PSP Vs. DS: The GR Portable Prizefight!

Coke vs. Pepsi. Red States vs. Blue States. Game Revolution vs. Belgium. Contrary to the rhetoric spouted by the hippie professors at UC Berkeley in between bong rips, peace is NOT the answer, and for good reason. If we all got along, the lack of competition would result in a world rife with boring soft drinks, weak jam bands and, quite possibly, dictatorial rule by those pesky Belgians and their delectable waffles.

It would also mean that gamers would be stuck playing Nintendo handhelds for the rest of their pale, malnourished lives. That's really not such a bad thing if you consider the company's terrific handheld track record, but hey, we're not here to applaud the past, we're here to interrogate the future under the bright, cold light of completely unscientific reason.

Because that reason finally has a… uh… reason to be applied. March 24 is more than just Mr. Roper's birthday (born Normal Fell, March 24, 1924) – it's the day Sony fired its first salvo by releasing their highly-anticipated PSP. Nintendo's stranglehold on the handheld market faces its biggest threat in a decade. The war has begun.

But we're not about to duck and cover. In fact, we consider this the perfect opportunity for a quick and dirty study of Sony's PSP versus Nintendo�s DS in an effort to determine, once and for all, which system rules today.

There are many ways to conduct such an undertaking. True nerds would examine the technical specs under a microscope, perhaps dissecting each machine to determine if the fantastic bone structure of one outweighs the tasty abs of the other. Diplomatic Gentlemen would beat around the bush for a few thousand words to justify their retarded opinion that both handhelds are equally wonderful. Fanboys would tell us why Mario rules and why Sony is 'teh gayyyz.'

Since we at GR are neither nerds (we hope), gentlemen (we fear) nor fanboys (teh gayyyz), we opted to embrace our country's aggressive roots by dropping both systems into a custom-built miniature boxing ring constructed by the GR science department out of popsicle sticks and glue. The two handhelds proceeded to duke it out inside this 'ringlet,' which was particularly hard to watch since neither system has any arms.

The result was a display of digital bloodlust so savage it would haunt our dreams for days and give us an answer to our initial question: Which system kicks the most ass in a fake fight?

>> ROUND 1 – Let's get physical, physical…

We start with an easy call because it's easy, and we like easy. Both systems are roughly the same size – neither fits comfortably in your pocket, but both will definitely fit in the front portion of your backpack. The DS is metallic, utilitarian and edgier, featuring two small but effective screens and weighing a bit less than the PSP. Sony's device is smoother, darker and more rounded, featuring one giant, gorgeous LCD display, and is longer and leaner than the DS.

Which one is hotter? No contest – the PSP, far and away the more attractive system. Between that giant screen and its mature, sleek design, the system simply feels like the future. If you don't believe us, take a gander at these pictures:

Click to enlarge

Imagine yourself at a bar and you have to take one of these home with you. If you're going for a trophy night, you make a pass at the PSP and hope for the best. If you've had too much vodka, you grab the DS because, well, it's the last one left in the bar.

Hmmm…maybe we took that analogy too far. Please do not attempt to make love to either system (or at least USE PROTECTION).

PSP, you won our hearts. Point!

PSP: 1	DS: 0

>> ROUND 2 – How much can you bench, wuss?

We go from the easy category directly into the hard one, and we say that because it's kind of a pointless issue. Who cares which system is technically more powerful? If professional wrestling has taught us anything, it's that even little guys can body-slam Andre the Giant with the help of enough steroids. Thanks for the philosophy lesson, WWE! Now please shut your doors and stop encouraging our youth to suck it.

Nevertheless, here goes. According to Sony, the PSP CPU runs at 333 MHz, while the DS uses dual processors that run at 66 Mhz and 33 Mhz. We don't know what that means because we choose to leave the house every once in a while. It sounds mathematical, we know that.

But when you actually sit down and play the two systems, it becomes quite clear that the PSP packs more punch. Part of this could be attributed to the absolutely amazing LCD screen, which developers claim eases their programming tasks by crunching things into a great resolution. We watched Spider-Man 2 on it and after a few minutes we forgot we were holding a little machine. Obviously, the PSP is designed to do more than play games, which means it needs more power in more places.

That being said, the DS earns high marks for its routinely smooth loading times and seemingly effortless rendering. Despite the currently lackluster DS library, most all of its games look good and run well.

But it's very, very hard to argue with the advanced graphics of Sony's toy, and even harder when you consider how totally underqualified we are to even have this argument in the first place. Based on the two dozen PSP and DS games we've played so far, there can be only one�or can there?

1 Point for the PSP, a half-point for the DS since we're such technical morons.

PSP: 2	DS: .5

>> ROUND 3 – No power to the people!

We decided to slip this in here since it ties in directly to the power thing. What good is an SUV if you can't afford the gas to get it moving?

Not very good at all, it turns out. The PSP's battery life has been a sore spot for consumers ever since it was first surmised that the thing couldn't stay on very long and would need to be recharged pretty frequently. Now that it's out, what's the deal?

About 4 and a half hours, that's what. The PSP manual states the battery life will fluctuate between 3 and 6, depending on the functions being used; if you just listen to MP3s, you're looking at the higher end of the spectrum, while playing games uses more energy since the UMD (Universal Media Disc) format is, essentially, a CD. Keeping a CD spinning takes power, unlike a cartridge, which just sits there being lazy. Playing a game wirelessly will suck up energy like a space heater, so don't expect to play online for hours at a time.

As we've been playing the PSP, it turns out the battery hasn't been as big of an issue as we thought it would. Compared to the DS, though, the PSP battery is on shaky legs. Nintendo's goodie lasts pretty long on a single charge, anywhere between about 6 to 10 hours, definitely a better system to take camping. Plus, it can kill a bear.

Hopefully we'll see all kinds of new battery devices for the PSP to help alleviate the pain of charging it up every other day, but until then, Nintendo gets our award for longevity.

DS, 1 Point for you!

PSP: 2	DS: 1.5

>> ROUND 4 – Does it slice, dice, AND supply an endless stream of Doritos?

Ah, now we're getting somewhere. These are cool little high-tech gadgets after all, which means we want all kinds of sci-fi things to do with 'em. Although at first glance the winner here might seem clear, allow us to conversate not unlike a rapper.

The DS truly makes its living with its odd gimmickry, a fact that stands in perfect harmony with Nintendo's age-old commitment to giving gamers new ways to interact with their games (R.I.P, Virtual Boy). The dual screen approach is a brave one and has already led to some interesting gameplay dynamics not found on any other system. Using the touch-screen and built-in mic to play games is a crowd-pleaser, and while some games make better use of these devices than others, you have to stand up and loudly applaud Nintendo for trying new things. That's a nice complement to a company that has relied on the same mascot support network for nearly all of its twenty-year U.S. lifespan.

Speaking of which, you can enjoy the massive numbers of older and upcoming GBA games on the DS thanks to its backwards compatibility. That's a lot of software and a bunch of very good games, even if they don't utilize any of the features of the DS. Many of those games are kid-friendly, too, making the DS a better pick for the wee ones.

How about saving games? Well, the DS continues Nintendo's handheld tradition of cartridges, meaning you save your games directly on the games themselves rather than the system. This has obvious merits since you never really have to manage memory, but also means you can't really take your saved games over to a friend's house. It's cost-efficient, but a bit antiquated.

Wireless multiplayer support is also available on the DS, and we've seen a handful of titles take advantage of this in a great way by not requiring every user to have a copy of the game. Unfortunately, despite the fact that the system is equipped with the 802.11b wireless networking standard, there has been no word on whether or not they'll actually start making some games playable online. If history is any indication, don't expect Nintendo to put much effort into supporting interesting online setups.

However, the DS scores big with its remarkable surround-sound emulation. It provides serious audio for such a small device. You can't listen to music on it or anything, but man, those games definitely sound good.

But while the DS takes some cool risks with its design, so does the PSP-and it does a few things even better.

One look at the PSP and you know this ain't a Gameboy. For starters, it's got both a D-Pad and an analog stick, although the small nub itself takes some getting used to. The system also comes with a built-in USB 2.0 port, which might not sound as sexy as a touch-screen, but the ability to connect your PSP to a PC opens up all sorts of doors previously closed to handheld gaming. You can connect a USB camera and take pictures. You can download MP3s and use your PSP as a poor-man's Ipod (just don't expect it to hold remotely as many songs without seriously upgrading the standard 32 MB memory card). The PSP can read .jpgs as well; I know some very geeky geeks who have even downloaded entire anime novels online to read using the PSP. The geeks.

We didn't think the PSP could compete with the DS' awesome audio, but after testing the two systems side by side, all we could hear was the PSP. Plus, it comes with cool headphones right out of the box.

Since the system has no internal hard drive, it relies on Sony's classic memory card plan for saving games (the PSP runs UMDs and therefore games can't be saved onto them directly). The standard 32 MB card will hold a good amount of saves and you can always get a bigger one, but that ain't free. Expect to manage your saves just as you did with the Playstation and PS2, although this time, you can use that USB connection to swap them over to a PC. That's pretty awesome integration.

In terms of wi-fi, the PSP gets the win if only because so many of the games already support actual online play. Provided you have a wireless internet connection handy (any wireless home router will do, as will any public wi-fi hotspot), you can actually play your PSP against other PSP owners around the world. Joe, for instance, played Twisted Metal against a guy in Utah while sitting on the GR toilet here in California. Talk about efficient gaming!

Well done, PSP. 1 Point for you…and a half point for the DS (because we're suckers for backwards compatibility.)

PSP: 3	DS: 2

>> ROUND 5 – What's the name of this site again?

We've said it so many times in our nine years online, we should have it turned into a keyboard shortcut. We say it every day during our morning stretches. When we hire a new editor, we make them tattoo it on the limb of their choice:

It's not the hardware that matters, it's the games.

Now, we should preface this by saying that while we strongly feel that games make the system, we have in the past been proven wrong. We call that event The Sega Dreamcast.

The Dreamcast was a great system and even up to its demise featured some of the best software available on any platform. Soul Calibur first made waves as a Dreamcast exclusive and remained the best fighting game for several years running. The rig was rife with terrific RPGs, racing games, action games, sports games – heck, NFL 2K was the very first online console game, and it worked well over a 56K connection. We loved the Dreamcast and we mourned the day Sega yanked the plug.

Of course, they did that because they timed it poorly and couldn't compete with Sony's marketing muscle and consumer confidence. Sometimes, sadly, the games don't matter.

However, we're far from that day, and so with great pride we say, once again, that the quantity and quality of the software ultimately determines the success of the system. And if that's indeed the case, then Nintendo is in trouble.

Here's why. Of the fifteen DS games currently out, only a handful are worth your money, and even those are somewhat underwhelming. Let us repeat: fifteen games have been released for the DS in the U.S. since the system came out on November 21, 2004. That's fifteen titles in four months. Talk about supporting your system… Nintendo is practically a deadbeat dad.

Though there are a few big games looming on the horizon (Castlevania DS, Animal Crossing, Advance Wars), you have to wonder what exactly Nintendo is thinking. Thus far, most of the games haven't done a great job integrating the advanced DS functions with smart gameplay, leading to a library full of tech demos but scarce on actual games.

The PSP, on the other hand, looks to set records with a whopping 24 games available at launch, including 8 first-party games and franchise titles from the likes of EA, Activision, Namco and Ubisoft. It's unlikely that every game will make the launch day cut, but two games that certainly will, Wipeout: Pure and Twisted Metal: Head-On, are already better than anything playing on the DS. Rather than go for strange ways to play old games, Sony has opted to emulate the console experience as closely as possible. They aren't going for new – they're going for solid, and so far, it looks like they're doing a pretty good job. And since Sony has a track record of working well with third-parties, Nintendo needs to make some big moves…and soon.

We feel so strongly about the games issue that we're weighing it heavy. The PSP lands a haymaker. 2 points!

PSP: 5	DS: 2

>> FINAL ROUND – Please make checks payable to…

We started easy, so we figured we'd end that way, too. The DS retails for $150; the PSP goes for $250. DS software tends to start out at the affordable $30 price point, while PSP games fluctuate between $40 and $50 (movies on UMD run about $20, same as a DVD). If you have a light wallet, you know where to go.

However, don't let the seemingly exorbitant cost of the PSP freak you out; you're getting just about the fanciest gadget on the market for less than the cost of a standard Ipod. It's not actually the most expensive thing in the world…it's just the most expensive handheld in the world. Point, Nintendo.

Behold the final tally!

PSP: 5	DS: 3

The Verdict

So there you have it: the PSP defeated the DS by a score of 5 to 3. We're not sure what that means since our scoring system is so rickety to begin with, but we stand by our belief that we practice good science. You should see all the cloned zombies around here.

Look, we'd be flat-out lying if we said the PSP was just another handheld that should compete well with the DS. It's truly in another league, and though it isn't without its flaws, it's just about the most exciting product to hit the scene since the current console conflict began in 2001. The screen alone is an amazing piece of tech. Whether or not hardcore and casual gamers agree is another matter entirely, but since when did we care what you think. After all, you're the same people who made Survivor the number 7 selling PC game for a few weeks straight. Shame on you.

Nintendo finally has a reason to look over its shoulder, and while it's still in the driver's seat thanks to a massive handheld install base and rabid fan dedication, Sony is the console market leader for a good reason. The sparks are about to fly, so choose a side, play some games on the toilet, and above all else, duck and cover.

>> I want a rematch!