dual weld. Assault Rifles: AK-47 -- The terrorists weapon of choice. Gangster at 30%, get Hitman to become a headshot machine. M4 -- The counter-terrorist weapon of choice. Gangster at 20%. Rifles: Country Rifle -- You have to scope with this one-shot rifle. It kills in two hits and has medium range. Sniper Rifle -- Take someone out before they know what hit them. Has a huge scope and kills in one hit. Heavy: Flamethrower -- Burn baby burn. Heat-Seeking RPG -- Do I have to say anything? Minigun -- You can aim this now, unlike in VC. This thing is a killer weapon, and wipes out anything in its path. Rocket Launcher -- Fwooooosh. Projectile: Grenades -- Meh. Molotovs -- Everyone's favorite fire bomb. Remote Explosive -- Here we go. Throw it, watch it stick, then switch to the detonator for some good time fun. Tear Gas -- Doesn't hurt cars, but wipes out crowds in a hurry. Special: Camera -- For snapshots in SF. Also found in the same bedroom. Fire Extinguisher -- Extinguisher of fires. Also a fun way to suffocate some poor sap to death. Spray Can -- For spraying tags in LS. Found in the bedroom of the Johnson home. Gifts: Cane -- A beatin' stick...of love. (Thanks RanjaMan for the fix). Dildo -- Yea, there's a ***** guys. It's in the shower of the LS police station, and you can give it as a gift. Target your girlfriend and hit L1 to give it to her. Flowers -- Found throughout San Andreas. Perfect gifts for that special ho in your life. Vibrator -- Hidden in the dump in Bayside Marina is a small white vibrator. Extras: Jetpack -- Info by Cedric Jacobs: After the mission Green Goo out in the Desert, it spawns at the Verdant Meadows airfield afterwards. Controls: X = go up, Square = go down, L Analog = change directions, L2 = strafe left, R2 = strafe right, R2+L2 = hover. Parachute -- There's one on top of the hotel in SF, the huge circular building in LS, and on top of Mt. Chiliad. Other locations are on top of the highest Gant Bridge support, on top of The Big Ear in the Desert, and on top of the highest skyscraper of Las Venturas (need an aircraft to get to this location). Thermal Goggles -- These are mainly a mission only item, but you can find a few of them in select locations throughout SA. Nightvision Goggles -- These are mainly a mission only item, but you can find a few of them in select locations throughout SA, such as in the mansion you get near the end of the game. To increase your weapon skills on the weapons that have skills, kill things! Pedestrians are worth one point, enemy gang members are worth more, cops are worth the most. Turf wars are a good way to powerlevel your stats, as well as just long cop fights for fun. Hitman skill in AK, M4, 9mm, and MP5 are almost crucial for a lot of missions. Items: Adrenaline -- These are found very scarcely throughout San Andreas. I've found one through all of my exploring. They aren't very exciting, all they do is create bullet time so you can see more blood for about a minute. Armor -- Body armor is found throughout San Andreas and in Ammunations. The first location is behind Sweet's house, in the aqueducts under an overpass. Camera Icon -- This appears from 0:01-4:00 in areas around SF. Take a picture of the area it's in. These are the hidden packages of SF. Health -- Health pickups only appear during certain missions and turf wars. Horseshoes -- The hidden packages of LV. These raise your luck stat. Oysters -- These are the underwater hidden packages found all throughout San Andreas. They raises sex appeal and lung capacity. Police Bribe -- A floating star is a police bribe that removes one wanted level from your current level. Two-Player Icon -- A floating pink icon with two people on it is a two-player icon. This starts either a two-player free roam or rampage. I'm going to leave it up to you guys to find these on your own. I hate location guides :/ ############################################################################### F. Stores Info (555XIf) This has the best items you can buy for stores, there is no need for a complete list. If you want that, please, check GameFAQs for the guide that someone typed directly off of the Brady Guide. Binco (Open from the beginning) Key items: Green Hoody -- Respect:15 ; Sex Appeal:5 Eris T-Shirt -- R:15 ; SA:7 Green Jeans -- R:15 ; SA:5 Hi-Top Sneaks -- R:3 ; SA:2 Green Rag Back -- R:3 ; SA:2 Suburban (Open from beginning) Key items: Bobo Ape T -- R:17 ; SA:13 Red Bobo T -- R:12 ; SA:12 Base 5 T -- R:15 ; SA:12 Suburban T -- R:15 ; SA:10 Mercury Hood -- R:15 ; SA:10 Base 5 Hood -- R:20 ; SA:14 Rockstar Hood -- R:17 ; SA:15 Prolaps (Open from beginning) Key items: Track Top -- R:10 ; SA:15 All Track Shorts -- R:5 ; SA:5 Sun Glasses -- R:2 ; SA:1 Mid-Top Sneaker -- R:5 ; SA:3 ZIP (Open as you enter SF) Key items: Jean Jacket -- R:10 ; SA:20 Beige/Olive Khakis -- R:10 ; SA:7 Black Khakis -- R:8 ; SA:8 Gray/Red Boots -- R:5 ; SA:5 Zip Gold Watch -- R:2 ; SA:22 Black/Brown Shades -- R:2 ; SA:22 Black Sun Hat -- R:2 ; SA:2 Victim (Open as you enter LV) Key items: Hooded Jacket -- R:17 ; SA:15 Gray Jacket -- R:20 ; SA:25 Black Jacket -- R:10 ; SA:20 Bike Jacket -- R:17 ; SA:15 Sports Jacket -- R:13 ; SA:17 Gray/Black Pants -- R:8 ; SA:10 Snakeskin -- R:5 ; SA:5 Didier Sachs (Open as you re-enter LS) All tops sans Letterman Top -- R:22-25 ; SA:25 All legs -- R:9-10 ; SA:10 All shoes -- R:5 ; SA:5 All chains -- R:2 ; SA:2 Both watches suck. Ignore them. stick to the Zip Gold. All shades -- R:2 ; SA:2 All hats -- R:2-3 ; SA:2 Old Reece's Barber Shop in Idlewood Key cuts: Cornrow -- R:30 ; SA:30 Flattop -- R:25 ; SA:25 Playa De Seville Barber Key cuts: None. Nothing has over 20 R or SA. Gay Gordo's in Marina LS, Queens SF, and Redsands LV Key cuts: Blonde Cornrow -- R:30 ; SA:30 Detail Cut -- R:25 ; SA:30 Groove Cut -- R:30 ; SA:30 Well-Stacked Pizza, Cluckin' Bell, Burger Shot Cheap meal is 1% fat, second is 2%, third is 3%, salad is 0% fat. Read above for the effects of fat. Tattoo Shops in Idlewood LS, Willowfield LS, Queens SF, and Redsands LV All tats are R:2-3 S:2-3, except the chest Bullet, which is S:1. ############################################################################### G. Safe House Info (555XIg) I need someone to send me the full Desert and LV property list, unless everyone just wants to wait until I get there, but I doubt that. All safe houses are located on your in game map. Los Santos Property ------------------- Ganton (CJ's House) - Price: Free - Garage: Two - Spray tag rewards spawn here as well as a camera and a can of spray paint. Willowfield - Price: $10,000 - Garage: None El Corona - Price: $10,000 - Garage: Two Jefferson - Price: $10,000 - Garage: None Marina - Price: $10,000 - Garage: None Santa Maria Beach - Price: $30,000 - Garage: Four (sort of -- it will fit four bikes, but not cars. Thanks Tim.) Vinewood - Price: $120,000 - Garage: Two (Near Madd Dogg's mansion) Mulholland - Price: Free - Garage: None (Obtained when you return to Los Santos near the end of the game) Badlands Property ----------------- Palomino Creek - Price: $35,000 - Garage: Two Blueberry - Price: $10,000 - Garage: None Dillimore - Price: $40,000 - Garage: Two Shady Creeks (Southwest of The Farm) - Price: $100,000 - Garage: None It's a huge ass farm, and I've seen no decent vehicle spawns or even a garage. You get a Sanchez and a pick-up truck, as well as some farm equipment. Ooh ahh. Angel Pine - Price: $20,000 - Garage: None San Fierro Property ------------------- Doherty Garage -- Price: Free - Garage: Four - You start with this garage. Snapshot rewards spawn here. Doherty - Price: $20,000 - Garage: None Hashbury - Price: $40,000 - Garage: Four Queens - Price: $50,000 - Garage: None Palisades - Price: $20,000 - Garage: Two Chinatown - Price: $20,000 - Garage: None Financial Hotel - Price: $100,000 - Garage: Two Zero RC - Price: $30,000 - Garage: None - Becomes a save point and asset after you complete his three missions. Wang Cars - Price: $50,000 - Garage: None - Becomes an asset after you complete Cesar's strands of missions here. Must complete Driving School and Yay Ka-Boom Boom to purchase. Thanks to John Sovinsky for prices and info for Badlands and SF. The Desert Property ------------------- Tierra Robada - Price: $20,000 - Garage: None El Quebrasos - Price: $20,000 - Garage: None Verdant Meadows - Price: $80,000 - Garage: Four + an aircraft storage hangar - Becomes an asset after you complete the airstrip missions. Bone County - Price: $30,000 - Garage: Two Las Venturas Property --------------------- I haven't gotten this far yet. Redsands West - Price: $30,000 - Garage: Two Pirates in Men's Pants - Price: $6000 - Garage: None The Camel's Toe - Price: $6000 - Garage: None The Four Dragons Casino - Price: Free - Garage: None The Clown's Pocket - Price: $6000 - Garage: None Prickle Pine - Price: $50,000 - Garage: Four Old Venturas Strip - Price: $6000 - Garage: None Rockshore West - Price: $20,000 - Garage: None Creek - Price: $10,000 - Garage: None White Wood Estates - Price: $20,000 - Garage: Two If I have any bad info, let me know at the above contact. http://www.gtasanandreas.net/screenshots/gallery.php?image=585 for a map. ############################################################################### H. Car Mods Info (555XIh) Transfenders - Temple, Los Santos; Doherty, SF; Come-a-Lot, LV Opens upon completion of "Cesar Vialpando". Transfenders works on 65 different types of cars, so just keep checking cars to see what it will or won't accept. These are the simplest of shops that only have basic upgrades, but working on nearly all cars is a great plus. All upgrades are strictly visual except Bass Boost, Nitrous, and Hydraulics. This is all pretty self-explanatory. Loco Low Co. - Willowfield, LS Opens upon completion of "Cesar Vialpando". Has tons of upgrades, but only for lowriders. Check the Lowrider section of the Vehicle info for more information on what cars constitute as lowriders. Wheel Arch Angels - Ocean Flats, SF Opens upon completion of Zeroing In, a mission for Cesar once the Desert is opened up This place makes a few select cars into massive rice rockets. The only serviceable cars are Uranus, Sultan, Elegy, Stratum, Jester, and Flash. You can get some very cool paint jobs and upgrades, including hydraulics and of course, NOS. ############################################################################### I. Girlfriend Info (555XIi) Shamelessly stolen from the SA Forums. _> There's another way to get that snapshot, but I'm not going to spoonfeed it to you. Feel free to figure that one out yourself. Horseshoes boost luck. Collecting all 50 gives you an M4, an MP5, a Combat Shotgun, and Satchel Charges outside The Four Dragons Casino. You need a jetpack for Horseshoes. Horseshoes are the easiest collectable as long as you know where you're going. It only took me an hour for all of them. Oysters boost Lung Capacity and Sex Appeal, but collecting them all is just for 100%. Get a Sea Sparrow. Land near the oyster, swim around for it, grab it, and fly to the next. I managed all 50 in under two hours with this method. It's very safe and time efficient. You get small amounts of cash for collecting each one of these, as well as $100,000 for all each 100 Tags/50 Oysters/50 Snapshots/50 Horseshoes. ############################################################################### L. Extras (555XIl) 1. Unique Jumps (555XIl1) There are 70 unique jumps throughout SA. They are not required for 100% completion. Each jump is $500, and does not increase. When a map is posted online, I'll put it up here. http://hem.bredband.net/708145/ has one now. Oh how I love that man. 2. Two-player Stuff (555XIl2) There are two player icons scattered all throughout San Andreas. Hunt them down! I don't make maps, so I really can't help you. They are bright pink and have pictures of two people on them. Two-player mode has two types, rampage and free roam, and each icon has a different property to it. Happy hunting. Oh wait, here we go: http://hem.bredband.net/708145/ put one up. 3. Arcade Games (555XIl3) There are four arcade games that are found in bars and in CJ's first safe house. They are all plays on old school arcade games. They have no bearing on anything else in the game, and just kill time for when you're really bored. They are Duality, Go Go Space Monkey, Let's Get Ready to Bumble, and They Come From Uranus. 4. Beat the Cock (555XIl4) These are two triathlon races located on Santa Maria Beach and Fisher's Lagoon on weekends only. They are unlocked after you unlock Las Venturas, and span most of the state. They start with a swimming race, which leads to a cycling race, and finishes with a sprint. You need high Stamina and Bike skill to pass these races. The reward for each is $10,000. 5. Other Not 100% Stuff (555XIl5) There are a lot of things you don't need for 100%. The Basketball challenge, dancing, and many other things are all pointless and just for fun. Refer to the 100% section for details. ############################################################################### M. Gangs and Turf Wars (555XIm) Gangs: Grove Street Families -- Green, home in Ganton. Ballas -- Purple, a big force in all of Los Santos. Los Santos Vagos -- Yellow, a lesser Mexican gang of northeast Los Santos. Las Aztecas Varrios -- Cyan, another Mexican gang at war with the Vagos. San Fierro Rifa -- Blue, a big Mexican gang of Garcia, San Fierro. Triads -- Red, the Chinese gang of Chinatown. Da Nang Boys -- The Vietnamese gang that controls Easter Basin, SF. Mafia -- The Italians that run some casinos in Las Venturas. Completing Doberman unlocks the ability to fight for turf. Here's how Turf Wars really work. Start by recruiting a couple of gang members and heading into the territory of your choice. Kill a few gangsters and watch the turf war start. Here's the difference. Wave one is chump change. Pick them off, take the cash and gats, and get ready for wave two. Wave two is harder. We've got some AKs, some SMGs, and a few more gang members. Health icons and body armor spawn on the corners of the area under attack, and they can and WILL save your ass a few times. Wave three is Hell, however. Gangsters attack from all sides with AKs, SMGs, and I've even had a few drive-by me and I had to blow up the car. Once wave three is over, OG controls the turf. How do you survive this? Hitman status. Do some early gang wars and build your pistol, SMG, AK, and maybe Shotgun all up to Hitman. Hitman makes you a killing MACHINE. Target, HEADSHOT, target, HEADSHOT. It's the only way to take over all of LS, which some people really want to do. What's the point? CJ's house becomes an asset after Doberman. The more territories you own, the more you collect. The more territories you own, the less gangsters shoot at you during side missions. The more territories you take over/defend, the more respect you have. Defend? What? Yea, at random times (also known as "whenever you least need it to happen"), any and every one of your territories can come under gang attack, unless the territory is surrounded by green, or just not bordering enemy territory. Thus, if you control all of Los Santos, you can never come into attack, and you will kick lots of ass. If you want to defend against a war, simply drive over, take out as many as you can in car, bail out, and finish the rest on foot. You get some cash and respect for doing so, and you keep the territory. Also, since a lot of people have sent this in, just saving while your turf is under attack stops the gang war. It's cheap, but nice to know. After completion of "Green Sabre", you cannot do turf wars until you return to Los Santos far later in the game, at which point you can take over all of LS, and the one stray territory that some how ended up at the boat school in Bayside Marina. ############################################################################## N. 100%, The Legacy (555XIn) I guarantee that you will get 100% if you do these exactly as I have them listed on the checklist. It's very possible to do it other ways, but two times through and I have two 100% saves. What you need: All 100+ Storyline and Non-Storyline missions All Side Missions (BMX Challenge, Chiliad, Couriers, Import/Export, Freight Train, Gyms, NRG-500 Challenge, Lowrider, Quarry Missions, place first in all street races, get bronze or higher in all four schools, complete the Ammunation shooting challenges (4), all four stadium events completed, all R3 missions completed) All save houses purchased All sprays, snapshots, oysters, horseshoes What you DO NOT need: All territories taken over All girlfriends completed All stats maxed Anything involving two-player >>Big Smoke's Couriers Arcade game Hi-Scores Triathlon races completed Unique Jumps Flowers Rewards: Hydra and Rhino spawn outside CJ's house in Ganton Infinite ammo Boosts to nearly all stats $1,000,000 Cars can take twice as much damage Check list (final): Los Santos + Northern Badlands: __ Complete Sweet's 9 missions __ Complete Cesar's 1 mission __ Complete the Taxi missions (drop off 50 people) __ Complete level 12 of the Firefighter missions __ Complete level 10 of the Pimpin' missions __ Complete level 12 of the Vigilante missions __ Complete the BMX challenge __ Complete the Los Santos Courier __ Complete the Lowrider challenge __ Complete 8-Track at Stadium __ Defeat the gym leader __ Spray 100 Spray Tags __ Find 15 Oysters __ Buy all safehouses available __ Complete Ryder's 3 missions __ Complete the Home Invasion mission (steal $10000) __ Complete Smoke's 4 missions __ Complete OG Loc's 4 missions __ Complete Tenpenny's 2 missions __ Complete Sweet's last 4 missions Badlands: __ Complete Tenpenny's 1 mission __ Complete Catalina's first 2 missions __ Complete the Chiliad Challenge __ Find 10 Oysters __ Complete level 12 of the Paramedic missions __ Buy all safehouses available __ Complete The Truth's 1 mission __ Complete Cesar's 1 "mission" __ Complete Catalina's last 6 missions __ Complete Cesar's 2 missions __ Complete the Truth's 1 mission San Fierro: __ Complete the 3 missions at the garage __ Complete the first 9 Syndicate missions __ Complete Woozie's 5 missions __ Take 50 Snapshots __ Find 9 Oysters __ Complete the San Fierro Courier __ Complete the NRG-500 challenge __ Complete the 12 Driving School challenges __ Complete Blood Bowl at the stadium __ Complete the 7 levels of the Valet challenge __ Defeat the gym leader __ Buy all safehouses available __ Complete the 3 Zero RC missions __ Complete the last Syndicate mission The Desert: __ Complete Toreno's 4 missions __ Complete the 5 Boating School challenges __ Complete the Freight Train challenge __ Complete the Trucking missions __ Complete the 10 Pilot School challenges __ Find 9 Oysters __ Buy all safehouses available __ Complete the 4 Airstrip missions __ Complete the 4 Ammunation challenges __ Complete Cesar's 4 missions __ Complete the 3 Import/Export Garage lists __ Complete the 19 street races __ Complete the 6 airport checkpoint challenges Las Venturas: __ Complete Woozie's 3 missions __ Complete Dirt Track at the stadium __ Complete Kickstart at the stadium __ Complete the Las Venturas Courier __ Complete the 5 Bike School challenges __ Complete the 7 Quarry Missions __ Defeat the gym leader __ Buy all safehouses available __ 50 Horseshoes __ 7 final Oysters (at this point, I had 87.17%) __ Complete the 1 Truth mission __ Complete the 3 Rosenburg missions __ Complete the 2 Tenpenny missions __ Complete the 1 Madd Dogg mission __ Complete the 6 Heist missions Los Santos II: __ Complete the 1 Opening mission __ Complete the 3 CJ's Mansion missions __ Complete the 2 Sweet missions __ Complete the 3 Riot missions ******************************************************************************* XII. Vehicle Info (555XII) A. SUVs and Station Wagons (555XIIa) Huntley -- A four-door luxury SUV (Land Rover). Landstalker -- The same SUV from GTA3 and Vice that rolls with a gust of wind, or maybe if you hit a squirrel. It's a Ford Explorer. Perennial -- The same wagon from GTA3 and Vice that rides at the speed of smell. Rancher -- A nice two-door SUV that's a step up from the Landstalker. Late 70s to early mid 80s Chevy Blazer K-5. Regina -- A Perennial look-alike. A Chevrolet Impala Wagon. Thanks to Francis Scott-Viola. Romero -- A black hearse. There's one parked in Angel Pines. Solair -- A sportier station wagon found all over San Andreas. It's a Mercury Sable Station Wagon. Thanks to metalangel. B. 2-Door Sedans (555XIIb) Alpha -- A simple two-door sedan with an rounded front end. A Dodge Stealth/Mitsubishi 3000GT. Blista Compact -- A Honda CRX look-alike. Bravura -- A simple two-door sedan with a pointed front end. A Pontiac Grand Am. Buccaneer -- An Esperanto look-alike. A 1971-73 Chevrolet Monte Carlo. Thanks to shortcdn. Cadrona -- A faster version of the Bravura. 1991 Chevy Cavalier Z-24. Thanks to Francis Santos-Viola. Club -- Late 80s or early 90s VW Rabbit, now called a Golf. Esperanto -- The same lowriding Caddy from GTA3 and Vice. Euros -- A sporty sedan with a rounded front end. A 90-96 Nissan 300zx. Feltzer -- A convertible that rides just off the ground. A Mercedes SL Roadster. Fortune -- The simplest of all sedans. Plain in every way. An older Ford Thunderbird. Hermes -- It looks like a PT Cruiser, if you need a reference from today. It's a '49 Mercury. Hustler -- A 1935 Ford Coupe. Thanks to Dan B. Majestic -- An Esperanto that rides higher. It's an '80's Buick Regal. Thanks to JJ. Manana -- A sedan that looks and feels like it was made of cardboard. A Dodge Aries. Thanks to Mamoru Chiba. Picador -- Another Esperanto look-alike. It's a '64 Ford Ranchero, not an El Camino. Stop sending me "fixes". Previon -- A sedan with a station wagon-style back end. A Honda Prelude. Stafford -- A nice Manana with an elongated front end and a front grill. It looks like a Bentley. 1997-2005 or so Bentley, square front grill, boxy body, appears in Las Venturas off the strip near your girlfriend's house. Stallion -- A simple convertible sedan with weak handling. It's a 1971 or so Ford Mustang with a Mach 1 type hood. Thanks to Mamoru Chiba. Tampa -- A beat-up Bravura look-alike. It's a 1965-1969 Chevy Corvairs. Thanks to Andy P. Virgo -- A Stafford with a different front grill and a vinyl back window. It's a 1973 Lincoln Continental. C. 4-Door Luxury Sedans (555XIIc) Admiral -- A very pricey sedan that looks less ritzy than it really is. Looks like a diesel Mercedes from the early to mid 90s. Elegant -- A plane four-door sedan. A Ford Crown Victoria. Thanks to Forelli_Boy. Emperor -- A very nice looking Elegant that handles just the same. It's a '90-'93 Infiniti Q45 (thanks to JJ). Glendale -- A simple vintage Chevy. Greenwood -- The most basic, horribly handling sedan you can find. It's a Dodge Diplomat. Thanks to Maikeru. Intruder -- A sedan with an angled front end. Merit -- A simple sedan that looks like an Intruder. A '91 Acura Legend. Thanks to Maikeru. Nebula -- An 1991 Lincoln Continental that looks just like an Intruder. Oceanic -- An old 50's Plymouth Belvedere. Thanks to Maikeru. Premier -- A Chevrolet Caprice. Primo -- This also looks like an Intruder with a more rounded front. It's a Buick Century. Sentinel -- The basic sedan from GTA3 and Vice that handles well and looks nice on the road. A 5 series BMW. Stretch -- It's a limo. Sunrise -- A lesser version of the Emperor that just doesn't handle quite as well. 1988-1990 Acura Legend. Thanks to Mamoru Chiba. Tahoma -- A fast accelerating sedan with a pointed front grill. Vincent -- A plain sedan with a square front end. A 7 series BMW. Washington -- A Vincent with a hood ornament to separate it from the rest. Willard -- A really dumbed down Sunrise. Has no rims on the tires. D. Muscle Cars (555XIId) Buffalo -- The powerful sports car that Catalina drives. Mid-80s Chevy Camaro IROC with no IROC decals, but with dual hood scoops. Clover -- A more off-road, low riding muscle car that can really fly. It's a 1968 Ford Torino. Thanks to Dan B. Phoenix -- A nice looking Pontiac Firebird that can haul ass. Sabre -- A standard looking muscle car found all throughout San Andreas. 1968 Oldsmobile Cutlass 442. Thanks to Momoru Chiba. E. Street Racers (555XIIe) Elegy -- Has low side skirts and a sleek design. An R32 Nissan Skyline. Flash -- Higher side skirts and a flashier looking hood. It's a Nissan Pulsar (Sunny/Prince) GTi-R. Thanks to Some One. Jester -- Same as the Elegy but it's a smaller car with a longer hood. It's a Toyota Supra Turbo. Stratum -- A street racing station wagon. An Audi S4. Thanks to metalangel. Sultan -- A Flash with a different hood and no side skirts. It's a Subaru Impreza WRX STi. Uranus -- A lesser version of the Jester. A 89-94 Nissan 240sx S13 hatchback. F. High Performance Vehicles (555XIIf) Banshee -- A sleek convertible. One of the best in the game. It's a Dodge Viper RT/10. Bullet -- A Banshee without the convertible. Your reward for all silver in driving school. It's a Ford GT40. There. I fixed it. Leave me alone. Cheetah -- A low-riding, fast as hell Ferrari 512 Testarossa. Comet -- A 1976 Porsche 911 Targa sports car. Hotknife -- Your reward for gold in driving school. An insanely awesome roadster with amazing speed. Hotring Racer -- This stock car is your reward for completing 8-Track. Infernus -- No longer than Lamborghini it was in GTA3, but obvious by it's style and spoiler. Steal one once and you'll know it forever. A 1995-2005 Acura NSX. Super GT - Your reward for all bronze in driving school. A road racer with a gigantic spoiler. A Toyota MR2 Turbo. Thanksto Clauto for the fix. Turismo -- A much lower version of the Infernus. Ferrari F40. Windsor -- It's luxurious, sporty, and powerful. It's a Jaguar E-Type. Thanks to M G Brant. ZR-350 -- A '92 Pontiac Firebird/Trans-Am with an RX-7 spoiler found all over San Andreas. Thanks to dvlzarchangl. G. Heavy Trucks and Utility (555XIIg) Benson -- A pickup with an overhanging camper. A GMC U-Haul-style truck. Boxville -- A really boxy van. Black Boxville -- A black Boxville that starts Home Invasions. Cement Truck -- It's a cement truck. Combine Harvester -- Farm equipment gone wild. DFT-30 -- A flatbed truck with an Isuzu or Mitsubishi-Fuso style truck cab. Dozer -- A bulldozer. Control the front with the right analog stick. Dumper -- A dump truck. Control the lift with the right analog stick. Dune -- An off-road transport truck that you get for completing Kick Start. Flatbed -- A large Flatbed truck found in construction areas. Hotdog -- Alex's Hotdog vans. Linerunner -- The smallest of the truck cabs. Mr. Whoopee -- The ice cream truck. Press L3 to hear the jingle. Mule -- A larger version of the Benson. Packer -- A portable ramp, great for motorcycle jumps. Use R3 to lift the ramp up and down and transport cars. Roadtrain -- The biggest of the truck cabs. This is HUGE. Tanker -- The cab that hauls tankers for the RS Haul missions. Tractor -- A riding tractor. Yankee -- The simple hauling truck from GTA3 and Vice. H. Light Trucks and Vans (555XIIh) Berkley's RC Van -- The vans that Zero wants you to destroy. Bobcat -- A simple pickup with Bobcat written on the back. It's an 80's Ford Ranger. Thanks to Forelli_Boy. Burrito -- A simple gangster van with no windows. Forklift -- Use the right analog stick to control the lift. Moonbeam -- The stupid soccer mom van with windows on all sides. It's a Chevy Astro. Thanks Craig C. Mower -- A riding lawn mower. Newsvan -- A Pony with a satellite dish on it. Pony -- A simple van with one window on each side. Rumpo -- A slightly smaller version of the Pony. Sadler -- Another simple two-door pickup. Tug -- An airplane tugger found near and on airport fields. Walton -- A pickup with a wooden fence in the back. A 1958 Chevy pickup. Thanks to Dan B. Yosemite -- A much bigger version of the Sadler with more power. A Chevy Full-size dually pickup. I. Lowriders (555XIIi) Blade -- There are rarely hydraulics on this simple lowrider. Oldsmobile Cutlass convertible. Broadway -- A very stylish pimpmobile. Hit R3 to start pimping missions. It's a 1953 Buick convertible. Thanks to Dan B. Remington -- A boxy Cadillac lowrider. Savanna -- A four-door convertible lowrider. A 70s Chevy Impala. Slamvan -- A very sleek and fast lowrider. Tornado -- A tricked out 50s Chevy with hydraulics. Voodoo -- The most simple lowrider. Usually comes with the works and found in bright red. It's a 1960 Chevy Impala. Thanks to Dan B. J. Recreational (555XIIj) Bandito -- A custom-made dune buggy. BF Injection -- A nice dune buggy with a roll cage and four wheel drive. Modeled off of an old VW Beetle. Thanks to Maikeru. Bloodring Banger -- A demolition derby lowrider that you get for completing the Blood Bowl. Caddy -- A golfcart. Camper -- A Volkswagen Combi Van. Journey -- A big RV found out in the countryside. It's a Winnebago. Kart -- A crazy go cart found in some racing missions. Mesa -- An off-road jeep. It's a Jeep Wrangler. Monster -- A monster truck that you get for completing 8-track. Patriot -- An off-road military Hummer. Quad -- An ATV that handles like crap on the roads. Keep it in the dirt. There's one on a farm in Blueberry Hills. Sandking -- An SUV tricked out with huge tires. Vortex -- A hovercraft vehicle that can go on land or sea. K. Bikes and Motorcycles (555XIIk) Bike -- A simple lowrider bike. Based on the '91 Toys 'R Us Special Edition Two-Wheel Delux Fantastic with Optional Side Pegs and autographed sound bell. Thanks to someone that knows way too much about things that really don't concern GTA:SA but I love you anyway. BMX -- A BMX bike. Mountain Bike -- A bike that handles far better off road than on. BF-400 -- A crotch-rocket with amazing wheelie capabilities. Faggio -- A simple motor scooter. It's a Vespa Piaggio. (Fah-jee-oh) FCR-900 -- Get all silver at Bike school to get this. Faster than the BF-400 and PCJ, but still no match for the NRG. Freeway -- Your reward for all bronze at Bike school. A Harley hog. NRG-500 -- Get all gold at bike school for this. The fastest bike in the land by far. There's one on top of the parking garage near the LS Stadium. PCJ-600 -- A sport bike that was great back in the 80s. Pizzaboy -- The Well Stacked Co.'s delivery scooter. No pizza missions in San Andreas though. Sanchez -- The off-road dirty Sanchez is back. Wayfarer -- A laid back cruising road bike. It's a Honda Goldwing. Thanks to Maikeru. L. Civil Service and Transport (555XIIl) Baggage -- Found in airports. A baggage handler. Brown Streak -- The Brown Streak freight train. Hit R3 for Freight missions. It's an FP-40 locomotive. Thanks to metalangel. Bus -- Your personal gang transportation system. Coach -- The same as a Bus. Really, there's like no difference. Freight -- A freight train. Hit R3 for Freight missions. It's an SD-40 locomotive. Thanks to metalangel. Securicar -- A durable security car for transporting bank money. Sweeper -- A little baby street sweeper. Towtruck -- Use the right analog stick to tow vehicles around. Trashmaster -- The trash van is back, too. Utility Van -- It's a PG&E utility truck. Not a van. M. R3 Vehicles (555XIIm) Ambulance -- Starts paramedic missions. Barracks -- An army flatbed. Starts Vigilante. Cabbie -- An old taxi cab, modeled after the '57 Chevy Bel Aire. Thanks to Maikeru. Starts the Taxi missions. Enforcer -- The SWAT truck. Starts Vigilante. Free armor for entering. FBI Rancher -- The FBI's version of the Rancher. Starts Vigilante. FBI Truck -- An off-road FBI vehicle. Starts Vigilante. Only seen in End of the Line. Firetruck -- Starts Firefighter. Edit: There's also a small firetruck parked in Doherty. This is a special firetruck that does NOT start Firefighter. HPV1000 -- The police motorcycle. Starts Vigilante. Police -- Starts Vigilante. Five free shotgun rounds for entering. Ranger -- A police SUV found outside of towns. Starts Vigilante. Rhino -- Everyone's favorite tank. Right control stick controls the turret, O fires, R3 starts Vigilante. It's an M1A1 Abrams. My dad builds these things for a living. Woo. SWAT -- A crowd control SWAT vehicle. Only seen in End of the Line. Taxi -- A taxi version of the Ford Crown Victoria. Thanks to Maikeru. Starts the Taxi missions. N. Airplanes (555XIIn) AT-400 -- A passenger jet liner. Yes, you can steal it. It's a Boeing 737. Beagle -- A light dual prop plane. Great for travel. It's a J-3 club. Cropduster -- A cropdusting biplane. There's one out in Bone County north of the large Quarry. It's a Grumman G-164 Ag-Cat. Thanks to kaneda. Dodo -- The stupid two-winged plane is back and just as horrid as ever. There's an open one in the LS airport. A single engine Cessna 150. Thanks to kaneda. Hydra -- Oh no I missed one vehicle out of 200, everyone send me e-mails complaining. A special military plane that you get as a reward for doing some missions at Verdant Meadows. It's am AV-8B Harrier II. Thanks to kaneda. Nevada -- An old dual-prop passenger plane. It's a Douglas DC-3. Thanks to JKetzer. Rustler -- A WWII fighter plane. All bronze in flight school gives you this as a reward. A P-40 Warhawk. Thanks to kaneda. Shamal -- A private jet. There's an unlocked one at the LS airport. It's a Bombardier Learjet 40. Thanks to kaneda. Skimmer -- The stupid sea plane from Vice is back, but now it can land on land or water. It's a Havilland Beaveer. Stuntplane -- A single-prop biplane. All silver in flight school unlocks this plane. Also used in race tournaments. It's a Pitts Special. Thanks to JKetzer. O. Helicopters (555XIIo) Cargobob -- A transport helicopter that looks like military. It's a Mil Mi-17. Thanks to kaneda. Hunter -- The real military helicopter. R3 starts Vigilante (Brown Thunder). This is the ultimate crime fighter. All gold in pilot school gives this as your reward. An AH-64A Apache. Leviathan -- Appears in Verdant Meadows after Up, Up, and Away. Sadly, there is no magnet. It's an SH-3 Sea King. Thanks to Gene Morrow. Maverick -- A plane old simple helicopter. It's a Bell 206B2 JetRanger. (Thanks again Alex B.) Raindance -- A big helicopter with no real interests. It's a UH-60 Black Hawk (Thanks Alex B.) Sea Sparrow -- A helicopter that can land on water. Hit L1 for machine guns. Very nice. It's a Bell H-13, but with water pontoons. Sparrow -- A simple helicopter with a bubble cockpit. It's a Bell H-13. P. Boats (555XIIp) Coastguard -- A plain coast guard boat. Dingy -- A James Bond style inflatable raft. Jetmax -- A sleek speed boat. Get all gold at boat school for this. Launch -- An attack boat. Spiffy. Marquis -- A nice looking recreational boat. All bronze at boat school nabs you one of these. Predator -- The police boat, so you aren't safe at sea. Hit L1 for machine gun fire. Reefer -- A lame fishing boat. Speeder -- The second fastest boat in the sea. Very sleek and cool. Squallo -- A tenth of a step down from the Speeder is the Squallo. Almost as good, and it's your reward for all silver in boat school. Tropic -- A simple recreational boat. Q. RC Cars (555XIIq) RC Bandit -- A remote controlled race car. RC Baron -- A remote controlled biplane. RC Goblin -- A remote controlled helicopter. RC Tiger -- A remote controlled tank. There are nearly 200 vehicles in GTA:SA. Have fun. More in-depth info on some cars by Johnny Wales, Jon Palazzo, L. Faustini, Smartbomb, Raymond Shao, Rick Miller, and KKgrandi, since I really don't care about this section of the guide. If you want better info, feel free to send it in. I am most certainly not a car connoiseur, nor do I care how that's even spelled. ******************************************************************************* XIII. Extraneous Crap (555XIII) Note: I cannot fix glitches. These are just ways to do them or perhaps says to avoid them. Glitches sent in must be something I can recreate, not a random happening that you can't do yourself more than once. I check every glitch before it is added to avoid problems. A. Glitches (555XIIIa) HOLY CRAP EXTRA TERRITORIES GALORE -- This was discovered on a few GTA forums and has been perfected by tons of people. It was originally discovered by accident, but it works consistently now. Take a boat or plane and head the southwest or southeast corner of the map. Tape the X button down and keep going for as long as you want. Thirty minutes is usually sufficient. Drown yourself or head back if you want. When you respawn, you should have territories in the Badlands, SF, the Desert, and one HUGE territory in LV. All these territories are able to be taken over if you can find the gang members, and are taken in one wave. The problem with this is that having GSF members everywhere means that everyone has a GSF car...which aren't fun to drive at all. Beagle Boom by Neil H. -- Plane glitch: In Fort Carson there's building with a dirt lot next to it and two American flags hanging from it, near the east junction by the 'U' shaped road in the southeast of the town. For some reason, a Beagle plane occasionally spawns in the yard; if you look at it, the left wing is wedged inside the building's porch and the right is between a palm tree and a telegraph pole. It you get in, it explodes almost the minute you turn the engines on and there's nowhere for it to take off anyway. My guess is a different vehicle was supposed to spawn there. The plane doesn't spawn a fair bit of the time, it's there about as often as the Cropduster north of the Quarry is. Bike Fun by Zeiram W. -- Take a BMX/Mountain Bike (the Bike doesn't seem to work) and hit square, then while holding square down, very rapidly tap X and voila, CJ will do something very weird, he will strech underground and if you release square (and from now on just hold X down) you'll notice a bit of ragdoll physics, but not for long. Blue Hell Strikes Back from hfetus -- Yes, blue hell is back again! It's harder to do this though than in the previous games. Usually, you need to fool around near steep slopes (like those in the dried up dam areas), jumping around to trigger it. It can occur in other places, though. For example, I was once running from the cops in Los Santos with a 2-star wanted level, and I was fleeing back to my house to save and dump it. I tried turning a corner hard in order to mess up the chasing cars. Well, I ended up going through the wall on my right! As always, you fall through a blue void into nothingness and eventually respawn on the map. Bulletproof/Otherproof Vehicles by MrHurucles -- The two Tahomas in the first part of House Party are flameproof and bulletproof. Cesar's car in High Stakes, Lowrider is everythingproof. The forklift in Robbing Uncle Sam is bulletproof. More coming. Driving School Glitch by Zack Scott -- This glitch works by going to the Driving School in San Fierro during the time that the girlfriend who likes fat people is in there (I think morning time). Once you've verified that she's there, pay attention to who's she's chatting with. Next, go out the back door and quickly jump onto the roof. Go towards the front of the building and then face the back. In a few moments, the person that she was talking to will fall from the sky and splat on the roof! This scared the crap out of me the first time it happened, and I initially thought it was generated by random chance, but it works every time the girlfriend is in there chatting with someone. Ghost Car Glitch by Stan Gunn -- As a result of damage from numerous crashes, my car blew up as I crossed the finish line in the "Wu Zi Mu" mission race. The screen went black and the drive made loading noises for what seemed like minutes. When it finally loaded, I was alive and the game indicated that I had completed the mission but there was no car to be seen. Instead, there was a bit of empty air with steam rising from it -- much like you'd see coming out of the hood of a moderately damaged vehicle. I tried to enter the invisible vehicle but there was nothing to enter. Then I armed my baseball bat and started swinging at the air. When I hit a certain spot (that seemed to move) I could hear the sound of metal being bashed. After a few seconds of this a broken windshield dropped out of the air. Firing into the empty space with a gun had no effect and I was never able to do enough damage to cause any other effects. There are other instances of ghost cars in the Badlands, such as a car that can drive through trees with tons of damage, and if you steal it, you cannot repair it. This is the closest to paranormal you'll find in SA. Gang Fun by hamradio -- Get any number of gang members up to the amount you can (Tested with 1 and 3, so I am assuming any number that you can), and get them to follow you to a safe house. Go inside the safe house then press up to tell them to follow you. Now move over to the save thing and hit cancel when it pops up. Now, you should see them in your safe house but frozen and you can walk through them and they still talk to you. General Store by knacklethrasher -- Turn into the parking lot of a general store in Las Venturas and your front wheels go into the ground. To do this, you need to drive towards the door of the general store, and it happens where the sidewalk meets the parking lot. Girls Suck -- It's common knowledge that many girlfriends aren't home for some reasons. Try saving, loading, etc, or change your outfit and possibly body style. Maybe try going fat for a while. Sometimes, the most fickle of things can fix the glitch. Gym Glitch -- The infamous gym glitch is simply that it says that you cannot work out, even though you haven't done any work that day. There are a few fixes. The first is to save the game into an unused slot, load that, save it to slot 1, and then reload slot 1. The trick I used was to remove all clothes on CJ and try working out. When that failed, I put his clothes back on, and I could work out again. Headless CJ -- This has been submitted by quite a few people. In two-player mode, cut off CJ's head with a Katana, then kill player two to return to single player. CJ will still have no head until you load a save or get wasted/busted. Mad Madd Dogg -- In the mission, Madd Dogg, he jumps with no warning and you have no time to catch him. There is no known fix for this. Mega Hops -- On a bike, hold L1 for a bunnyhop. Right as you release, hit circle to go sky high. It takes some pratice, but it's awesome. ReverendTed's Missile Glitch -- All missiles fly backwards in this game. Kind of a weird thing to notice. The Bus Error Returns...Again by Glitch Master -- Continued from the previous two games (GTA3 and Vice City) the Bus is still treated as an emergency vehicle when taken to a Pay 'N' Spray. When you attempt to spray a Bus, for some reason the game apparently thinks it's an emergency vehicle, and the message says: "Whoa, I'm not touching anything that hot!" or something like that. This is the same message seen when you attempt to spray military/police vehicles, ambulances, and fire trucks. Obviously, a Bus shouldn't classify as a vehicle of this nature. This does not happen when you try to spray a Coach. This Song Sucks by Shigmiya64 -- You can skip songs on the radio. Change to another station, then change back to the station playing the song you hate. As soon as the text at the top of the screen saying the name of the station turns yellow, before the station starts to play, change the station again. Change back to the original station, and it will have skipped whatever song it was playing. Walking Under Water by many people -- In a 2-player free roam, get in a Sea Sparrow or Skimmer. When the second player tries to get in, he will be stuck under water, but will have no breath meter and can walk around. Where My Tags at? -- If you start spraying a tag and run out of paint after being like 90% done with it, you cannot get credit for it. Ever. Ouch. Unlimited Ammo by multiple people -- Start the Ammunation Challenge and then leave, and it should add 100-1000 ammo for all weapons besides the heavy weapons (RPGs, miniguns, etc). Getting your ammo over 9999 locks it at that amount and it won't go down. Have a glitch? Send it in with GLITCH in the topic header. If your e-mail does not have GLITCH in the title, and you want to submit one, it will be disregarded and you can try again. ############################################################################### B. Easter Eggs (555XIIIb) ***Where does the name Easter Egg come from?*** This is mainly for some of the foreign e-mailers that don't understand why Easter Eggs are titled as such. In America, and probably elsewhere, it's customary for little children to hunt decorated eggs that their friends or family members have hidden in backyards or playgrounds, or wherever. The eggs are pointless and really serve no purpose. An Easter Egg in a video game is a humorous, yet pointless hidden thing in the game. Before You Die by Jordan -- In Idlewood, near the two-player freeroam icon is, go behind it and take a right, and you'll see a fenced in area with the well in the movie The Ring. Best Egg Ever by Ryan Lewis -- In San Fierro south of the Gant Bridge, there is a resturant, and west of it there is a sign that says: BRIDGE FACTS Length - 150.7 m Height - 60.3 m above sea level 16000 polygons Inc LOOs 600 m draw distance 11 textures Takes up a staggering 1.27 MB of disk space I've seen it before, but I was waiting for someone to submit it again. It's truly the best egg in any of the GTA games. Bigfoot/Leatherface -- Wait, these don't exist. Stop asking me about them. No seriously, they do not ****ing exist. I know the guy that made the first Bigfoot photoshop. Bodies in the Sand by Bob Mujis -- Just a little North of the NO FLY ZONE, at the road entrance near some rocks, you can find a hole with six bodies inside. You can find pictures of the map and the bodies at: http://faq.gtasanandreas.nl/index.php?spage=eggs/tpk.htm Broken Bridge by Max S. -- The bridge above Grove Street has broken railing because of the cutscene that happens at the end of the game. Buffy the Gangsta Slayer -- If you look in the Crypt in the Los Santos Graveyard (Where CJ's mother is buried), you'll see a TV, Laz-e-Boy and pizza boxes--a reference to Spike in Buffy The Vampire Slayer, who has a similar setup. Burnin' Alive by Matt James -- Go into the Well Stacked Pizza nearest to your first hideout in Los Santos and go through the steel door to the left, and then through the one to your right. Whip out a sniper rifle and look closely at the red fire blanket holders on the wall opposite the cashiers. One picture is normal, of a woman putting the blanket on a fiery oven, but the second is a dead body rolled up in the blanket. Don't Jump by Barry McWilliams -- Near the Vank Hoff Hotel, there's a small sign that says NO BASE JUMPING. BASE jumping is freefalling off a very tall building with a parachute, which is ironic, since there's an entrance to the top of the hotel to jump off of. Fast Food Fun by Woo' Tang Clan -- Go to any food restaraunt and start killing people. Run behind the counter and give them time to respawn. When they come back, kill them again. As you rack up wanted levels, the customers will respawn as cops that can't attack you. Kill them for as long as you want -- they'll never fight back. This is an excellent way to raise your criminal ranking. Gant Surprise -- At the top of the Gant bridge is a sign that says, there are no Easter Eggs up here. Go away. Submitted by many people. Girls from the Past by Sean M. -- If you date Barbara the cop or Katie the nurse, and restart the game, the game will act as if you are dating them. This is an awesome glitch, but I am unsure of the reprecussions. Glory Hole by Glitch Master -- Yes, there is a hole in the game, unless my disc is defective in this area. I'm actually surprised that nobody else has found this yet, and that might actually be the case. Anyway... In Los Santos, on the right edge of the district East Los Santos, one block to the left (parallel street to the left) of the last street within that district on the map you will find the hole. At the top right corner of this street there is a hole in a wall and a single non-solid plane for a sort of floor. There are no polygons for walls or ceiling, and again, the "floor" is not solid. This is right out in the open, right off the edge of the street, and was probably intended to be a sort of cut out building entrance. If you walk into it, you will fall into the abyss below, and, of course, reappear on the street moments later. I entered this area with a Jetpack, and explored a bit under that part of the city. Right near the "hole", there is a floating arrow indicating an entrance to some building. This is under the solid ground, floating in nothingness, and is in no way accessible. I imagine that they were in such haste to release the game that they forgot to finish this small area. It probably was a hole in a building that gave access to a hallway that led to a door where this entrance would have been. (East Los Santos is the top right corner of the Ballas' purple territory, where it meets a yellow territory, if you haven't influenced these yet.) There is no indication of any sort of shop or misc. building anywhere on either the game or illustrated maps, though there is a restaurant not far from it. I hope my directions aren't too confusing... It'd be easier to make a map. I'll probably do that in the future if this is consistent in every game. This is the hole that you crash into during the mission "End of the Line". Happy Days by vinweasel -- Get a ZR-350 or a police car (these are the only ones I know that it works on), and do a burnout, but instead of doing a 360, go left to right a few times then reverse and look at your creation. It will be a smilie face instead of a donut. Hidden Package in SA by Ricky B. -- In Los Santos, East Los Santos, there is a hidden package tiki thing as an advertisement thing on a store. It's huge. It is on a store selling tiki things. Starting from your home in Ganton and start going down the only road you can go down. Make a right at the first road you can turn off on. Go down the street and as you go down it's like the third or so store on the right, so if I'm wrong then just look to your right the whole time and you should see it. Jerkin' On by The Omen -- In the mission Just Business, the statue in the building is making the "jerk off" symbol. Manhunting by Denny L. -- If you go into the bar in Grove Street and look at the paintings on the wall, youí¢â‚¬â„¢ll see a message that says í¢â‚¬Å“BOBOí¢â‚¬? and an armed soldier is standing there with a gun in his hand. This soldier just so happens to be the armed guards on Manhunt's later levels, they are called í¢â‚¬Å“Cerberusí¢â‚¬?. In fact, once you unlock the extra concept art for Cerberus, which is the identical picture used for the concept art (missing the lower body of course). I thought this was pretty neat. More Gant Fun by Adam Musa -- There's a diner below the start of the bridge in San Fierro that has "An Acutal Piece of the Cable" featured as a tourist attraction. On the sign is says: Ooooooooh amazing... Isn't it fantastic? No, it's just simple physics. I don't know why we're making such a fuss. Rockstar Loves the Racing by Taldi -- Most NRG-500s have the number 46 as their racing number, an homage to Valentino Rossi, one of the greatest Moto GP racers ever. Rock On by Xeigrich -- There's a rock north of Palomino Creek entitled Northstar Rock. Harhar. Sex Shop by Derek S. -- There are alot of funny things in the sex shop you can enter. There is a ***** mounted on a chainsaw. Also, some of the books in there have funny titles. Like "Jenny and Sara, Lesbo Adventure." Sex Shop II by vinweasel -- In the Sex Shop, there is a sign on the door that reads something like "To remain in the arcade, you must be in the booth, doors locked, films running, lights off, wanking, otherwise you must leave." The bad grammar is in the sign. The Sky Is Falling by Maikeru -- Near Zero's RC, I saw this odd guy wearing a small box on his head (kind of helmet style) and another piece of cardboard taped to his chest. Anyway, I used my camera to get a better look at him. He's some sort of homeless person, but the box on his head had the words "Keep Out" written on it and piece of cardboard taped to his chest reads "God is playing with us!" Which, if you think about it means the programmers and the game players as they control the world and the people in it. Tractor Tow by many -- Drive a tractor to a Combine Harvester, kill the driver, and use the right analog stick to tow the Harvester. The faster you go while towing, the faster you go. You can also do a hard turn while going at this speed and you'll go flying off to a side. True Crime Sucked -- At the train tunnel near Unity Station, among other places, there's an ad for a company called 'True Grime', with a tagline about getting rid of 'old rubbish'. Thanks to Phil Gerrard. Use a Real Phone for These by Joe Dawson -- The following fax numbers will send you something back if you call them. 1-866-FUN-CULT -- The Epsilon Tract 1-866-FACE-FEAR -- Inversion Therapy Vanity Plates by Afroholic -- Many thanks for all of these. Mission Plates: Sweet's Greenwood: GROVE4L Ryder's Picador: SHERM Jizzy's Broadway: HO 2 HO Truth's Mothership: EREHTTUO Car in Badlands Mission: ASSMAN Pulaski's Buffalo on High Noon mission: PULASKI Car in Yay Ka-Boom-Boom mission: TIME BOMB Cesar's Car: LUVA4L Toreno's Car: OMEGA Windsor on Home on the Hills mission: J LOMAX Girlfriends: Denise's Hustler: HOMEGIRL Millie's Car: SPANK Katie's Car: TRAUMA Barbara's Car: CUFFS Michelle's Car: NOS Imports: Feltzer: DR DR F Comet: LOLLY Jester: GRO1N or G3P0 Infernus: J L335 Rancher: S4LEI JON Other: Bullet in SF Burgershot: CHUNKY Banshee beside San Fierro Gym: BDP Hotknife at Driving School: GOLD Vice City Maps also by Afroholic -- Go to Angel Pine and find the Clucking Bell. Right across the street are three trash cans. Knock them over to find a bunch of maps of Vice City. What's On Your Tombstone? by C. Conliffe -- All of the gravestones in San Andreas read "OPPOSITION, 1997-2004. RIP." Wish Upon a Star by Louis VI -- Look at the sky on a clear night and you should be able to see a Rockstar logo with a big star where the star in the logo is. Zero's Shop -- There are many Manhunt and GTA figurines in Zero's RC shop, and Zachary S says that you can even see the Vice City game box in there. Zombies! Oh no! by Darrel Park -- San Fierro Downtown, inside the Genetic Research building there are signs over the elevators with "FLOORS 1 TO 6 ONLY" and such, but the middle one says "ZOMBIE LAB ONLY." Have an easter egg? Send it in with EASTER EGG in the topic header. If your e-mail does not have EASTER EGG in the title, and you want to submit one, it will be disregarded and you can try again. ############################################################################### C. Criminal Rankings (555XIIIc) I will love you forever if you can get me a listing of all the titles for criminal rankings, or, even better, if you can get numbers to go along with them. A lot of people liked this in my Vice FAQ, and I'd love to have it done here. -10000 - -6000 = Crackhead -5999 - -4000 = Bitch-made -3999 - -2000 = Off-Brand -1999 - -500 = Scandalous -499 - -1 = Player-hater 0 - 19 = Vic 20 - 49 = Square 50 - 74 = Civilian 75 - 99 = Rat 100 - 119 = Snitch 120 - 149 = Dry Snitch 150 - 199 = Transformer 200 - 239 = Punk-ass Bitch 240 - 269 = Sucka 270 - 299 = Poot Butt 300 - 329 = Buster 330 - 369 = Mark 370 - 399 = Chump 400 - 449 = Trick 450 - 499 = Red-headed Stepcild 500 - 549 = Peon 550 - 599 = Pee-Wee 600 - 609 = Prankster 610 - 649 = Fool 650 - 699 = Street Cat 700 - 849 = Thug 850 - 999 = Hustler 1000 - 1049 = Playa Partner 1150 - 1299 = Mack 1300 - 1499 = Pimp 1500 - 1699 = Crime Partner 1700 - 1999 = Homeboy 2000 - 2099 = Homie 2100 - 2299 = Road Dawg 2300 - 2499 = Hoodsta 2500 - 2749 = Hard-ass 2750 - 2999 = Banger 3000 - 3499 = Lil' G 3500 - 3999 = Loc 4000 - 4999 = Jacker 5000 - 7499 = Shooter 7500 - 9999 = Foot Soldier 10000 - 19999 = Hoo-Rider 20000 - 29999 = Soldier 30000 - 39999 = Hawg 40000 - 49999 = Gangsta 50000 - 59999 = Ghetto Star 60000 - 79999 = Monster 80000 - 99999 = Big Homie 100000 - 149999 = Boss Hawg 150000 - 199999 = Shot Caller 200000 - 299999 = OG 300000 - 399999 = High Roller 400000 - 499999 = Four-Star 500000 - 749999 = General 750000 - 999999 = Godfather 1000000 = King of San Andreas Thanks to The Great Onion Kid and GTADomain for these rankings. Thanks to blaze888888 and diego siles for the complete listing, and thanks to many others for small corrections. If I mistyped something, let me know, but it looks pretty good to me. How to boost a criminal ranking (these are generalizations, and are not always going to happen exactly as I have it: $5000 = 1 Point Killing a civilian = 1 Point Completing a mission = 5 Points Blowing up a vehicle = 5 Points Blowing up a helicopter or plane = 30 Points Getting Busted/Wasted = -3 Points Using a cheat = -10 Points Thus, the best way to boost your criminal ranking is to shove a bunch of planes in the hangar at Verdant Meadows and blow them all up, then close the hangar and repeat. Also, a big "shame on you" for those that submitted the info saying that they wrote all the listings down themselves and gave me the exact same list as what GTADomain has up. That's lame guys. ############################################################################### D. Flight Rankings (555XIIId) 0:00 - 0:05 = No Ranking 0:05 - 0:10 = Flyboy 0:10 - 0:20 = Aircraftman 0:20 - 0:30 = Pilot Officer 0:30 - 1:00 = Corporal 1:00 - 1:30 = Lieutenant 1:30 - 2:00 = Sergeant 2:00 - 2:30 = Captain 2:30 - 3:00 = Biggs 3:00 - 3:30 = Wedge 3:30 - 4:00 = Red Baron 4:00 - 4:30 = Goose 4:30 - 5:00 = Viper 5:00 - 6:00 = Jester 6:00 - 7:00 = Chappy 7:00 - 8:00 = Iceman 8:00 - 9:00 = Maverick 9:00 - 10:00 = Noops 10:00 - 20:00 = Air Chief Marshal 20:00 - 30:00 = Ace Captain does NOT come after Ace. If Captain came after Ace for you, then you should also get Biggs later. It takes a LOT of flying to get Ace. Again, thanks to GTADomain. Many thanks to Nick Taylor for all of the numbers for these. I'll send the hooker over on Friday. And yes, most of the names are from the movie Top Gun, including Biggs and Wedge. Yes, that's right videogeeks, they are't originally from Final Fantasy, but rather from an old Tom Cruise movie. Edit: Actually, they're from an even older movie that you should all know, Star Wars. They were Red Two and Red Three. Thanks to all the people that submitted this and made me feel like a twit :(. There's a glitch where you get Ace before you're supposed to. Just know that you need to have flown a LOT before you get to Ace. If you go Ace then say, Captain, you just had a glitch. Sorry doods. ******************************************************************************* XIV. Contact Information (555XIV) Have a submission, idea, criticism, hate mail? Send it to me at sanandreasfaq@gmail.com! You can find me on GameFAQs as AggroSk8er. Mission info? Put what mission in the title. Make my life easier, please. If you have a question on something already answered, I will yell at you and call you stupid. I have very little patience for things like that. ******************************************************************************* XV. Special Thanks (555XV) I would like to thank Rockstar, Rockstar North, and all related companies for making this game! I would also like to thank GameFAQs for providing me with some good FREE info. It's too hard to name names, but I'll add them later I would also like to kick all the gaming pay sites that force you to click past the links to "GTA:SA info here!" only to find a question asking for how you'd like to pay. Lastly, I'd like to thank everyone who has IM'ed me or e-mailed me with good info. Oh, and boo to everyone who sent me stupid stuff. "I feel blessed." -- Fernando Martinez, who should've been in this game. "As long as we have opposable thumbs, WE WILL FIGHT YOU!" -- Zero Fun facts: 100% completion in just over 68:00. 2nd run of 100% in 46:21. Never went out on a single date. Hitman in all weapons; all skills maxed. Never had more than eight tries on any mission. All gold at all schools. End Brag. 5624 lines of text for version 1.0a. 6425 lines of text for version 2.0f. Highlights: http://pages.sbcglobal.net/cowoflight/bestletter.jpg http://pages.sbcglobal.net/cowoflight/bestemail.jpg http://pages.sbcglobal.net/cowoflight/wowemail.jpg http://pages.sbcglobal.net/cowoflight/wowemail2.jpg http://pages.sbcglobal.net/cowoflight/wowemail3.jpg http://pages.sbcglobal.net/cowoflight/wowemail4.jpg http://pages.sbcglobal.net/cowoflight/wowemail5.jpg This is me: http://pages.sbcglobal.net/cowoflight/merryxmas.jpg It's been fun. ******************************************************************************* Das End. Copyright 2004 Chase Ansok. Much, much thanks to Chase for permission to post the FAQ!
Kindred Fates is an open world monster battling RPG, and a love letter to the monster battle genre. Our goal is to evolve the genre, and finally bring fans what they've been asking for.